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Standard Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin characters are the property of creator Nobohiro Watsuki, Shueisha, Shounen Jump, and Sony Entertainment.

Light of the Snow-Red Village
Part I - Love's Advent: The Bakumatsu and Beyond - Chapter 4

The officials sitting with Katsura Kogoro ignored his uncharacteristic outburst patiently. "Calm down, Katsura-san. The hitokiri had to be eliminated in order to continue the peace. Shishio Makoto has been dealt with; Himura Battousai should no longer be a problem either."

Katsura's voice was surprisingly tight with anger. "Himura was never a problem to begin with."

"Katsura-san, all hitokiri are bloodthirsty." one of the men grumbled. "The sooner they're dead, the better off the Meiji government will be. Japan doesn't need their kind anymore."

"The war isn't over, don't forget that." Katsura replied tensely. "If someone decides to rise against the newly established government while it is in its current condition, and we've destroyed all the strongest warriors, how will we protect what we have worked so hard to accomplish? This wasn't our goal!"

"We will be stronger without the help of those bloody monsters." the others agreed bitterly.
Katsura watched them argue for a few moments, then stood and headed for the door. "I'm going to stop this madness. Himura is a man who has done much for the movement, and I will not allow his death for the cowardly reasons you have given me today."

"You're probably too late, Katsura-san." someone called after him. "Three skilled samurai have been sent to his cottage in Otsu. He's dead."

"You have underestimated the Mitsurugi school very badly." Katsura muttered. Then, he was gone.

'I pray I am not too late. Himura... Tomoe... I have caused you both great pain, and I do not wish for it to continue...'

Kenshin knelt by her body, washed and dressed in a clean yukata, the blood no longer covering her smooth, pale skin. His own body, wounded and untreated, ached, but he ignored it. His eyes remained on her dead, slack face, and the curious face of the child nestled in the crook of one arm. His sakabatou, unused and newly-made, lay at his side.

With his other hand, he stroked her cheek tenderly. "Tomoe... how did this happen? How could this be better? I should have died... I would have gladly died, if it was to protect you..."

"After all I've done... why didn't you hate me? Why did you save me? A man such as I... should have died..."

"You've endured such pain... but... now it's over for you... and from now on, I will bear your pain as well as mine. I'll find a way of repentance... I'll atone for what I have done... for killing you, and so many others... it's not going to be easy, but... I'm not looking for an easy path... I don't deserve it..."

"But... it will be all right... I'll always think of you... and..." he focused on the tiny, sleeping child snuggled against his body. "I will have a little piece of us... together... always close to my heart..."

'My memories... and this child of ours... I will treasure and protect them forever...'

'I will always remember what you have done for me... how you have warmed my heart, made me human... given me someone to love and protect with all of my soul...'

'I cannot stay here... I cannot stay, where our child will remain in danger... she will always be in danger, as long as she is with me, but... I can protect her... but not here... not here...'

His eyes snapped open, instantly alert. He grabbed the sword from his side and stood, turning, letting it slide from the sheath as he focused on the offender with defensive, maddened eyes.

Kenshin kept his sword up, wavering slightly, though from grief, or blood loss, or both, he wasn't sure. He stared at Katsura for a long time, until the sword dropped from his fingers and fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

Katsura's eyes drifted to Tomoe's body. "I was just told about the attack. I wasn't informed... if I knew, I would have stopped it. I'm sorry."

Hikari shifted and cooed in her sleep, uninterrupted by Kenshin's movement. He curled his other arm around her. "Katsura-san," he said again, "Why? Why did they do this to us? We would have lived peacefully... we would never have even considered rebelling against the government..." he looked down mournfully at his daughter. "Never... we loved the peace... loved what it made us... what it gave to us..."

Katsura was at a loss. 'There are many cowards and fools who wish to become the leaders of this country. They, in their haste to protect it, have made a possible enemy of a peaceful man... I'm sorry, Himura... if I had only known sooner...' "What will you do now?"

Kenshin glanced up again, startled by his voice, as if he had only then realized that he was not alone.

