Standard Disclaimer:  Rurouni Kenshin characters are the property of creator Nobohiro Watsuki, Shueisha, Shounen Jump, and Sony Entertainment.    


Light of the Snow-Red Village
Vignette Two: Lament of the Rain

by Akai Kitsune


~*~

Tousan is crying...

I saw him on the roof today. I had a bad dream, so I went to find him.

I couldn't find him...

He is always near. He promised me.

    "Ume-chan, I will always be with you..."

But I couldn't find him. I almost cried.

Tousan always comes when I cry.

I didn't cry. I wanted to be strong like tousan. So I went on the roof to look for him.

I found him on the roof.

But...

Tousan was crying.

I felt like crying, too.

He looked so sad... tousan wasn't supposed to be sad.

    "I'll always be happy when you are with me."

Not supposed to be sad.

But...

I wasn't with him.

I was sleeping, so I wasn't with him.

Maybe he had a bad dream too. Maybe he went to look for me.

Maybe he couldn't find me.

That's why he was sad.

I wanted to see him. If tousan saw me, he would be happy again. He wouldn't be sad.

I don't want to see him sad.

Miya-baasan came to get me. She told me to be quiet and not bother tousan.

Bother? Why would I bother him?

He's sad... I want to make him happy...

    "Sometimes adults have to cry." she said to me, very quietly, like tousan was asleep.

    "They cry when no one's looking, so they don't make anyone else sad."

Why would you want to cry alone?

Whenever I cry, tousan is there. When I'm sad, he hugs me, and says nice things, and I feel better.

Don't grown-ups like hugs? Or do they not want to feel better?

Why does he like being alone?

    ~*~

She is crying...

She is crying, my love. She is crying, and it is my fault.

And it hurts.

Does it hurt, you ask, as much as when I cried?

Yes, I answer, that much and more, for I did not know I was the cause of those tears.

I know.

I am sorry. I am the only one who can answer for those tears.

But... I also know her tears. I can name them all, for each one is a sin I have caused.

And it hurts.

Does it hurt, you ask, as much as those wounds you carry, within and without, those wounds you bear because you could not protect me?

Yes, I answer, that much and more, for each one is a wound that could have been hers. Each drop of blood that is spilled was meant to be hers, because of me.

I know.

Why... why must it be for her? Why must those who seek me also seek her?

Why, you ask, does the sun rise in the morning?

I cannot answer you.

Because that is how it has always been.

And that is how it will always be.

Can you accept that?

No, I answer, for there will come a day when I will fail to protect her.

Just... just like...

I know.

And it hurts.

Does it hurt, you ask, as much as when you failed me?

Yes, I answer, and there are tears in my eyes that no one can answer for but myself. Yes, for I made a promise to you, and I shattered it with my own hands, and oh, how it hurts.

You made a promise to her, as well. Will you break it as you have before, because you are afraid, and no longer trust yourself?

No, no.

Will you abandon her, toss her aside to face her life without you, because you are afraid of the past?

Never, never.

Will you leave my child, anata, and seek your answer alone?

Oh love. Never, never, never.

Broken vows cannot be undone, anata, but redemption can be found in future promises.

Remember.

I remember...

I remember a promise. Broken, now mended.

I remember...

Will you stop loving our child, anata, because of who you are?

... never, never, never...

~*~

    Notes: This is a two person vignette, beginning with Hikari's perspective, and moving on to Kenshin's, who has an imagined conversation with Tomoe. It began as just being for Hikari, but after getting halfway through and running out of things for her to say, I decided to elaborate, and make it a parallel train of thought between the two (three?) of them.

    Miya-baasan: She doesn't exist, at least not according to the story written so far. She is basically an unknown woman whom Kenshin and Hikari encounter while traveling, most likely before meeting with the Mizuno couple. I used a new name simply because none of the others fit; I couldn't use Mitsuyo because Hikari would be too young, and none of the others suited the role. I seem to have an affection for Mi- names; I need to get the creative juices going and choose something different!

Thanks for reading.
    Akai Kitsune

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