Disclaimer: Don't own RK, etc. etc. Thank god this is the last one of *these* I'll have to write for awhile!

*sniff* It's finally over! My god, nearly a year and over 100,000 words later my epic is done. It feels a little…unreal. You guys have been simply awesome. I wrote a little tribute to everyone who's reviewed so far; you'll find it posted as a separate chapter along with my end notes. Large parts of this chapter were written to: the background track "Space Lion" from Cowboy Bebop, "Serenade" from Fruits Basket, the end theme "Hamasaki Ayumi" from the first Inuyasha movie and the opening theme to "Gladiator". I recommend them as appropriate mood music ^_^ Okay I'll shut up now so you can read, on with the fic!


Prism - Chapter 15

by Calger459
09.Jul.2003

~*~

Held close in Kaoru's arms that night, Kenshin dreamt.

The summer sun shone hotly on the rurouni's back as he climbed slowly up a steep and rocky mountain trail. Sticky sweat dripped down his face and the stones under his hands were painfully sharp as he negotiated a small rockslide blocking part of the path. It all felt so real, but Kenshin knew it wasn't. It couldn't be, because he had just fought Yanagi, and that had most definitely been at the dojo. His suspicions were confirmed when he finally reached the end of the trail. He stepped out from under the trees into a field of light. Yes, definitely a dream; there's no way he could really be in Kyoto.

Hiko's cabin stood at one end of the sunlit clearing. On the opposite side grew a huge old tree, its side heavily scarred from years of practice strikes. His master was nowhere to be seen. Instead, the rurouni saw Battousai sitting next to the tree on a low rock. He was dressed in Kenshin's old student gi, dark blue with a white collar, the same outfit he'd been wearing the day he'd left Hiko's mountain to join the war. He sat with his eyes closed, his back against the trunk and a katana propped comfortably on his shoulder. Kenshin took in his counterpart's strangely serene expression. He looked almost happy in the summer sunlight. This puzzled the rurouni; it had never been like this before. Whenever he'd had this dream in the past Battousai had always been agitated and on guard, usually stalking about the clearing practicing kata with an almost single-minded fury.

Kenshin turned his gaze to the young boy who sat on the ground near the hitokiri. Shinta, wearing a plain green gi and hakama, was happily playing with a small wooden top. Kenshin smiled sadly. He recognized the toy; it had been his father's last New Year's gift to him. Kenshin remembered playing with it often growing up. Even up until Tomoe's death he'd kept it with him, spinning it at odd moments, allowing himself to be mesmerized by the patterns made by the colorful rings painted on the upper surface. He'd always found its distraction a welcome and comforting escape from the bitter realities of an assassin's existence. It was a habit his first wife had always tolerated with a small, strangely knowing smile, as if that one action from him had revealed the truth hiding beneath Battousai’s cold mask. That toy was long gone now, left behind in the little house in Otsu to burn with Tomoe's remains, but he wasn't surprised that a part himself still remembered what it had meant to him.

Battousai opened his eyes. He smiled faintly at his older self. "I was wondering when you'd come."

The rurouni's response was automatic; this dream was always similar. "The trail was longer than I'd remembered. Sorry I'm late."

Shinta looked up. "That's okay. We've been having fun."

//It's exactly the same. // Kenshin sighed and sat on the ground next to Shinta. Given recent events, he really thought this dream would have faded, but clearly his counterparts were still here. Still, this was preferable to the horrific memory-dreams where he relived the Bakumatsu in agonizingly vivid detail. The blood and smoke of the battlefield in those nightmares often seemed more real to him than the waking world, and some days took several long hours of cooking and laundry to finally clear the stench of death from his senses. His dreams were one of the many reasons why he slept so fitfully at night, getting up well before sunrise to plunge into morning chores by the cold gray light of dawn. Thankfully, his nights had greatly improved after his marriage to Kaoru. Her solid and reassuring presence by his side gave him a sense of internal peace he had been unable to find as a wanderer, and with that stability his nightmares had finally begun to lessen in strength.

The rurouni idly fingered the long blades of grass around his feet, casting sidelong glances at his other selves. So why then, he wondered, after everything that had happened, were the three of them still sitting here? "Nothing's really changed has it? We're still the way we were before."

