Kendo no Go
In the Language of Kendo:
A Fanfic in 100 Chapters
by Akai Kitsune
19: Orders
~*~
"Do this tonight."
A nod. Constant, calm, unquestioning loyalty and obedience.
'How on earth did I do it so long?'
When his friends actually allowed him to sit and brood about his past,
Kenshin found himself wondering why he had trusted his commanders so easily. A
single, neatly worded phrase, an envelope, the colour of ebony, slipped
surreptitiously into the sleeve of his gi, sent him on his way that night, his
katana dripping blood before morning.
So easy, it had seemed.
'I never asked, did I? Not once, for five years.'
'Not once.'
'Not until... until...'
"You've entrusted the decision to others, whom you follow
regardless of how you may feel."
Tomoe's constant questioning of his actions had, for the first time since
becoming the hitokiri, made him reconsider the truth about what duty really was.
Who he really was.
"I'm just a hitokiri who brings the bloody rain."
And how often, as a child, had he wished for the rains to come and wash away
his suffering, the suffering of his loved ones? How many times did he turn his
eyes - wide and violet, yet empty of the innocence a child ought to have
contained - to the empty, pale skies and wish for the clouds to roll about him
and cry, even once?
If only to hide his own tears...
And when the rains came, bringing death, not the life he so desperately
wanted, the clouds were dark and crimson.
"You are the one who makes the bloody rain fall."
"I'm only doing as ordered."
"Do this tonight."
Your wish is my command.
"Kenshin, can you please go into town and pick up some
tofu?"
"Aa, Kaoru-dono."
"Kenshin, are you going to cook dinner tonight?"
"Aa."
"Kenshin, make sure the laundry is done by the time I get
home, ne?"
"Aa."
"Kenshin, has the engawa been swept yet?"
"Aa."
"Kenshin, am I making you do too much?"
"Ah... iie, Kaoru-dono, I'm fine."
It was, it seemed to Kaoru, that very moment, when she finally realized at
least one reason why Kenshin insisted on adding the honourific to her name.
-dono: 1. Miss or ma'am, in an archaic manner. 2. A
respectful, yet archaic fashion in which a servant addresses his master.
Was she expecting too much from him?
I'm fine, Kaoru-dono.
Was she pushing him too hard?
It's all right, Kaoru-dono.
Did she force all the chores on him?
I can do more, Kaoru-dono.
Did she take advantage of him?
I'd be happy to help you, Kaoru-dono.
'No wonder we're not married yet. He treats me like the mistress of
the house, because I send him around like my servant...'
'... am I really that bad?'
It wasn't as if she did nothing. It was her house,
after all; she knew how to take care of it, and she had been doing so for years
before Kenshin had wandered into her life. But... he did things so much
better.
'What would I rather eat, his cooking or my own?'
'Should I be doing the laundry, or teaching at other dojos to earn
income?'
'So many hard decisions... but in the end, it all comes down to
Kenshin, doesn't it...'
'... When did I become so dependent on him?'
And he had certainly asked his fair share of questions, during their time
together. But always questions; he had never really told her to do anything,
even in the form of an inquiry.
"What's wrong, Kaoru-dono?"
"Are you all right?"
"Is it not good?"
"Did you sleep well?"
"Will you marry me, koishii?"
All right. So maybe he had caught her off guard now and then. She had come to
look forward to his questions, his quiet, gentle concerns for her welfare.
Perhaps, she gradually began to realize, that was his manner of caring for her,
his way of showing her that yes, she meant something to him, moreso than a
master ought to be.
And yes, she did love him in return, and yes, he did recognize that, and yes,
he would love to get the tofu for her, today, everyday, anyday, koishii.
~*~
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