HakuBaikou.com

Disclaimer: *whines* aw c'mon Sony and MediaBlasters, you know I don't own RK, so why do I have to say it every time! Honestly if I were that cool I'd be rich (is Watsuki-sensei rich? I hope he is...) and not applying for more education to get a job I like better than the one I have....

Ooooh so many reviews *gets starry-eyed* Thank you minna-san! I'm glad you all are having as much fun reading this as I am writing it ^_^ Sorry for the slight delay, but the Battousai/Kaoru conversation turned out to be a lot more challenging to write than I thought, I had to run it through my beta-reader twice! The first version got passed back to me with the comments "it's good, but it feels like a water cooler conversation, elaborate a bit" so I had to go at it again -_-;; I'm pretty happy with it now, though. On with the show!

Prism - Chapter 4

Kaoru stepped out into the cool night air. It had been a cold spring this year so far, with misty dawns and frigid nights that were all too reminiscent of winter's snows. The previous year she'd set out before dawn in weather like this, determined to find the killer claiming to be Battousai, unaware that in the process she would also meet the love of her life. This evening would have been the first anniversary of Kenshin arriving in Tokyo, and it was for this occasion that Tae had donated the fish. It would have been such a wonderful dinner too... Hugging herself for warmth she slowly circled the porch, scanning the grounds for any sign of Battousai. A small part of her wanted to be very angry that her perfectly planned evening had been ruined by this little mishap, but that wouldn't be fair to Kenshin. He certainly hadn't been responsible for what happened and besides, what was done was done. Of anyone, Kenshin has the most right to be upset. All we can do now is work together to solve this; I have a feeling that it's going to take all three of him. ] Hmm, I wonder where he went? Surely he didn't leave the dojo... She seriously doubted that the teenager would go wandering off, even in his current state of upset. Kenshin attached a great sense of security and safety to their home, so most likely he was still nearby. She supposed she should be afraid of seeking out a dangerous young hitokiri, but her quarry also happened to be her husband-or part of him, anyway. She refused to be afraid of him. Besides, I don't think he'd really hurt anyone. From his behavior before I'd say that under all the anger he was...scared.

Making another circuit of the dojo, Kaoru tried to imagine herself in Kenshin's place. What would her two halves be like? She supposed one would be gentle and somewhat feminine, despite an inability to cook. Maybe the other would be a shrieking, bokken-wielding tanuki, with no other desire than to chase Yahiko to the ends of the earth. She giggled at the image. Now that would be a sight...

From his vantage point Battousai watched as his wife searched for him. Choosing to ignore her for the moment, he closed his eyes and tried to calm the hot rage that still sang in his blood. He was shocked by the intensity of his feelings, so different from the tranquil state he normally existed in. He searched for the strong self-control that had served him so well during the Bakumatsu, but it eluded him, just as it had ever since the separation from his other selves. Thinking back to the disastrous conversation in the house, Kenshin tried to analyze his own feelings. Throughout most of the conversation he'd still been in too much of a state of shock to do more than sit in stoic silence, allowing the voices of the others to wash pleasantly over him as they always did. But as the minutes went by the gnawing feeling of emptiness in his soul increased to the point where he could no longer ignore it, and he felt his anger spike at the derisive tone in Sano's voice as he'd made some remark about Shinta. That had been the beginning of the end of his tenuous self-control.

Kenshin let his eyes drift open and listened as Kaoru passed for the second time beneath his hiding spot. He should have known she would come to look for him, she was his Kaoru after all, and he knew he would have to answer for his earlier behavior. What do I tell her? He still wasn't entirely sure what had caused his angry outburst at the rurouni. All he really knew was that one moment he had been correcting Sano, the next the rurouni had made another of his inane remarks and he had just lost it. Stress...it must have been the stress of everything that caused my control to slip like that. And yet, justified as he felt his anger had been (if the rurouni hadn't been such a trusting idiot and had listened to his-no their instincts-they could have avoided this completely) it was that same rage that had spawned another emotion he wasn't used to feeling: fear. He knew fear of course, it certainly wasn't an alien emotion, but it wasn't one he generally had any use for. Fear clouded his senses and hampered his judgment. Fear was an enemy as powerful as any swordsman, and potentially lethal. I hate this, all of this. Kenshin drew his knees to his chest and hugged his legs, drawing from the pose what little comfort he could. Separated from himself he felt very, very alone. Right now, that was the only thing he was certain of. Until he could be sure of something, anything else, he didn't feel comfortable being around the others. More than anything, he just wanted to be left alone.

