Standard Disclaimer:  Rurouni Kenshin characters are the property of creator Nobohiro Watsuki, Shueisha, Shounen Jump, and Sony Entertainment.    


Light of the Snow-Red Village
Vignette One - Lament of the Snow

by Akai Kitsune

~*~

Ah... beautiful...

The snow... I can see it falling, through the doorway...

The sun is shining... yes, beautiful...

There is pain, sharp and sudden, but it passes in time. Instead, a numbness, one that comes from touching the icy snow with nothing to protect one's skin...

And oh, there is suffering in such pain... knowing that I can no longer feel its touch... knowing that soon, I will no longer feel anything at all...

Strange... I do not fear death...

Only... I fear for those I leave behind...

Akira-san... how did you feel, as you died? How did it feel, as the life seeped from your body, as the blood fell to the ground, as his sword stole your strength and tore your spirit from the world...

Did it feel... like this...

But... I no longer feel any need for vengence. For, as I watch him, holding me close, cradling me against his own wounded body, the tears and grief in his eyes... all I can think of is...

... how sorry I am...

Beloved... do not hurt... do not grieve...

... do not forget...

My child, my daughter... where is she... I want to see her face again... I want to hold her, to cry for her, to say how sorry I am to leave her, so young...

... please forgive me... I did not know I would leave you so soon...

He will protect you, my child, and he will love you, in my place. He will watch you grow, nurture you, and through him, I will see you become older in time...

I am sorry I will not be there to teach you all you must know...

I am sorry that I will not be there to hold you when you cry...

I am sorry I will not be there when you hurt, or when you grieve...

I am sorry that I am tearing this family apart...

... forgive me...

The wind... it is so cold.

Perhaps it is not the wind.

Chilling... the feel of death on my heart... the icy touch of fate pulling me from this place...

Please, beloved... I do not want to go...

Hold me...

I am sorry for everything I have put you through... my cold indifference, for so long... my hidden hatred... my dark intentions... so long, so long...

I am sorry for my lies... for deceiving you... for allowing you to love me without reason... for loving you in return without honesty...

I am sorry for the scars I give... for the pain you are experiencing... my pain is so short, it will be gone soon... but you will carry this pain with you...

Do not hurt for long, beloved... I no longer want to hurt you...

Don't hurt...

Maybe... maybe a smile... maybe... just... just smile, beloved, make it all go away...

I'll smile... make it all go away...

And it hurts, as the dagger is separated from my own flesh, as I reach for him, to touch its blade to his... it pulls at the very limits of my small strength and makes me want to drop it... forget it... just... go...

... but... I must...

I'm so sorry, beloved... just... let me... do this one thing...

Scratch... drip... your blood, on my face... sorry, love, so sorry...

Forgive me, for the blood I have shed, for the pain I have caused, for the brand across your cheek... but... do not forget...

... please, do not forget...

Carry it with you, beloved... carry me with you... carry this pain, this thing I have left you, and someday... someday tell our child what I have done...

But... don't forget...

... don't hate me...

Just... let me touch him again... just once... to feel the warmth... his warmth...

To feel what we have left for him... Akira-san... and I... to touch him, and pray he will not forget...

... don't forget...

I am grateful that it is me, feeling this cold... feeling this frosty touch... he has seen so much death already...

I don't want to die... but... he deserves life, so much more...

He can care for her... he can love her more than I... he has so much love in his heart...

... he needs her more than I...

It's better this way... better...

Really...?

Much better...

Oh anata, you're crying...

... why do you cry? Why do you feel such grief in your heart?

Don't you see... this is better... so don't cry... don't cry... please, don't...

I cannot look... such pain, such regret... don't ever regret, love... you saved her, saved us...

Saved yourself... don't regret, love, don't cry...

No more darkness... no more... all I see is the light... such warmth and light... almost like...

... her light...

So warm... hold me, hold me tighter... hold me close...

... don't cry...

... don't forget...

... I love you...

Oh... you've been waiting, haven't you? You've been waiting for me...

... forgive me... I loved him, I loved you... forgive me...

... oh... good...

... yes, she is beautiful, isn't she... she is safe, and he will soon be, and he will keep her safe forever...

... and that will make me happy...

... ah, such warmth... such light... what I would give, to feel this, always...

... oh... really...

... farewell, beloved...

... do not forget...

~*~

    Notes: I apologize for any any cliches found in this little piece... I've wanted to write a character sketch of Tomoe for a long time, particularly during her death... but after seeing so many, it's hard to make something original. ^_^ After a lot of thinking, I decided that it would be better to write one involving "LSRV", in which I could add things that can't be found in other stories; therefore, it can still be my own work in that sense. I think it went well, and please forgive me if anything looks too familiar.

    This came along while I was writing Part II. I like to write scenes in which the speaker (or in most cases, thinker) is not revealed, but instead, hinted at through their words. It's pretty obvious in this one. Others may not be so easy, but it's sometimes better that way; depending on what is being said. I like writing this way; character sketches are fun for me, so long as I know the character well enough to write their inner thoughts.

    In case it wasn't guessed, Tomoe is speaking (or rather, thinking) to Akira closer to the end; I like to think he watched over her, much like Tomoe watched over Kenshin and Enishi after her own death. So naturally he would come to her as she dies.

Thanks for reading.
    Aki Kitsune

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