"Don’t be ridiculous." Battousai reached into his gi and pulled a small shiny object. With a sharp snap of his wrist he tossed it to the rurouni, who caught it easily.

Kenshin blinked, confused by the triangular chunk of glass he now held. "What's this?"

"Give that to Kaoru for me." Battousai remarked with a lazy yawn, settling back against the tree and closing his eyes. He seemed ready for a nap. "She'll know what it means."

The rurouni was confused by this, but he obediently tucked the prism away into the sleeve of his faded magenta gi. "All right, but….are you sure you wouldn't rather go in my place for a while?"

The hitokiri snorted and folded his hands behind his head. "Not a chance. I've had enough of daily life to last me a lifetime, thanks. Besides—" he opened one eye and cast his counterpart a mischievous glance, "—it's not like I'm far away. I'll be here when you need me again." At another time, the rurouni reflected, there would have been the hint of a threat in those words. This time though was different. Battousai now sounded almost…wistful. Even hopeful.

//Hopeful… // He frowned slightly at the teenager. "I don't understand. I thought we decided we were one."

Battousai didn't answer immediately. He stared out into the forest, his expression thoughtful. After a long moment he turned somber violet eyes on the rurouni. "We are but…you can't deny that a part of me will always be a relic of the past. My time came and went with the age of swords. I can't deal with normal people, not like you can."

"I suppose that's true. However, we need each other, now more than ever. Kaoru wishes to see you, and I can no longer hide you as I've done in the past. You need to learn to live with them, on your own terms."

Shinta nodded in agreement. "He is right, Kenshin-san. Your lack of control in this situation was partly from the way you have existed until now. Things have to change, or we will never know true peace."

Kenshin glanced at his child-self, who sounded nothing like a child at the moment, and wondered not for the first time just what the boy's true purpose was in all this. Shinta had always been there in his mind, but he most often kept to the background, observing the dreamscape arguments of his other two selves without comment. Before Yanagi, Kenshin had never really questioned the child's existence; he has simply been part of a recurring dream, nothing more. But now that the dream had, at least for a time, become reality, he wondered. Was Shinta a manifestation of Himura Kenshin's innocence, his conscience, or something else entirely? It was a little unnerving to be asking such questions of himself. Kenshin had never been the type to dwell on the insanity his brain chose to produce each night; dreams for him normally had little bearing on the real world. However the boy's existence was undeniable, and the rurouni was beginning to have the distinct feeling that, at least from Shinta's perspective, the entire incident had been some sort of test. A test of what, he wasn't entirely sure.

Battousai frowned, but made no move to argue the child's point. "I suppose so, but it won't be easy. We won't be the same man as before."

The rurouni looked up at that. "Of course we will. The difference is we will be more *balanced* from now on. I agree that it won't be an easy thing to do, but if we are to prevent something like this from happening again, it needs to be done. You understand that, I hope."

Battousai sighed heavily. "I suppose so."

Shinta smiled triumphantly and stood, slipping the top inside his gi. "Then it's decided! This means tomorrow I get to play with Ayame-chan and Suzame-chan, right?"

Battousai gave the boy a strange look. "Shinta-kun?"

"Yes?" He replied innocently. He glanced at the rurouni, and looked startled by the suspicious look the other was giving him. "What?" He looked back and forth between his older selves. They were both giving him very searching stares, and he surprised them both when he suddenly burst out laughing. "Oh goodness, obviously you're both dying to ask the same thing, don't let me stop you!"

The rurouni blinked in shock. He spoke without thinking. "Who are you really?"

Shinta seemed highly amused. "Who do you think I am?"

"A judge," Battousai said abruptly. The rurouni gave him a startled look. He'd been thinking much the same thing. "Or something like that. It was your goal from the beginning to reconcile the three of us, wasn't it?"

Shinta tilted his head to one side and gave the hitokiri an intrigued look. "Was it? I'm flattered you think I'm that devious!"

"Just answer the question," the rurouni very nearly growled. "Did you take advantage of the situation? I couldn't help feeling like both Kenshin and I were being manipulated this entire time, as if being split were some kind of test of our mental integrity."

