Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin, and most of the characters related to and featuring in the following fictional stories are property of creator and master manga artist Watsuki Nobuhiro, and no copyright infringement was intended in any way in the creation of these projects. Used without permission.


Light of the Snow-Red Village
Part III - Flame of Growth: The Dream of Kenjutsu - Chapter 7

by Akai Kitsune

~*~

    "I figured you'd be leaving," Heiji let out a soft sigh, resigned, when Kenshin told him a few days later that he and Hikari would be continuing on their journey. "Good things never last, do they?"

Kenshin smiled with a shrug, his eyes — glowing amethyst and shining in the sunshine of the morning — soft and warm. "Sometimes they do." He brushed a hand through Hikari's hair, and she laughed, dancing away and then back after a moment. "Friendships can last."

An easy, familiar grin crossed the shopkeeper's face. "I hope that this one will last, Himura-san. I owe you a great deal. My family can come back home now, and for a time I'm safe from both the yakuza and Kuroi Atari. Oh, and you'll be interested to know that Shinzo-kun has accepted my invitation, and will begin working at the store in a week in exchange for his kendo lessons, provided his father's trial goes well. The arrangement was originally Hikari-chan's idea, so I suppose I owe you something else." He winked at her, and she smiled shyly.

    "Well, sensei, you better not make his lessons any easier than mine, just because he's the son of a government worker!" Hikari fingered the shinai at her back jokingly. "Otherwise when we come back, I'll have to test him out and — if I have to — show him how well I've been taught."

Heiji laughed. "I have no doubts of that, little deshi! I just hope Shinzo won't disappoint me as much as you did."

    "Disappoint?" Hikari mock-glared, drawing the shinai, and holding it to his neck. "How dare you, when you're not even armed to fight back! Mou!"

Kenshin chuckled softly, placing a gentle but firm hand on the shinai and lowering it away from Heiji's throat. "I thank you for your help. I think that I, too, learned something in our time here. It will take me a while to decide whether it was good or bad, but I'm certain that something was gained, not lost."

Heiji shrugged, giving him a knowing look. "That's rather zen-ish for you, Himura-san." Hikari laughed again, helplessly, and Kenshin seemed almost wounded. "I also hope that you have lost something... something that you don't need anymore."

Kenshin glanced down, as Hikari took his hand and squeezed. "If it's part of you," she whispered, leaning her head against his arm, "Then even if you don't need it... I do."

He smiled, despite himself. "Aa." 'And if I... if I need this part of me to protect you... I will not hesitate to let the Battousai live again.'

  '... if there is no other way...'

Heiji glanced at the both, then clapped a hand on Kenshin's shoulder. "Well, you'd best get going to the next town, as much as I hate to admit it. It might rain tonight, and I don't want you two caught outside when it hits."

Kenshin nodded agreeably. "Aa, that's true. Thank you again."

Hikari looked at her father, then her sensei, then at the sky, the sun shining bright and promising. She stomped her foot, her eyes flashing fiercely. "How do you do that?" she demanded, imploring. They both chuckled.

Heiji ruffled her hair. "Trade secret," he said solemnly, "But someday you'll learn. Just keep both eyes open — all the way — and you'll figure it out. Trust me."

She tried to keep the frown on her face, then after a moment let it melt away. "Fine. But I'll make you eat your words if I don't learn it soon!"

    "Now, now." Heiji backed off, hands held up in surrender. "There's no arguing with this girl. She's a woman, all right."

    "Say goodbye to Shinzo-kun for me," Hikari piped, her expression oddly impish. "And let him know that next time we meet, I'm gonna knock him down if he doesn't behave."

    "I'll pass that on, Hikari-chan, word for word," Heiji promised with a smirk. He met Kenshin's eyes. "Take good care of her, ne?"

  'Why do people keep telling me that?' Kenshin thought distantly. 'Can't they tell that she is all I think of?' "Always," he voiced, his eyes misted. Turning, Hikari's hand still clasped in his own as if she were still a small child, they began to make their way down the street.

