NOT MINE! *huff*
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None.
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Kendo no Go
In the Language of Kendo:
A Fanfic in 100 Chapters


by Akai Kitsune

30: Shoji

 

~*~

Rain hardens the ground.

Kaoru remembered such helpful, warning proverbs, spoken repeatedly by her mother during her brief, impulsive bouts of thoughtfulness. She often thought back on the wisdom of those words, echoing her life in so many ways.

Even pockmarks are dimples.

She hadn't seen, during all that time, all those months when Kenshin was staying with her, how much she had needed him. How much they had needed each other.

The eyes speak as much as the mouth.

Kenshin's gaze, whether soft violet or angry gold, had always been gentle and full of love when he looked directly at her, capturing instantly her attention... but more importantly, her heart.

Meeting is the beginning of parting.

The slide of the dojo door when Kenshin first agreed to stay with her was the most wonderful thing she had felt in a long time. And, in contrast, the soft sound of his sandals as he turned away and vanished into the darkness on the road to Kyoto was most devastating. She knew, at that moment, that sayonara really meant forever.

Hell and Heaven are in the hearts of men.

Her Kenshin... an angel sent to rescue her from loneliness, or the demon he made himself out to be? She often wished he could knock such foolish concepts out of his silly rurouni head, although she knew it would do her no good.

The walls have ears, the shoji have eyes.

The world was always watching, she realized after living with Kenshin for so long. No matter who you are, where you are; if you have a name, a reputation of some consequence or importance, someone is bound to follow you. She knew that, if given the choice, Kenshin would discard the name Hitokiri Battousai from the extensive memory of history forever, but it was rare that anyone even remotely cared about his wants, his needs. He was simply an obstacle - albeit a challenging one - to destroy in the path towards the title of the strongest.


One step closer to the goal of being the ultimate fighter. One man closer to the true immortality of being remembered.

One death away from becoming the greatest manslayer.

Kaoru wanted to take every single challenger by the neck and give them a good shake until they left Kenshin alone.

'Anything. I'd do anything if they would just...'

'... just leave him in peace...'

Sometimes she argued with him about it. She knew he wanted to live a more peaceful life, she knew it in the very core of her being, but he never truly admitted it. He would smile at her, that silly, disarming smile that made her wish she didn't have to argue with him, made her wish that the entire world would take a hint and leave them alone so she had no reason to, and tell her that it was all right, he didn't care either way, and that no amount of wishing would make his enemies disappear.

Sometimes she wondered if their neighbours could hear their arguments, her tears and his quiet consolation. She wondered if they moved on to tell other neighbours, who eventually might pass the information on to those who want him dead in the first place.

Which only caused more arguments, and then...

... it made her dizzy to think of it.

'After all... the walls have ears, but only people have mouths to tell others the secrets they know.'


The thin shoji of the house certainly did nothing for the high-pitched volume of their son, Kaoru often mused, when the infant's cries caught her attention. There were many changes in the household after Kenji's birth, from sleeping habits to the family budget, but the part of it she most loved was watching him with Kenshin. The two of them looked terribly sweet together; two nearly identical faces that - when sleeping - were the perfect image of innocence and bliss that made her feel as if everything was right in the world, even if it was not, even if Kenji would wake up in a moment and start wailing, which would snap Kenshin out of his own rest, his hair clutched in his son's tiny fists.

His birth, she liked to think, was almost like a turning point for Kenshin's transition from wanderer to family man, even more so than their wedding, despite how she might frown at the thought. Having a son tied Kenshin to her closer than any vow, however strong their feelings were. In the eyes of the world, when Kenji was conceived, she was his. He was hers.

When Kenji was two years old, Kenshin spoke with her one day about his future. It was no particularly special day, when he pulled her aside after Yahiko had carried Kenji out of the dojo on his shoulders for a visit to the river. Late summer, she recalled, sometime in August.

"It is a week until Yahiko's birthday," he murmured seriously into her ear, and she blinked back surprise; it had completely passed her mind. "I have something special planned... but... would it be all right with you, koishii?"

And then he told her. Thinking back, she was most astonishingly calm when he explained. It should have been expected - Yahiko had been hoping for a similar occurrence for years, saving up diligently despite the fact that no swordsmith could do what he wished for most - but the idea that Kenshin had finally resolved - even agreed - to grant his wish was almost... inconceivable to her.

The thought of Kenshin - Kenshin - without his sword was just something that didn't happen. Certainly, he had been relaxing in his sword training since their marriage, and he had not been involved in any major fights since Enishi's Jinchuu attempt, but he still had the sakabatou with him. It rested in the dojo shrine next to her father's daisho, ready for whatever his plans for it were.

However, it seemed as if his plans were not his at all.

As Yahiko left the dojo on the morning of his fifteenth birthday, the sakabatou clenched tightly in his hand, a wide, determined grin on his face, Kaoru couldn't help but think that, perhaps, it was exactly what Kenshin needed. A release from his past, a final farewell to all he knew when he wandered the country, alone and without the answers he sought for so long.

"So you're leaving the Shishi, Himura?"

Meeting is the beginning of parting.

"I'm more happy than sad, so..."

'... sayonara...'

~*~

I've just realized that it is next to impossible to write a melancholy/expressive fanfic while listening to Jeff Foxworthy. ^_^;;

This chapter was HARD! I had very little source material to go on... it took a great deal of thinking, but when I finally got it started, I was so relieved... *sigh*

The kotowaza (Japanese proverbs) were translated by Mir-san (as far as I know; they come from TFME, anyway) for the use of the TFME Winter Fanfic Contest. I thought they were very cool. and were quite inspirational for Kaoru's little musings, so just FYI, that's where they came from! ^_^

The original title for this chapter was "Window".
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