The child's eyes went very wide. "Goodness, I'd think that would be something the gods would've set up, wouldn't you? It wouldn't have been my idea! For the sake of argument though, let's say that it *was* a test." He sat back down, tucking his hands away inside his sleeves with a thoughtful expression. "Do you think we passed?"

The older Himuras exchanged uncomfortable glances. "I don't think so," Battousai said quietly.

Shinta shook his head. "Try again Kenshin-san. What were we thinking of the day Yanagi appeared?"

The rurouni blinked in slow realization. "That…Enishi's Jinchuu was the start of something more."

"Do you still think that?"

Kenshin considered this carefully, feeling Battousai's almost anxious gaze on him. //He's looking to me for an answer. In the end, they always defer to me. Why is that? // "It seems…that I was wrong. If my mind were truly falling apart, then we would never have been able to come back together. So I guess we passed...and that there was really nothing to worry about in the first place."

The hitokiri relaxed visibly beside him. Shinta grinned and winked at the both of them. "Very good, Rurouni-san! But as for *me* and who I am, you're making it far too complicated. If you want to know the real answer, just ask Kaoru-san. She had it right all along. C'mon Rurouni-san, let's go!"

"But—" Battousai began, a dumfounded expression on his face.

//He's brushed us aside again. But I think I know what he means. // The rurouni stood and headed for the edge of the clearing, feeling strangely calm. //She compared us to an onigirii. Pure white rice binds two plums, the inner substance, together. Kaoru, you are so much wiser than the others give you credit for. // He reflected on this as he made his way to the edge of the clearing, Shinta skipping happily alongside him. He remembered saying to Kaoru that he was surprised by the truth in her statement. He knew that is wasn’t because *she* had said it, but because he had honestly never thought of himself it those terms. But it was true, wasn’t it? He wondered if the same could be said of Sano, Yanagi, or even Saitou. //Human minds are so complicated. I don’t think I will ever really understand what happened here. // He paused at the tree line and glanced back over his shoulder at Battousai, who was still sitting on the rock staring after them blankly. "Well, aren't you coming?"

The hitokiri hesitated before getting up and coming over to stand with his other selves. All three stared down the path and Battousai gave a soft, surprised gasp when Kenshin took hold of his hand, threading his fingers gently through the hitokiri's. The rurouni's tone was reassuring. "Don't be afraid."

Battousai shook his head slightly, his face apprehensive. "Things won't be the same."

The rurouni just smiled. "No. They'll be better."

Together, the three stepped onto the path and into the waking world.

~*~

Kaoru watched Kenshin gradually come awake. It was rare for her to be up before her husband, and she always cherished the opportunity to watch him sleep untroubled, his youthful face free of the fine lines of tension it normally wore. The sun's warm light framed his hair in highlights of brilliant gold, and that same color seemed for a brief instant to enter his eyes as he opened them. It faded quickly though, leaving Kaoru to wonder if she had imagined it. //Oh it doesn't matter; he's beautiful. // Kenshin's eyes were now a luminous violet, and Kaoru felt her heart warm as she took in his handsome features, which were hers alone to enjoy. //I'm a lucky woman indeed. //

"Hey there," she whispered, tightening her arms where they were looped loosely around his back. "How are you feeling?"

Kenshin blinked fuzzily at her, his exhausted mind and body still obviously caught between waking and sleep. Kaoru smiled in understanding and reached up with one hand to brush a few stray bangs out of his eyes. She waited for him to respond with a "good morning" the way he always did but he remained silent, staring at her in slight confusion. "Kenshin?" Kaoru felt a small knot of worry form in her stomach. "Are you okay?" When he still didn't answer her, she felt the beginnings of panic creep up her spine.

Trying to steady her breathing she studied his face, looking for signs of trouble. His skin was still slightly ashen in color and there were faint shadows under his eyes. Clearly he was still not well, but he looked worlds better than he had the night before when he'd collapsed into her arms in a dead faint. Those panicked few moments had called up for her very unpleasant memories of Kyoto, when Kenshin had nearly died from his injuries. Kaoru was grateful that Megumi had stepped in last night to take over the situation, working quickly to stop the profuse bleeding from his shoulder. The wound had fully reopened when his bodies had recombined and the wound from the ougi had worsened as well, making it difficult for him to breathe even in sleep. He had seemed to stabilize quickly after that, but taking in his still uncomprehending expression Kaoru felt her worry turn to fear. //Oh gods what if…what if he was hurt worse than we thought? // "Kenshin?" She gave him an anxious shake.