Heiji waved one last time as they reached the outskirts of town, smiling broadly. "A nice pair," he said to himself, not really caring if anyone heard. "A bit too trusting, but still very nice. I hope Hikari-chan likes the gift..."

Whistling softly to himself, he returned to his store and began to compose a letter, inviting his family to return to the home where they belonged.

~*~

    "Heiji-sensei was really nice, ne tousan?"

Kenshin gave Hikari a brief nod. "He was. That's a very pleasant surprise these days."

    "I'm glad we were able to stay for a while. I learned a lot," she continued cheerfully, arms swaying in the wind. "A lot more than I usually do."

    "Aa." Kenshin sent a quick glance back, seeing that they were far out of sight from the town, then fished inside his gi, pulling out a small leather bag tied at the top. "I think this was meant to be for you."

Hikari cocked her head to one side, surprised, and took it from him. "Where'd this come from?"

Kenshin looked towards the town again. "When he touched my shoulder... he dropped it inside. He probably couldn't do that to you, because you'd notice. I think he was relying on my discretion."

She chuckled and rolled her eyes, pulling the string apart to reveal what was inside. When she saw, she let out a small gasp of happy surprise. "Oh, sensei!"

    "What is it?" Kenshin leaned closer, curious and pleased by her delight.

Hikari carefully took the object out, and showed him the tiny pocket watch, unusual symbols in the places of numbers. "Look, he gave me his... um... Roman numeral clock! See?"

Kenshin smiled, listening as she explain the significance. 'We truly are very lucky to meet such kind people...'

After she had finished admiring it, Hikari gently replaced it in the leather pouch, then put it in the larger bag that held their other belongings. "For safekeeping," she winked at him. She was rewarded with a wide smile. Suddenly, impulse struck her. "Tousan, want to practice this afternoon?"

Kenshin glanced warily at the sky. "Well... we really should hurry to the next town... but I think the storm will pass us by. If we go west," he added, looking meaningfully at her.

    "Hai!" She laughed, then pretended to appear mournful. "So much for Hokkaido!"

~*~

    "Good, that's good..." Kenshin couldn't hold back his smile as Hikari's shinai connected with the sakabatou, the hollow sound of bamboo against the echo of the iron sheath. He stayed on defense; this was a lesson, not a spar, and he was still hesitant to attack her.

  'I am too fast. Too strong. If I hurt her...'

    "Tousan, pay attention!" she called, striking to the side. He blocked, to her disappointment. Nothing new, though; he always managed to keep his sword in contact with her own. 'There's no way through his defense at all! He's too much...'

    "Not quite," he encouraged gently. "Harder. You're close..."

Hikari tossed a few more attacks in, then withdrew with a long sigh. "Tousan, let's take a break. I can only take so much."

His smile faded. "I'm sorry... was I pushing too hard? We can have as many breaks as you want... I don't mind..."

Hikari watched his concern, the waved a hand. "Daijoubu! I'm just tired."

They sat in the grass, leaning back and gazing at the setting sun in contentment.

  'This is the way life should be,' Hikari thought with another sigh. 'Freedom, to choose where to go, what to do. Live life, be with your family, love... I wouldn't trade this life for anything...'

  'Except... maybe...'

    "Ano... tousan...?"

Kenshin glanced over, curious. "Hai, ume-chan?"

Hikari twined her fingers together nervously. "Wh... where's my kaasan?"

Her father paused, then looked up to the darkening sky. "Stars?" he said, hopeful, almost wistful.

She shook her head. "Be serious, tousan. I want to know."

Kenshin sighed. 'It's hard, as so many have told me, when they grow too old for your fairy tales... when they grow old enough to want to know the truth...'

  'But still, part of me insists that it is too soon... too soon to know the truth about what I have stolen from her...'

  "It's all right... it's better this way, so please don't cry..."

    "Hikari, I won't lie to you." He sat up, head lowered, bangs covering his eyes. "Your kaasan... she is no longer living on this world."