"I..." he hesitated, turning back to his wife and kneeling beside her. "I don't know... I can't stay here... if they wish me dead, then I cannot let them catch me..." his voice lowered. "I will protect her... I won't let anything happen to her..."

"I will stop it, Himura." Katsura took a few slow steps forward. "I swear to you now, you will not be hunted like an animal in exchange for all you have done for us."

"Still, I cannot stay here." Kenshin repeated. "This place... has many memories. I don't want to lose my memories of her... and I will never forget... but I do not wish for Hikari to be raised in the house where her mother was murdered." again, his voice softened to an almost inaudible level. "... by her father... Tomoe, forgive me..."

Katsura didn't reply at first. He knew there was something more to this; a man such as Himura would not kill the woman he loved, certainly not intentionally.

Finally, he inquired again, timid to interrupt the silence and privacy of thought, but anxious for the young man who had suffered far more than he should at his age. 'All because of my ignorant request... forgive me, Himura. The Mitsurugi school was not meant to tear down an era, but to protect it...' "Where will you go, then?"

Kenshin reached out and brushed the bangs away from Tomoe's face, then stroked the child's identical locks with a lingering sense of longing. "I am not yet sure. I will wander... I will search for a way to atone for what I have done... perhaps I will find a proper home, where I can become that which Tomoe wanted me to be... and find out who Himura Kenshin truly is... without Hitokiri Battousai."

"And..." he continued, his voice low and husky with unimaginable grief. "... I will never kill again."

He did not speak again. Katsura stood in silence for a moment, then bowed very low and left the former hitokiri to grieve alone.

"My stay here seems to cause a burden for you."
"Will you finish me? Like the night with the samurai in black..."
"So, you would kill people, good or bad, if they were simply holding a sword?"
"If I had been carrying a sword that night, would you have..."
"Someday, when you have the answer, please let me know."
"You need a sheath, to hold back your madness... so... let me stay with you for a while."
"No... I won't kill you. No matter what happens, I won't kill you, ever. Not you... ever..."
"Let's live together. I don't know how long it will last, but... if possible, it doesn't have to be for show. Both... together... till death do us part..."
"The happiness I should have had vanished with him..."
"I don't smell blood anymore. Only the fragrance of white plums..."
"Tomoe... the happiness you lost once, in all this chaos. I'll protect it this time for you."
"I will wait for you to come home again..."
"Anata... the child will be yours as well... and you will be a good father..."
"It's all right... it's better this way, so please don't cry..."
"I love you..."
'I protect... protect you...'

A soft wailing nudged Kenshin sharply out of his memories, forcing him to look down. "Hi-Hikari...?"

She whimpered, dark eyes shimmering with tears. He glanced back down to Tomoe, only then realizing how late it had gotten. "Ah, you're hungry, aren't you... kaasan can't feed you now... I..." his eyes darted around the room, almost fearful. "Did I fall asleep? If they had returned... iie, Katsura said he'd take care of it... I..." his attention returned to her. "Oh, Hikari... am I going mad? I can't seem to think anymore. I can't... I can't stay here. We can't stay here. Your kaasan doesn't deserve to rest in a place like this. We'll... we'll take her... someplace where she can... sleep..."

Hikari settled down, staring up at him wonderingly. Slowly, he stood, and began to prepare for their departure.

Pages, fluttering in the wind. He followed the sound to one corner of the room, where her diary lay abandoned on a small table, ink well shattered on the floor from the earlier struggles. He stepped over and picked it up, flipping through it, ever-curious, ever-sorrowful.

"News arrived from Kyoto regarding Kiyosato Akira-sama's assassination. Though I can hardly believe it, I am filled with regret that I did not stop him from leaving."

"I have decided. To take revenge for my beloved, I will go to the City of Flowers tomorrow."

"My arrival in Kyoto brought haunted amber eyes and a rain of blood. I have met the gaze of a true killer, and his attempts to drive me away have only made me more intent in my resolve."

"How is it that one so cruel can be so kind? We are husband and wife, and I do not know whether to rejoice or weep."