The panic in her voice seemed to finally stir him and he blinked, his eyes focusing on her fully. "Kaoru…I'm all right."

//He sounds so weak. // Kaoru swallowed hard. "Are you sure? We were worried, after last night…"

"Last night?" he murmured vaguely. "Did something happen last night?"

Kaoru's eyes startled wide and she sat up on the futon, eliciting a startled "oro!" from her husband when she pulled him up with her. She pressed a hand to his forehead. "Strange, you don't seem to have a fever. Maybe I should get Megumi-san—"

"I'm fine." He interrupted, sounding more awake. Steeling himself against the ache in his shoulder Kenshin pulled her hand from his face and held it tightly. "What happened last night? Why wouldn't I be all right?"

Kaoru gaped at him in disbelief, her fear turning to alarm. "Don't you remember? Yanagi came and you…you put yourself back together somehow. You seemed okay after that, but so much happened between the three of you. We were worried that somehow you wouldn't be, you know *yourself* when you woke up…so…." She trailed off at the bewildered look on his face.

"Three?" He asked faintly. His gaze turned inward and he pressed a hand gently against his temple. After a moment, his expression cleared and he looked up at his wife with wide eyes. "Oh, THAT." To Kaoru's astonishment he grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head with one hand in embarrassment. "Sorry, I wasn't sure what you meant at first. I didn't mean to worry you. It's just that it's not like that anymore in here—" he tapped the side of his head "—so for a minute, I didn't remember."

"Wait…what?" Kaoru suddenly felt light-headed. Kenshin winced as the grip she had on his other hand became white-knuckled. "Are you saying you don't remember the last *week*!? I think I really should go get Megumi-san…"

Kenshin started to laugh, and Kaoru was too stunned by the sound to protest when he pulled her into a tight hug. "Of course I remember, but all those memories are one now. Does that make any sense?" He tried to kiss her on the cheek, but she turned her face away with a small gasp, growing tense and still in his arms. Kenshin gasped a little in surprise and hurt. “Kaoru? What’s wrong?” She shook her head, refusing to meet his eyes. They sat that way for a long, uncomfortable moment. He sensed that Kaoru wanted desperately to change the subject. He swallowed around his doubt with difficulty, surprising himself with how normal his voice sounded. "What of Yanagi?"

"Oh..." She cast her gaze downward. "They're gone, the two of them…I tried to convince Akari-san to stay here last night, but she refused. She took Yanagi and left, and really he was in no condition to stop her. I think they went back to their hotel, but I can't be sure.” She hesitated a moment, seemingly unsure what to say next. “Um…Megumi-san wanted me to check your wounds when you woke up."

The conversation ended on that awkward note, and Kenshin didn't say anything more as Kaoru carefully unwrapped the bindings around his shoulder. Her movements were careful and hesitant, which he found odd seeing as she had bandaged wounds—specifically his—many times before. She wasn't relaxed around him right now the way she usually was, and he felt his throat tighten at the distance that had appeared between them. Reading her ki he could *see* the nervousness and uncertainty hovering about her like a dark shadow, and he struggled to explain where it had come from. Last night was mostly a scattered blur to him, but hadn't there been a dream? Yes, he'd dreamed right before waking up…he tried to remember what it had been about, but the details stubbornly refused to surface. //Figures. It was important too, I know it was. // He frowned, frustrated by his lack of memory. //There was something I was supposed to remember... // Admitting defeat for the moment, he tried instead to remember the previous evening. He did recall some things; there had been his family there and Yanagi as well. After that though…nothing. Had he done or said something during that time to make Kaoru unsure about him? The only thing he *was* certain about was that for a time there had been three of him; his most recent memories didn't make sense otherwise. //It all seems so unreal. How did I get back to normal again? //

Kenshin risked a glance at his wife. She still wasn't looking at him, and he could tell there was something else bothering her. Drawing on one of his clearer memories, he decided to make an educated guess. "I should apologize to her."

Kaoru kept her eyes lowered as she finished tying on the new bandage. She didn't need to ask who he meant. "Why?"