She was silent for a moment. "I know." Softly, her reply came.

    "But, I didn't really lie to you before." Kenshin slowly raised his head, to watch the last instant of the sunset. "I believe that your kaasan is with the stars, and she is watching us. I've always hoped that... she is happy..."

He felt a hand squeeze his, and he glanced over. "I'm sure she is." Hikari smiled brightly. "I'm sure you made her very happy."

  'I wonder... did I? Did I make Tomoe happy? Truly... it wasn't until that day... in the snow... that we realized we actually had the ability to love one another. Then the war broke out of its chains, and I began to kill again... and she grew so... so sad...'

  'But on that night... the night before I left for the last battle... she seemed... she was so close to feeling true happiness...'

  "I will wait for you to come home again..."

  'That night...'

    "Tousan..." Hikari's questioning words broke through his thoughts once again. "Where is kaasan... buried?"

    "Buried?" he repeated, his face darkening. "There is a temple, on the outskirts of Kyoto, where you were born. She is there."

    "Well... I was thinking... I don't really feel like going to Hokkaido like we agreed, so..." Hikari paused again. "Can we... can we go there? To Kyoto?"

Kenshin turned away from her. "Hikari..." his voice was pained.

    "I'm sorry, tousan, but isn't that right? Wouldn't it be fair to go visit her?" Hikari's tone was gradually rising. "We never visit her, tousan, never! Why?"

  'Why? Because I have no right to see her. No right to ask her to forgive me, for what I have done to her...' "Hikari, we don't need to visit a temple to see her. She's always with us. Every time I look at you..." 'She is in you, love, your fire, your ice, your burning curiousity and chilling silence... she gave you to me, that night, and I pray each morning that I will be worthy of it someday...'

    "Demo... demo..." Hikari choked, fists clutched. "I don't have that. I don't have memories, of what she looks like, sounds like, felt like." She glanced at her hands, unclenching them. "All I have is what you've told me, and that's not much. A grave — even a cold stone grave, one with no soul, no warmth — even that is something! It's still her! Please, tousan... can't we visit her? Just once?"

  'But... the truth... do I dare? Can I tell her...?'

    "Hikari... I..." his voice broke, and he tried again. "Listen, Hikari. I... I need to tell you something. About Kyoto."

    "Kyoto?" Hikari wiped her eyes, turning back to him. "What...?"

He reached down, taking the hilt of the sakabatou and holding the sword in front of him. "After I left the Ishin Shishi, and began to live in Otsu with your mother... I thought it was over. I thought there would be peace, but... some of the government officials... they wanted security. They thought... a hitokiri, even one who has sworn never to kill again, would be a danger to the country in the future." He paused, ending with a whisper. "They sent out an order for me to be found, and killed."

Hikari gasped, covering her mouth. "Tousan...?"

Kenshin's grip on the hilt tightened, eyes clenched. "It was winter, a few months after you had been born. Your mother... she did not survive the attack." 'Lies... so much concealed truth... but... if I told you the truth, would you... could you still... oh, love...' "Katsura-san said the search had been called off by his order, but... I was afraid... I thought that if I stayed, your life would be in danger. You were just a baby, and if I died, I didn't know who could take care of you. So I fled Kyoto, to escape death." The tears threatened him, as they did only when he thought of Tomoe, and he shut his eyes tighter. "I swore I would not return. I didn't want to go back. I never wanted to return... I just wanted to protect you..."

    "Tousan..."

    "I just... wanted you safe..."

  'Safe... always...'

  'I protect you... always...'

Hikari watched, tears in her own eyes, and wrapped her arms around her father as he cried in her presence for the first time.

~*~

Many were the times I failed to follow through
Of pieces of heaven I promised you
It wasn't paradise, it wasn't even close
And I hurt the one I love the most
And sorry could never be good enough
But I will make it up to you...

