Kendo no Go
In the Language of Kendo:
A Fanfic in 100 Chapters
by Akai Kitsune
30: Shoji
~*~
Rain hardens the ground.
Kaoru remembered such helpful, warning proverbs, spoken
repeatedly by her mother during her brief, impulsive bouts of
thoughtfulness. She often thought back on the wisdom of those
words, echoing her life in so many ways.
Even pockmarks are dimples.
She hadn't seen, during all that time, all those months when
Kenshin was staying with her, how much she had needed him. How
much they had needed each other.
The eyes speak as much as the mouth.
Kenshin's gaze, whether soft violet or angry gold, had always
been gentle and full of love when he looked directly at her,
capturing instantly her attention... but more importantly, her
heart.
Meeting is the beginning of parting.
The slide of the dojo door when Kenshin first agreed to stay
with her was the most wonderful thing she had felt in a long
time. And, in contrast, the soft sound of his sandals as he
turned away and vanished into the darkness on the road to Kyoto
was most devastating. She knew, at that moment, that sayonara
really meant forever.
Hell and Heaven are in the hearts of men.
Her Kenshin... an angel sent to rescue her from loneliness, or
the demon he made himself out to be? She often wished he could
knock such foolish concepts out of his silly rurouni head,
although she knew it would do her no good.
The walls have ears, the shoji have eyes.
The world was always watching, she realized after living with
Kenshin for so long. No matter who you are, where you are; if you
have a name, a reputation of some consequence or importance,
someone is bound to follow you. She knew that, if given the
choice, Kenshin would discard the name Hitokiri Battousai from
the extensive memory of history forever, but it was rare that
anyone even remotely cared about his wants, his needs. He was
simply an obstacle - albeit a challenging one - to destroy in the
path towards the title of the strongest.
One step closer to the goal of being the
ultimate fighter. One man closer to the true immortality of being
remembered.
One death away from becoming the greatest manslayer.
Kaoru wanted to take every single challenger by the neck and
give them a good shake until they left Kenshin alone.
'Anything. I'd do anything if they would just...'
'... just leave him in peace...'
Sometimes she argued with him about it. She knew he wanted to
live a more peaceful life, she knew it in the very core of
her being, but he never truly admitted it. He would smile at her,
that silly, disarming smile that made her wish she didn't have to
argue with him, made her wish that the entire world would take a
hint and leave them alone so she had no reason to, and tell her
that it was all right, he didn't care either way, and that no
amount of wishing would make his enemies disappear.
Sometimes she wondered if their neighbours could hear their
arguments, her tears and his quiet consolation. She wondered if
they moved on to tell other neighbours, who eventually might pass
the information on to those who want him dead in the first place.
Which only caused more arguments, and then...
... it made her dizzy to think of it.
'After all... the walls have ears, but only people
have mouths to tell others the secrets they know.'
The thin shoji of the house certainly did
nothing for the high-pitched volume of their son, Kaoru often
mused, when the infant's cries caught her attention. There were
many changes in the household after Kenji's birth, from sleeping
habits to the family budget, but the part of it she most loved
was watching him with Kenshin. The two of them looked terribly
sweet together; two nearly identical faces that - when sleeping -
were the perfect image of innocence and bliss that made her feel
as if everything was right in the world, even if it was not, even
if Kenji would wake up in a moment and start wailing, which would
snap Kenshin out of his own rest, his hair clutched in his son's
tiny fists.
His birth, she liked to think, was almost like a turning point
for Kenshin's transition from wanderer to family man, even more
so than their wedding, despite how she might frown at the
thought. Having a son tied Kenshin to her closer than any vow,
however strong their feelings were. In the eyes of the world,
when Kenji was conceived, she was his. He was hers.
When Kenji was two years old, Kenshin spoke with her one day
about his future. It was no particularly special day, when he
pulled her aside after Yahiko had carried Kenji out of the dojo
on his shoulders for a visit to the river. Late summer, she
recalled, sometime in August.
"It is a week until Yahiko's
birthday," he murmured seriously into her ear, and she
blinked back surprise; it had completely passed her mind. "I
have something special planned... but... would it be all right
with you, koishii?"
And then he told her. Thinking back, she was most
astonishingly calm when he explained. It should have been
expected - Yahiko had been hoping for a similar occurrence for
years, saving up diligently despite the fact that no swordsmith
could do what he wished for most - but the idea that Kenshin had
finally resolved - even agreed - to grant his wish was almost...
inconceivable to her.
The thought of Kenshin - Kenshin - without his sword
was just something that didn't happen. Certainly, he had been
relaxing in his sword training since their marriage, and he had
not been involved in any major fights since Enishi's Jinchuu
attempt, but he still had the sakabatou with him. It rested in
the dojo shrine next to her father's daisho, ready for whatever
his plans for it were.
However, it seemed as if his plans were not his at all.
As Yahiko left the dojo on the morning of his fifteenth
birthday, the sakabatou clenched tightly in his hand, a wide,
determined grin on his face, Kaoru couldn't help but think that,
perhaps, it was exactly what Kenshin needed. A release from his
past, a final farewell to all he knew when he wandered the
country, alone and without the answers he sought for so long.
"So you're leaving the Shishi, Himura?"
Meeting is the beginning of parting.
"I'm more happy than sad, so..."
'... sayonara...'
~*~
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