He sighed heavily. "It seems strange I suppose, after what he did but…mentally Yanagi will never be the same. I wish there had been another way to stop him, a way that would have healed him but…perhaps this is for the best. Still, I helped take Akari-dono's husband away from her. I should apologize."

Some of Kaoru's nervousness visibly eased with his words. Kenshin frowned slightly. //Why is she nervous at all? // "I feel badly for her too, Kenshin. But you didn't do this to Yanagi. He brought this on himself; he's the one who lied to her and hurt her. You shouldn't feel badly about that, not after what he did to you. Besides, you had to make sure he wouldn't hurt anyone else, right?"

"I guess." he muttered.

Kaoru looked up at the sharp, almost bitter edge in his voice and gave him a searching stare, her nervousness returning full force. Forcing his doubts from his face, Kenshin smiled at her tiredly. "I hate to ask this, but there wouldn’t be any breakfast would there?"

Forcing a smile through her obvious anxiety, Kaoru nodded. "Of course. I'll be back in a moment."

~*~

Kenshin had hardly settled down to his meal when the rest of the Kenshin-gumi came barreling in to join him, their own breakfasts in hand. While all of them were obviously relieved to have their rurouni back to normal, Kaoru felt annoyed by their rather intrusive attempts to figure out just how this experience had changed him, if in fact he was different at all. She could tell that he was trying not to let his frustration show as he fielded their various questions.

"So," Sano said conversationally between large bites of his breakfast. "You feeling okay?"

Kenshin shrugged carefully, mindful of his wounded shoulder, and exchanged his finished miso soup for a bowl of rice. "The injuries aren't serious. I'll be fine."

Sano raised an incredulous eyebrow. "Maybe not serious to you, but Shinta sure looked like he was feeling those wounds last night. The things he did were amazing though. That was some light show you gave us."

Kenshin stared blankly at him. "Light show?"

Yahiko nodded. "Yeah. Shinta did all this cool ki stuff and then when the other two fell off the roof there was this big *poof* of light. It was neat."

Sano rolled his eyes. "Light doesn't go *poof* you idiot."

"Shut up! I'm just tellin' it like it is!"

Kenshin looked back and forth between them, completely at a loss. "Wait, I don't remember any of this."

There was shocked silence at his words and Kaoru sighed. She pointedly ignored the confused stares her friends turned on her. //Why do they keep looking to me? It's not like I have any answers… // She laid a careful hand on her husband's shoulder. "I already told you, Kenshin. You put yourself back together again after Yanagi blew up the bathhouse." She had to bite her lip to keep herself from saying anything impolite about that. She didn't even want to *think* about how much those repairs would cost, and in the meantime they would be forced to pay for public baths.

Sano was staring at the rurouni in open disbelief. "Wait a minute, you don't remember being separate at *all*? You've got to be kidding me."

"Did I say that?" Kenshin asked, half to himself, his face thoughtful as he poked at his rice with his chopsticks. "I remember the past several days, Sano, just not in the same way you do, I think."

"Ken-san," Megumi said carefully. "Maybe it would be better if you tell us what you *do* remember."

It took a moment for him to answer. "Last night, Yanagi came here. I remember that. Then I fought him…and at some point I suppose I did end up on top of the bathhouse. But after that I really don't remember much of anything until I woke up this morning."

"You remembered Akari-san," Kaoru reminded him softly, "and what happened to Yanagi."

Kenshin nodded slowly, his eyes sad. "Yes, but not anything around it. It's a bit confusing, I'll admit."

Sano scowled and sat forward. "You've lost me, Kenshin. I don't get what you mean by all this memory stuff. So you're saying you remember some things but not others? What about that big scene you made in the market the other day? You remember *that*, right?"

Kenshin winced. "That was…an unfortunate mishap, Sano."

"I'll say," his friend grunted. "What about after that?"

"You mean immediately after? I went to the Western quarter to find Yanagi."

"And? Where were the rurouni and Shinta during all that?"

"Here." Kenshin answered, giving Sano a strange look. "But to me it seems like I did all those things. There's no difference."

"No difference…" Megumi looked concerned. "How can that be, Ken-san? You did all those things at the same time!"

Yahiko had an unusually thoughtful look on his face. "So that means you really *are* in one piece again, right? Battousai and Shinta are inside *you*. And the things Shinta did…you've always been able to do stuff like that?"

