Kendo no Go
In the Language of Kendo:
A Fanfic in 100 Chapters
by Akai Kitsune
98: Photograph
~*~
Kaoru had
many prized possessions, and though most were of little material value, she
held them close to her heart and treasured them when others might throw them
away.
One such treasure was the
photograph of her family - that is, herself and her three borders - taken as a
victory prize after an adventurous train ride to Yokohama. She often looked
fondly at it, fingering the slowly degrading edges, which always seemed to
tear no matter how careful she was. It was old and colourless, but she could
still remember a great deal about that day: the sun's warmth on her bright
cotton kimono, despite how dusty the fight on the train had made it; the
wetness of Kenshin's old red gi, from his tumble into the water, and the musky
scent of wood, sweat, and horses; Sano's horrified expression, both from the
train and the "soul-stealing" invention; Yahiko's cocky, careless grin, one
hand confidently resting on his hip after a hard-won victory.
'It seems so far
away sometimes,' she thought, musing over the old feeling of a close
family, a sense of togetherness that was somehow missing. Certainly she
was happy as she was now, with new additions and changes she had wanted for a
long time, but not all was well.
Thinking this, she liked to
place the old photograph with a newer, cleaner family photograph, taken
shortly after the birth of her son - only after she had gotten most of her
figure back, she had said quite vehemently. In the photo, Kenshin stood in the
center with his arm around her waist, Kenji dozing in her arms. On Kenshin's
side, Yahiko stood with Tsubame smiling demurely in front of him. Megumi
beamed happily on Kaoru's left, Tae standing beside her. All seemed focused
not only on the camera, but on the little family standing amongst them,
cradling the new addition with a brilliant, radiating love. Kaoru could see it
in her eyes, and Kenshin's; months after his birth, Kenji was still a wonder
and a new miracle to them.
'If only Sanosuke
had been there,' she thought sadly to herself, sensing more than seeing
the tiniest flicker of remorse and unhappiness in the eyes of her husband.
Since Sanosuke's disappearance, he had grown more reserved and quiet, as if he
truly lost having someone to confide in, even though they were married fairly
soon afterwards. She could understand, a little.
'We both lost a
friend that day... but Megumi-san has always been nearby...'
'Sanosuke...'
Sometimes she gazed at the
photos together, side by side, imagining the family melded together, as one,
like it should be. She and Kenshin together, with Kenji, Yahiko and Tsubame
someday married off like they ought...
'Maybe even
Sanosuke and Megumi, as well,' she smiled slyly, imagining the outraged
blush that would appear on their faces if she told them that.
Everyone
had some treasure, some possession they couldn't seem to let go. Kenshin, she
knew, was forever tied to his sakabatou - even after her supposed death, when
he had thrown away his life and prepared himself for the inevitable end to his
suffering, he could not bring himself to let go of his sword.
Sanosuke tied his old ideals
and memories of the Sekihoutai around his mind like the dusty bandanna he
wore, no matter how dirt-encrusted and torn it became.
Yahiko carried his shinai
everywhere when he was younger, so determined to excel in his studies of
kenjutsu that the very idea of being weaponless was intolerable. Very much
like the older swordsman he idolizes, she often mused.
But eventually, in the end,
anything could be lost from the world, she knew. Pictures could be burned, or
could fade with age; swords and shinai could be broken; bandannas and ideals
could disappear with the men they were attached to.
'If you hold onto
them too tightly, they'll just slip through your grasp...'
Maybe, though, some things
could be leashed, to restrain them from the grasping tendrils of the wider
world, the ever-consuming mass of lost treasures, lost ideals, lost dreams.
Maybe not everything was temporary, mortal and brief as a breath of air, a
faint heartbeat, a human lifetime.
'This love I have
for my family...'
'... my whole
family... all of them, together...'
'I'll never let it
go...'
~*~
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