~*~

    Early the next morning, Hikari rose and started a fire to combat the chill of first light. It was still near the beginning of the new year, soon approaching spring. The days were gradually growing warm, but the mornings made her shiver.

She glanced at her father and smiled, pulling another blanket over his body. She had fallen asleep beside him soon after he had drifted off. The thought made her smile again; no one else gave him enough security to fall asleep when they were nearby. 'There are many scars left from the Bakumatsu... that I can still see in him. His sleep... it's always been so fitful, so afraid. I have never seen his face serene or at peace.'

  'Is it possible?'

  'By my questions, last night... have I made it worse...'

  'Kaasan... I wanted so badly to see you... to know where you are... but I understand now. I see what I have to do.' she brushed her fingers through his red hair, matted slightly from sleep, so bright and different from her own. 'I know... I have to be to him what you were for him first.'

Strange, how their hair colour could be so contrary to who they were. Her hair, black as night, but with a very light personality.

And him, he was so dark, always dark... with such vibrant tongues of flame...

She had always loved playing with his hair. It was so soft... how a man had been blessed — or cursed — with the hair worthy of an empress, she could not answer. But that was not important, any more than the twigs thrown into the fire. Important, was what it was connected to.

The twigs transformed in fire. Worthless, changing into something essential; warm, needed.

Hair. Nothing critical. But it was part of her father, part of what she loved about him, regardless of the tangles and knots of his personality. She could ignore the burrs between the russet strands... or she could help him bring them out, throw them away.
Burrs were so ugly... black and prickly, hard to touch without getting hurt...

She withdrew and went back to the fire, sucking the tip of her finger thoughtfully, feeling the sting of a sensitive blister from their previous training. 'Maybe... maybe I can help him. I want to help him pull the burrs out, get rid of all the unwanted hurt and wounds... restore his heart until he is whole again...'

  'Kaasan... do you think I could?'

She glanced up at the sky, leaning back and curling her fingers into the chilly grass. She felt a sharp point. "Ite! N-nani-?"

She raised her hand, and a small burr lay beneath it. Her eyes widened. "Ka-kaasan? Is that-"

    "Hikari...?" Kenshin's weary voice called out, and she turned to him as he sat up. "Is something wrong?"

Hikari blinked at him for a moment, then looked back at the burr in the grass. "No... I'm fine." 'Kaasan... this is from you, isn't it? It's a sign... that I'm right... that I really do understand...' "Everything's just perfect."

Kenshin smiled gently and walked over, keeping one blanket around his body, and draping the other over her shoulders. "Keep this on; it's still very cold out. You seem cheerful this morning."

    "Hai," she nodded, warming her hands near the fire. "I... I was thinking."

    "Hm?"

She gazed into the fire, intent. "About Kyoto."

Kenshin winced inwardly. "Hikari... I..."

    "I mean, what's so special about it, anyway?" she interrupted suddenly. "Like you said, we don't need to visit my kaasan. She's still with us, right?"

    "Hikari?" his voice was stunned, confused.

    "So, I figured, let's go somewhere else. Somewhere we've never been." Hikari sent him a sideways glance, smiling. "Ever been to Tokyo?"

    "Tokyo?" Kenshin perked up, shrugging. "No, I don't believe so." 'Tomoe... she was from Edo.'

    "Let's go there," she brightened, poking the fire with a small stick. "Try our luck in the capital. Meet some new people. Part of kaasan can be in Tokyo, right?"

Kenshin smiled again, ruffling her hair. "She can be anywhere you are, ume-chan. Anywhere."

Hikari nodded, reaching down again and taking the burr into her hands, placing it into the sleeve of her gi. "Anywhere we are."

  'Tokyo... let's go to Tokyo. There, I will begin to help him the way I should have.'

  'I want my father to be free of these burdens...'

  'Free... that is what a family should be... free, anywhere...'

  'Maybe someday, we will be free to visit you, in Kyoto...'