Kenshin's expression darkened. "I remember a little of what you're referring to. I was trained to use ki primarily to strengthen my sword techniques and allow me to predict fighting intent. Unlike Yanagi, I never learned to use my swordsman's spirit as a weapon. However, that doesn't mean I wouldn't be able to improvise in an emergency, especially for defense. I did what I had to do to protect…myself, and Kaoru.”

There was a long moment of awkward silence, broken only by the cheerful chirping of birds, a sharp contrast to the mood of the room. "You could have died, Ken-san." Megumi said very quietly.

"I nearly did." Kenshin looked down at his unfinished breakfast. "Though I have some trouble remembering being separated, I am nevertheless very relieved to be whole again."

Sano finally smiled. "So are we, Kenshin."

"It's weird though." Yahiko glanced outside. "I keep expecting Shinta to come bouncing through here any minute, or to see Battousai practicing outside. I kind of got used to them being around."

A soft knocking at the front gate startled everyone, and Kenshin automatically started to rise to answer it.

"I'll get it, Kenshin." Sano said quickly, standing up. "You rest, all right?"

Everyone blinked as he rushed out, all a bit stunned by his thoughtfulness. "That rooster-head certainly has been a bit odd lately…" Megumi murmured, half to herself. Kaoru couldn't help but smile at the comment.

~*~

Sano couldn't help but stare impolitely when he opened the gate to find Akari standing on the other side. Automatically he looked around for Yanagi, but the man was nowhere to be seen. "Hey there," he said uncertainly. "Didn't expect to see you back so soon."

Akari's frosty glare was enough to make even Sano squirm. "I need to speak to Himura-san please, if he is available."

Sano nodded and stepped back, waving her through the gate. He had rarely seen such a cold expression on a woman's face, and he imagined Akari couldn't have had a very pleasant time after taking her husband from the dojo last night. He decided that being unassuming for a while would be the wisest course of action, and he trailed well behind her as she strode purposefully up to the house.

~*~

The Kenshin-gumi tried—and failed—to conceal their surprise at Akari’s arrival as she knelt down across from Kenshin. "Good morning, Himura-san," she said, bowing formally to him. "I'm relieved to see you looking well."

He nodded back hesitantly. "Thank you, I'm all right now. There's really no need to be so formal, Akari-dono. Why have you come this morning?"

She straightened up and met his gaze steadily. "Mostly, to see how you were doing. I'm afraid though that my time is limited so I'll come straight to my other reason for being here. I want, if you’ll allow me, to offer repairs to your bathhouse. My husband's accounts should more than cover the damage he caused last night."

Kaoru gasped softly. "Oh Akari-san no, we couldn't possibly accept that!" She actually surprised herself a little with her answer; it was seemingly an ideal arrangement, seeing as she had no idea how they were going to fix the building on her meager income. Kaoru forced those thoughts away before they could show on her face. "It's a kind offer but really, we don't need it. We have our Kenshin back; that's enough for us."

Akari frowned at her. "I'm afraid I must insist, Kaoru-san. Since my husband is no longer capable of taking responsibility for himself, I must do it for him. Think of it as my apology for his actions and accept it graciously, please. That is what I ask."

"But…"

"Thank you, Akari-dono." Kenshin interrupted quietly. "We will accept your offer."

Kaoru threw him a shocked glance. "Kenshin!"

The swordsman covered her hand with his and Kaoru stilled at the look in his eye. She recognized that authoritative glint. "We're grateful for your help Akari-dono, but I can't help but think you would need that money for yourself. You said that Yanagi could not take responsibility for what he has done…please, where is he now?" Kenshin's gaze had softened again, his eyes clouded with guilt. Kaoru stared openly at her husband, fascinated despite herself. //He seems so... //

Akari sighed wearily and brushed a few stray bangs out of her eyes. "He stopped talking on the way back to the hotel last night. By the time we got there he wouldn't even acknowledge my presence. He seems to have pulled into himself, and I don't know what he is thinking now. I left him at the hotel, under the watch of the staff. They are charging him for the damages he caused earlier this week…" Her voice started to waver and she clenched her fists in the fabric of her kimono. The strain in her posture was clear for everyone to see. "Even so we are not poor people, Himura-san. I will have enough left for myself. When repair arrangements have been made I will take my husband back to Osaka and we won't bother you again. That, I promise."