"Have I betrayed you, beloved? I swore to take your revenge, yet I have allowed the man who stole your place take my hand in marriage."

Kenshin stared at the pages, stunned. 'Rejoice or weep... stole his place... I... I...?'

"I... no... I... don't want to die. I was... finally going... to marry her. I've always... loved her..."

"It was..." one hand drifted to his cheek, tracing the long, vertical slash. "I killed him?! I killed her fiancé? I stole her happiness?!"

"So, Kiyosato, you're getting married next month, aren't you? I heard the bride is your beautiful childhood sweetheart. That's real happiness..."

Steeling himself, he read on. 'Why... why did she not... tell me... how could she have loved me...'

"It is strange, after watching him kill without hesitation, to see him play so naturally with children. Behind that unguarded smile, there lies a gentleness I never imagined I would see in him. Something in his eyes when he smiles makes me feel... my thoughts are so turmoiled now. I am not sure who I see in him anymore; the killer from Kyoto, a lost child haunted by his ghosts, or a shadow of who my beloved had been."

"Enishi's arrival was surprising, but a very hard awakening came with it. I explained my past to my husband, and his reaction was- not entirely unfounded, but I still did not expect it. Light has been shown on his history as well, and now, I cannot help but realize that this man, though he is no substitute for Akira-san, is the one whom I have hated, shielded, and finally, loved. He will kill again, but someday he will protect more lives than he takes. He swore he would protect my happiness. I do not wish to be his weakness. The plot to kill him will go on without me, but if I manage to fool them, perhaps it will fail. Farewell, my second love. Please, do not perish."

"Tomoe..." he returned to her side and traced his fingers down her cheek again, tears dripping from his eyes. "... you have loved before me, and I stole this love from you. I know... this is not something that can be forgiven easily, but... you did... you forgave me, and were willing to love me, to allow me to love you in return... you left, so you could protect me... and so, I will leave, so I can..." he glanced down at Hikari, eyes soft and tender. "... so I can protect her..."

He leaned closer and kissed his wife's cheek, one final tear falling on her neck and vanishing in her midnight hair. "But... I will not leave you... until I know you are resting..."

"It was no trouble, Himura-san. Please, if you ever need help, I and this temple will be here to give you shelter..."

'Tomoe, to that place where Hikari was brought into our life... there, you can rest... and remain there, forever...'

"Kioku-san, welcome, welcome!" the priest greeted the young woman cheerfully as she entered the temple.

The old man's cheerfulness faded. "Ah... well, not as good as one could assume."

"We... have another visitor today." he led her down the hallway and opened a door slightly, letting her look in.
What she saw nearly sent her jaw to the floor. "K-Ken-san?!"

He lay on a futon in the middle of the room, eyes closed. The plain black yukata he wore was opened at the lower chest to reveal a bandaged side. A smaller bandage covered his left cheek.

"Shh..." the priest motioned for silence. "He's exhausted, and needs rest. Please keep your voice down."

"But... but..." Kioku's tone dropped slightly. "Look at him, he's hurt! What happened?" her eyes widened. "Tomoe - and th-the baby?"

The priest patted her shoulder, calming her. "The child is fine. She's being taken care of by some of the women here. Tomoe-san..." his voice was hushed, as if grieving. "Her body is being prepared for burial."

"Na... nani?" Kioku stared in silence for a moment, then choked out a sob, tears forming in her eyes. "Tomoe... oh, poor Ken-san... what happened?"

The priest shook his head. "I'm not sure of all the occurrences that caused this, but what I know, I am not at a liberty to say. If Himura-san wishes to tell you, he will. For now, we must leave him to rest... and to grieve."

Kioku nodded slowly, and the priest closed the door. "Where... where is Hikari? Can I see the child?"

He led her further down the halls, to a smaller room, in which several women in white kimonos fussed over a sobbing child. Kioku immediately recognized her and hurried over, taking the baby into her arms. "Maa, maa, daijoubu, kodomo... it's okay, Kioku-san's here now..." she rocked the baby back and forth, cooing softly to lessen her tears. "Poor girl... your kaasan's gone... and tousan is hurt... poor, poor child..."