~*~

Face to the ground to hide the fatal cut
I fight the weight, I feel you lift me up
I can't deny it burns me up inside
I fan the flames to melt away my pride
I only had a second to spare
But all the time in the world to know you're there
You are the shelter from the rain
And the rain to wash me away
I need you, I need you I need you
You're all I'm living for...

~*~

Notes: This is for all those people who asked if they would be going to Tokyo. ^_^ So, the incredibly difficult chapter comes to a close, and with it, my original work. From here on, it will be a mangling of my ideas and Watsuki-san's original series, and it will get a whole lot harder for me to write, unfortunately. Be prepared for a lot of (mis)quotes and stolen scenes... I'm beginning to despair that the rest of the series will royally suck. I really hope not.

The timeline: As I've said before, I really want to follow the normal turn of events, and that means Kenshin's arrival in Tokyo at the proper time. At the moment, it is nearing March, which is approximately when Kenshin reached Tokyo in the manga (since he had been living at the Kamiya dojo for several months when Saitou comes). Hikari is 9 years old. My proof? I've finally figured it out. ^_^
  1868: Hikari is conceived in January, just before Kenshin leaves for the Toba-Fushimi battle.
            A few months later, Kenshin and Tomoe return to Otsu.
            Hikari is born in September, 1868.
  1877: Kenshin and Hikari arrive at Gatsu's dojo in April, stay for a few months,
                then travel again for nearly a year, arriving at Heiji's town sometime in February.
            Kenshin and Hikari remained in Heiji's town for about two weeks, after which they
                travel to Tokyo and arrive in early March.

Brief, yes... somday I'll make a longer timeline, maybe, if the interest is there. I don't want to work for nothing. :P Oh, and for those who know that the Toba-Fushimi battle was brief, Kenshin had to stick around for a little while afterwards, at least until sometime in March, in order to know that the Sekihoutai were killed under false charges. He had to have known that from first-hand knowledge through actually working with the government; otherwise, everyone would know that! ^_^

The "themes" of this chapter were "Something Beautiful", and "I Need You", by Jars of Clay. Also used was Michael W. Smith's "From Here On". (Beautiful songs, by the way...)

    And since I'm in a good mood (and a few peoples were asking...) I'm going to post some omake. I think I'm either improving or getting a lot worse. I really can't tell. ^_^;;

    I Sing a Song Of...

Shinzo *wary*: Are you... all right? In control, now?
Kenshin *golden eyes gleaming*: I'm... I'm... *suddenly bursts into song* I'm so excited! And I just can't fight it! I'm about to lose control, and I think I like it!
Shinzo *blink*: For a woman's song, you do that surprisingly well.
Heiji *muttering*: That don't impress me much...
Hikari *chorusing*: Oh-oh-Oohh!

(This omake is dedicated to Fitz and her spontaneous karaoke omake, ^_^)

    Random Omake #2

Kuroi *staring in anger*: Shinzo! You betrayed me!
Shinzo: Well DUH! When do you ever do anything for me? You're never home, and you fight with Mom all the time, and... and... I want a pony, Daddy! When do I get my pony!
Kuroi: Shaddup! You never hear me whining, 'I want the country!' do you?
Shinzo *sulky*: Heiji-sensei would buy me a pony...
Kuroi: That's IT! You're so grounded!

    Random Omake #3

Kenshin: I didn't know who could take care of you. So I fled Kyoto, to escape death.
Hikaru *vehement, bashing his head with the shinai*: What do you MEAN you ran away?!
Kenshin: Oro? (ouch!) *runs away*
Hikari: Coward! Get back here! *chases him with the sakabatou*

    Random Omake #4

Kenshin *sniffling*: I just wanted to protect you... but over time, I've learned that... this world...
Hikari *slow blink*: This world...?
Kenshin: This world is made of...
Hikari *coaxing*: This world is made of...?
Kenshin *jumping up, peace sign extended*: LOVE AND PEACE!

    (I'm terribly sorry; I really couldn't resist...)

Thanks for reading. More to come...
    Akai Kitsune

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