There was a tiny, almost imperceptible sound from above her and Kaoru paused in midstep, listening hard. She was standing next to the bathhouse and as she let her gaze pan upward she spotted a small figure crouched on the roof the building. It was an overcast night but the clouds were thin and the little moonlight there was reflected in a pair of amber eyes, making them appear to glow slightly in the darkness. It also revealed the hard set of Kenshin's jaw, the only sign of tension in an otherwise impassive face. It was an unnerving image, and Kaoru was reminded uncomfortably of a hunting cat crouched in the shadows, waiting with infinite patience for its prey to come within range. Of course, the roof. Kenshin likes to hide up there when he wants to be alone. She was sure he was aware of her presence but he didn't acknowledge it; instead he stared blankly out over the dojo gates. She had no idea what he could possibly be thinking about. So now that I've found him, what exactly do I say?

Backing up slowly, she made sure she was in plain view of him before speaking. "Kenshin, what are you doing up there?"

Slowly he dropped his head until he was looking into her eyes. She could see the annoyed gleam in them, obviously irritated that she'd interrupted whatever it was he'd been brooding about. Kaoru scowled back. "Don't look at me like that, Kenshin. Now come down here so we can talk about this."

For a moment he didn't answer. When he did speak, Kaoru was surprised by his gentle tone. "You've been out here for awhile, if you don't go back in the rurouni will come looking for you."

"Let him look," Kaoru said firmly, refusing to be dissuaded. "It's you I'm worried about. Now please come down."

"I'd rather not. If you have something to say, then say it, but I'd prefer if you just left me alone for now, please." Battousai mentally winced at the harshness of his own words. Normally he would never speak to Kaoru in such a manner, but from the moment she'd opened her mouth he'd felt his temper start to flare again, barely within his control. What on earth is wrong with me?

Kaoru made a small squeak of surprise when Battousai suddenly appeared right in front of her, their noses almost touching. I didn't even see him move! "Why are you doing this, Kaoru?"

Battousai's narrow-eyed glare, full of warning, was formidable and for a moment Kaoru felt her resolve waver. But her hesitation lasted only an instant before she felt her own temper rise. How dare he look at me like that! Willing her startled heartbeat to slow down, she met his gaze without fear and not a little anger. "Why do you think? I don't understand what's going on here, especially with you."

"That makes two of us," he snapped coldly, eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. Kaoru suddenly got the distinct impression that he was trying to scare her off with his fearsome front. Surprised and more than a little hurt that he'd try to push her away, she did the only thing she could think of: respond in kind.

"Look, I know this situation must be hard for you, but that does not excuse you being so nasty and rude to the rest of our family, and that includes yourself. The rurouni was not responsible for this! And if you think you can get away with giving me a rotten attitude, think again. Now back up a bit, please."

For a moment they stood with gazes locked, and Kaoru could almost feel Battousai judging her, assessing her potential threat with cold eyes. It was a battle Kaoru half expected to lose; after all, this was the Hitokiri Battousai she was facing. She was surprised then when the hitokiri complied, stepping back so she could see all of him. His expression was unreadable, but as she continued to stare at him his eyes softened and for a moment he almost looked...apologetic.

Kaoru sighed in exasperation. "What is bothering you so much? I'm not leaving until you tell me. It's not like you to lose your temper, or get into screaming matches with people."

Kaoru sensed that he wasn't being entirely truthful, but she didn't miss the note of distress in his voice. "Are you sure?" He shook his head slowly, brows drawn together in a puzzled frown. She waited for him to continue, but he remained silent.

Stubborn as ever. "Kenshin, please don't close yourself off to me. I want to help, and if that means understanding how the rurouni and Battousai think-"

"Don't!" The teenager turned sharply away from her, eyes shadowed by thick red bangs. "Don't call me that. I hate that name."

"I'm sorry," she murmured, and she was. Kenshin strongly disliked the nickname he'd earned during the Bakumatsu; she'd known that for a long time now. "But I want you to know that we're here for you to talk to. Besides, tomorrow we must figure out what we're going to do, and you need to be involved."