"You're being unfair to yourself." Sano said darkly from behind her, where he sat with his back against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. "Why should you have to suffer for what he did? Don't worry about the bathhouse Akari-san; I'm the one who's gonna end up fixing it anyway."

"Hey," Kaoru muttered in protest, but silently she agreed with her friend.

Kenshin bowed his head, long bangs shadowing his eyes. "I am so sorry this has happened to you Akari-dono. I should have found another way to—"

"*No*." Everyone looked up at Akari's fierce protest. "No Himura-san, you are not at fault here! Don't apologize for what he did to you. You were in your rights to defend yourself and your family. Yanagi did this to himself."

Kenshin gasped softly at her words. Kaoru could see the denial in his face, and understanding finally set in. //They're all right there, aren’t they? Rurouni, Battousai, even Shinta. Yahiko was right.// She had felt so apprehensive about him, convinced that he would somehow be radically different after everything that had happened to him. //But he's not…he's really himself again. // Relief flooded through her, drawing a startled look from Kenshin, and she tried to blink her tears away before he could see them. It was too late though; his expression grew concerned, and she hurriedly focused her attention back on Akari.

"You're still being unfair," Sano repeated unhappily.

Akari smiled slightly. "Perhaps. Still, you have all been so kind to me. This really is the least I can do to thank you for all your help. I have to go back now. I will be in touch, Himura-san." Akari bowed again and rose to her feet.

Megumi watched as Akari left the room with her chin held high, and she caught Kaoru’s troubled gaze. “That woman, what she’s doing now, living by her own strength…it is truly an admirable thing.”

~*~

Akari felt numb as she walked away from the dojo. It was hard to focus her mind on any one thing; there was still so much to be done before she could leave this city. Coming through with her offer to Himura would not be as easy as she'd made it sound. While she was used to handling the daily finances, as most married women were, the details of Yanagi's accounts and how much money they really had were a mystery to her. Her husband's stubborn refusal to speak only made the task more difficult, and she felt her irritation toward him rise.

Maybe it was thoughts of him that made her glance toward the river as she crossed one of the many larger bridges leading to the Western quarter. She blinked sharply in surprise when she spotted a familiar figure sitting far below her on the bank. Akari gasped aloud and ran to the end of the bridge. Picking her way down the steep, grassy slope as fast as she could without tripping on the hem of her kimono, she stumbled to a halt beside Yanagi.

He was sitting very still, one arm draped loosely across his bent knee. He was staring sightlessly out at the water, and Akari followed the general direction of his gaze. On the opposite bank some children were flying kites. Their innocent laughter drifted on the wind, and as she knelt beside her husband Akari decided the sound formed a rather strange backdrop to the scene. She anxiously scanned her husband's face. It was shocking just how much he had changed in the past several days. Yanagi had always been on the thin side but now he was positively gaunt, his eyes slightly sunken in their sockets. His light gray eyes, which had always shone with a spirited fire, were now dull and lifeless. If he noticed the woman crouched beside him he gave no sign of it. Akari found it hard to keep her emotions in check seeing the desolation in his face.

She sank to her knees, not caring if her kimono got stained with grass and mud. "Yanagi, how did you get here? I left you at the hotel." When he didn't reply Akari finally gave in to her weariness and rested her forehead on his shoulder. She was exhausted beyond words, and she shifted to sit close beside him in the thick grass. They remained that way for some time and after a while Akari began to talk, knowing that on some level he heard her. "I should be angry with you, you know." She turned her head to watch the children run and play together, unmindful of the two adults observing them. "You lied to me, Yanagi. You beat me." She thought that over for a moment, and was a bit surprised by how numb she felt. //Maybe I'm still in shock. Takani-sensei warned me that might happen. // Akari breathed deeply and closed her eyes. She didn't want to think about herself right now. It seemed strangely unimportant. "You hurt me, far more than I deserved. You're such an idiot." Tears stung behind her closed lids, but she made no effort to stop them. For once she didn't care who saw her cry. "I still don't understand how you could have done this to yourself. I wish you would tell me. I wish you would talk to me. I should be so angry with you, and I am, but for some reason I still love you. I guess I'm stupid too." She laughed at that, but there was no humor in the sound.