"Kannushi-sama," she turned back to the priest, "May I help care for Hikari until Ken-san is well enough? With Tomoe-san's passing, I'm sure he will want her to remain closeby."

Kannushi considered this for a moment, then saw that Hikari's crying has ceased. "It seems the choice has already been made. All right, care for her if you-"

Kannushi pursed his lips. "Oh... oh dear... he shouldn't stress his wounds..." his eyes widened. "Kioku, he... he had a sword with him when he came here..."

"Kami-sama..." Kioku's eyes darted around. "What if... what if he won't listen to us? He's in no condition to care for her!"

The door slammed open, and Kenshin stumbled in, eyes round and full of terrified panic. He held the sheathed sword in his right hand, and the women darted back at his arrival.

Kenshin's gaze was drawn to her, narrowing slightly in recognition. Suddenly he saw Hikari in her arms, and the tension began to fade. "Hikari..."

"I-it's all right, Himura-san." Kannushi approached him, hesitant. "The child is safe; Kioku-san will care for her. You need to go rest." he glanced down at the young man's chest, and saw the bandage turning a dark pinkish colour. "You've aggravated the wounds further, Himura. How do you expect to recover if you do not stay in bed? Come, I'll help you."

Kenshin groaned softly, covering the wound with one hand and leaning on the doorway with the other, still clinging to the sheath. "I... I can't..."

"I can't!" he cried, head lowered, voice gradually rising. "I can't sleep without... seeing... I always see her... always see... her... can't..." suddenly his head snapped up, nearly shouting, "I can't sleep without seeing myself kill her!"

Both the priest and the woman stepped backwards are his words, Kioku holding the baby closer to her chest. Kenshin's grip on the door faltered, and he fell to his knees.

"Da... dai..." the hoarse whisper was barely audible over the wailing. "Dai... jou... bu..."

Slowly, Kenshin pulled himself up, the sword sliding from his hand, and reached out towards Kioku. "Hikari... chan..."

Kioku paused, then took a few steps forward and placed the child in his arms. He held her close, burying his face into the blankets and sobbing.

'I will not fail her... I failed Tomoe, but this child... I will not... I cannot...'

The door creaked softly as Kioku entered, regardless of her attempts to silence it. "Kuso! These old doors-" swiftly she covered her mouth. "Mou... in a church, too... baka."

She shook her head for a moment, then turned from the door and walked further into the room. "Ohayo, Ken-san... wake up, breakfast is ready... Ken-san?"

The futon and blankets, folded neatly in a pile in one corner of the room, looked untouched.

The small top that usually lay abandoned on the floor each morning was strangely absent.

"Kami-sama..." she whispered, turning and running out of the room, "Kannuchi-samaaa! Ken-san is-!"

He knelt at her grave, gazing at the blank stone with a small, barely visible smile on his face. Hikari sat below him, her back resting against his knees for support, her small fingers clutching his to remain upright. Her eyes, wide and attentive, glowed a soft purple as she watched a lone, fluttering red leaf among the bare trees.

His eyes, too, were violet, though a much darker shade. "I'm leaving today, Tomoe. I'm going early, so I don't have to say goodbye. It is just as we left Kyoto... goodbyes are not for those who lived in the darkness." one finger brushed the smooth skin of his daughter's hand. "This one has never known the darkness... I wish to keep it that way, if I can. As you said, I am Himura Kenshin and nothing more... the darkness known as Hitokiri Battousai must not follow me. Hikari is a light... I will not allow my shadows to harm her."

"Goodbyes are so sad, Tomoe... so... let's not say farewell... just... just a promise... that maybe... maybe we'll meet again..."

His sword hand reached down for the familiar sheath at his side, and he stood, cradling Hikari close to him.

'Someday, when she is old enough to understand the weight I bear... when she can see what a light she has been for me... a strong, pure light, more than you were... I stole your light, forcing you into the darkness... but... if there is a way of protecting the light she holds within her, I will do so...'