There was no answer. His stiff, tense posture however spoke volumes: their conversation was at an end. Admitting defeat for the night, Kaoru sighed and stepped back up onto the porch. She was confused and saddened by Battousai's coldness to her. She knew Kenshin loved her; after everything they'd been through together and everything he had ever said or done for her, she couldn't doubt it. Right? She cast a worried glance at Battousai's turned back. Was there still a part of Kenshin that didn't love her? No, that's ridiculous, how could I think such a thing? And yet the seed of doubt was there, had always been there. It used to be the little seed had been the fear that Kenshin couldn't love her because of Tomoe, but she knew better now. She pondered this new idea. This Kenshin, this hitokiri who seemed so cold and full of anger...was he a part of Kenshin that couldn't love anyone? Her Kenshin was such a compassionate and loving man; even knowing what he had been, it was difficult for her to imagine him as unfeeling or uncaring. She swallowed the urge to walk over to Battousai and demand more answers. His stubbornness was legendary, and she could tell that he definitely wasn't in a mood to talk. She would have to wait and hope that he wouldn't be so cold later. She slid the nearest shoji open. "Kaoru."

Surprised to hear him speak, she glanced back at him. "Yes?" She was even more surprised by his answer.

The rurouni sat in the darkness watching Shinta sleep. The tiny boy had fallen asleep as soon as he'd lain down on the futon, completely exhausted by the night's events. Kenshin wanted nothing more than to join him, but worry for Kaoru kept him awake. She'd said she'd be there in a moment, but he'd heard her go out onto the porch and it had now been over half an hour. He suspected she'd gone to talk to Battousai, and that was really the only thing that kept him rooted to his futon. Shinta had made him promise he'd leave the teenager be for the night, and he didn't feel like getting into another argument with the willful young hitokiri. He already felt horrible enough for putting his friends through such stress. Damn that Yanagi. What was the real reason for this, was it something I said or did back in Hokkaido that I don't remember? It was a long time ago... He searched his memory but couldn't remember any reason why Yanagi would have become his enemy. While it was true they had never liked each other, they'd never really had a rivalry like his score with Saitou, or shared in a tragic incident like he and Enishi. I even saved his life! I just don't understand... He felt his eyelids growing heavy and it was only reluctantly that he curled up beside Shinta on the futon. He's so small, just like I used to be...but he is me. So, so odd... It was on that stray thought that Kenshin finally fell asleep.

Scant moments later Kaoru arrived to find the other two halves of her husband cuddled side by side on their futon. Oh...they're cute! For a moment she stood in the doorframe and watched them. It was eerie how much they looked like father and son. A child, I wonder if we'll have one? Maybe a little boy like Shinta. She smiled blissfully at the thought and quietly changed for bed. Tucking herself in beside the rurouni, with Shinta out of sight, she could almost pretend that things were normal, that the evening's events had never taken place. I swear to you Kenshin, I will find a way to fix this. No matter what it takes...

On the roof of the bathhouse Battousai did not sleep, instead choosing to keep watch over the dojo grounds. He reveled in the peaceful quiet of the night, where he could put his thoughts and feelings in order uninterrupted. The clouds parted briefly and he stared up at the moon, his thoughts far away.

Akari finished arranging their hotel room and stood back to survey her handiwork, absently blowing a stray lock of hair out of her face. She nodded to herself in satisfaction. Their clothes had been put away, the drawers dusted and the floor picked up. She'd woken this morning, their fifth day in Tokyo, to a complete disaster of a room. Yanagi was a hopeless slob and had the irritating habit of tearing apart every single drawer in his search for clothes, leaving a scattered mess behind for his wife to clean. She'd long ago given up on training him to pick up after himself; she had run out of punishments to try and every time she tried to argue she would find herself powerless to reason with him. There were times when she could swear he had some sort of mind control on her...but that was ridiculous. No one could control someone else's thoughts, that was just fantasy. So she picked up after him every day while she waited for him to return. Hmph, just like a dutiful little Japanese wife should. I can't believe my mother bought into that crap.

Sighing, she sat down on the tall Western-style bed and glared at the clock. It was nearly six in the evening, the time he usually returned from his business meetings. Akari had to admit to herself that she wasn't entirely what sure what Yanagi did for a living. She knew he had learned passable French and English and that he dealt often with foreign traders, which kept them moving from port to port. Aside from that though, she had no idea. She tapped her foot impatiently for a moment, then picked her foot up to readjust the tight-fitting tabi on her feet. This is so pathetic, how many days does he expect me to do this? That's it; I'm getting him to take me out somewhere nice. I think I've earned it with all this boredom I've had to endure. The last several months had been spent in a nice apartment in Osaka's Western quarters (so he could be "closer to the foreigners") and she'd rather enjoyed the seaside city, with all its attractions and variety of people. She wondered if they would be staying for a while in Tokyo, she'd heard so much about the city's theatres and festivals and had actually been excited when Yanagi had told her they were leaving Osaka to visit on business. Well, one thing's for sure, no matter how many times we move, it sure beats living in Hokkaido.

