Kendo no Go
In the Language of Kendo:
A Fanfic in 100 Chapters
by Akai Kitsune
26: Hope
~*~
After Kenshin's proposal to her, Kaoru's days were
generally spent daydreaming about what their future would be like. Oh certainly,
she knew that he would be a wonderful husband - despite how much of a failure he
felt he had been in his last marriage - and they had done all right living
together without being married, but there were many concerns and fears that came
with this new love and duty.
'What if I'm no good as a wife?'
'What if I can't really make him happy?'
'... what if... what if he changes his mind?'
A part of her scolded her sharply for even considering such thoughts. It had
taken Kenshin so long to propose to her in the first place; last minute
reconsiderations were not in his nature. Once he made a decision, he followed
through. It was part of who he was.
So, after much consideration, she wondered at what he worried about, instead.
'Does he think of me as a woman, or as a child that needs his
protection no matter what?'
'Does he love me, or pity me?'
'Does he ever worry about what sort of husband he'll be?'
Of course he does, that same voice in her mind gently reprimanded her
ignorance. He is the one who killed his last -his first - wife, after all.
He's bound to have doubts, worries, fears.
'But it wasn't his fault.'
And has he ever acknowledged that fact?
'Of course not.'
She was constantly frustrated by his inability to give less and accept more.
She knew he would give up his life if he thought it was worth something... and
if it would help someone else in a way of which he approved. He would never take
more than the bare necessities of what living required of him.
'Don't you need love to live, Kenshin?'
'Don't you need a family to go on?'
'Don't you have a reason for living?'
A will to live; that was the secret of the Hiten Mitsurugi ougi, Hiko had
told her. Someone with a strong will to live can escape death, Megumi also said.
"It depends on my heart."
What did his heart say of her?
'I hope...'
'I truly hope it speaks of love, Kenshin... the kind of love I feel
for you. The kind that makes me want to live, to live forever, as long as you
live, just because you're living.'
'The kind of love that gives me a will to carry on.'
'I hope...'
'In our life together... this live that we made, that you offered
to me when you asked me to start anew at your side... I hope... we'll always
feel this love.'
'And we'll be happy, won't we?'
'... we'll always be happy...'
~*~
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