There was a light knock on the door and she hurried to answer it. She was surprised by her husband's appearance when she opened the door; he was pale and haggard and was breathing hard, as if he'd been running. "Yanagi, what's wrong with you?"

He shook his head and stumbled past her, throwing the folded black yukata he'd been carrying onto the bed and discarding his Western-style suit in pieces, tossing the sweaty garments messily onto the floor.

Akari mentally counted to ten before kneeling to help him with his shoes. "Anata, I know you don't run for a living. Were you in that much of a hurry to get back here by six? I'm honored if you did."

He sighed heavily. "Akari, I'd love to banter with you but I really don't have the energy for it, so go light on the sarcasm, okay?"

"I gather from that I'm not going to have any explanations. If that's the case the least you could do is pick up your clothes since I just spent all day picking up your mess from this morning!" He leveled a glare at her, which she returned in full.

"I'm bored Yanagi!" she seethed as she helped undo the complicated tie around his neck. "This is the fifth day I've had nothing to do but sit here and play with my socks! You don't leave me any money so I can't go sightsee, and you still haven't taken me out like you said you would before we left Osaka. All that topped by your sloppy clothing habits tends to make me a little edgy, all right?"

He frowned slightly but said nothing, reclining back on the puffy pillows. He looked at her expectantly but she remained standing, her hands on her hips and a stubborn set to her jaw. "Yanagi, I want to go out."

"No, when I'm eighty! What do you think, here I am all dressed-" She lifted her arms and waved the long flower-covered sleeves of her kimono at him-"with nowhere to go! Do you have any notion how depressing that is for a woman?"

Yanagi managed a small smile. The ki technique he'd used on Himura had taken a lot more out of him than he'd thought, and he'd really had to hussle to get changed and back to the hotel in time to keep Akari from noticing anything. Not that it really worked. I married her for a reason, the clever girl. "Akari-chan, I'd love to take you out tonight, but I'm exhausted. Really, you have no idea the kind of day I've had."

"So tell me then." She came over to sit by his head, leaning over him until he could see nothing but her deep brown eyes. "I really would like to know what it is you do all day while I sit here. Alone."

He sighed irritably. "Damn it, woman, do you ever give that one-track mind a break? I can't do anything about that right now."

"I thought you weren't in a mood to banter," she purred in his ear, at the same time keeping the rest of her body tantalizingly out of reach. "We could always stay in this city, like we did in Osaka. Then I could get out, see the sights a little."

Oh he so wanted to use his ki control on her and suppress her will to argue, but he was far too tired. Besides, a small voice in his head reasoned, she does have a point. Several, in fact. She's your wife; you need to keep her happy. You know all the reasons why. "I can't promise that, but I can give you some money to shop tomorrow, how's that?"

"Will you come with me?" she asked hopefully. He really was very pale and tired-looking, she suspected he wouldn't be much fun even if she did convince him to go out tonight. She would have to settle for another night, though Yanagi was one of the few men she'd known in her life who actually liked shopping with a woman. It would be fun to go with him.

Part of Yanagi wanted to say yes to her offer. He hadn't seen much of her lately, and he knew she was feeling neglected. But he needed to check on Himura tomorrow, and she couldn't be anywhere nearby when he did that. There was the risk of discovery, and also that she would figure out his manipulative little hobby, which she would definitely disapprove of. "I'm sorry, koishii," he murmured, genuinely disappointed. "But I just can't. I have a very important meeting with one of the French companies in the morning."

He raised an eyebrow. "The French enjoy their food and wine. Unfortunately meetings with them turn out to be an all-day affair."

She couldn't help but laugh a little at that. "Well, if you enjoy cheese that much I guess I should settle for a compromise. But tomorrow night we are going out. Together. Someplace nice. Understood?"

Yanagi stared into her fierce brown eyes and knew the argument, such as it was, was lost. "Understood. Now, do you really want to stay in that hot kimono, or would you like to help me relax?"

She cuffed him lightly on the head. "Baka, I haven't even eaten dinner yet! Have a little heart!"

Rolling his eyes he got off the bed. "Okay, there's a yakisoba stand on the corner. Will that do for now?"

Pulling on his yukata and slipping on a pair of sandals, Yanagi left the hotel arm-and-arm with his wife, chatting with her as if nothing were amiss.

As if he hadn't almost casually thrown another man's life-and soul-into absolute chaos.