"I'm cleaning up your mess," she continued, resting her head again on his shoulder. "The hotel, Himura-san's home; I'm paying for everything you did. When you come out of this funk you're in, I expect you to thank me. After all, who else would be this stupid for you?" She looked over at him. His eyes were still unfocused, but she thought she saw just the barest glimmer of life there. "I don't know why you came out here, but until you get up on your own I'm not taking you back. I don't care how long we have to sit here, as long as it's together. Understand?"

Yanagi didn't respond, didn't acknowledge that he'd even heard her. Akari again followed his empty gaze to where the children were still playing, their kites soaring high on the midday breeze.

And the river flowed on, uncaring of the world's troubles.

~*~

Kaoru stared at her rurouni in confusion. "The market? Why? We were just there!"

Kenshin smiled mysteriously and adjusted the silk gi around his shoulders. "I remembered something I needed there, that's all. I won't be gone long."

"So why won't you let me go with you?" she demanded, propping her hand on her hips and sticking out her lower lip in a stubborn pout. "You're still not well!"

"I’m *fine* Kaoru." He said in exasperation, checking the contents of his wallet before tucking it inside his sleeve. "I promise I won't get into any fights with anyone. I won't even take my sword. Okay?"

Kaoru had the absurd impulse to say "That makes me even *more* worried!" but she kept her mouth shut. Wasn't she the one who'd told him only few weeks ago that he *shouldn't* go around armed? Still, it was strange to hear him speak in a casual manner so reminiscent of Battousai and she wondered what this trip was really for. //I suppose if he's really more balanced than before…I'll be hearing him talk like this more often. It's going to take some getting used to. //

Kenshin paused in the doorway and flashed her a gentle rurouni smile. "I'll be back soon, don't worry."

Kaoru sighed again and nodded. "Come back safely."

~*~

Yahiko glanced up at Kenshin as they made their way to the market, wondering for the millionth time why the older swordsman had asked him to come along. "I don't get it Kenshin, are we going to buy food? I thought you guys did that yesterday."

"We did, and you'll see." Kenshin said, a small smile on his face.

Yahiko raised an eyebrow, wondering why his mentor seemed to be in such a good mood all of a sudden. Though he was back to normal physically, Yahiko could tell something was different about him. It wasn't exactly a bad difference, the boy realized. Kenshin seemed more as ease now, and he held his head high as they walked, where before he'd always let it hang down, long bangs shadowing troubled eyes. It was weird, Yahiko thought; Battousai's ferocity and Shinta's playfulness, all swallowed up again behind Kenshin's polite front. How exactly did that work out? //That's the real mystery isn't it? I'm not sure even Kenshin knows what really happened to him. // Yahiko mentally shook his head and forced himself to pay attention to their surroundings as they neared the center of town. The lunchtime crowds were unusually dense today, and he had to press close to Kenshin to keep from losing him.

"Yahiko."

The boy nearly ran into him as the swordsman came to a sudden halt. "Huh?"

Kenshin jerked his head toward a particularly thick gathering of people. "Look there. They're having a kendo demonstration."

"Oh!" Yahiko eagerly stood on tiptoe to try and see through the crowds. He could hear the clash of bamboo swords, but couldn't see the actual match. "Darn it, it's too crowded! I wonder what school they're from."

"Miyako-sensei's I believe. They were having a demonstration the day before yesterday when I was here with Kaoru, and I knew they were having one today also. She seemed to think it would be a good way of advertising the dojo, if you two did something similar."

Yahiko was beaming. "Hey, you're right! Thanks Kenshin, I wouldn't have known about this otherwise! Kaoru hasn't taught over there for a while." He glanced at the swordsman, who was giving him an odd little smile. "What?"

Kenshin shrugged and kept walking. Yahiko hurried to keep up as they passed the center of the market, heading into the more isolated portion where the gaijin usually set up shop. The young samurai was completely baffled by the older man's behavior. He didn't bring him to the market just because of the kendo demonstration did he? //Wait, is he trying to... // "Hey, Kenshin?"

"Hmm?"

"When you said this morning that you remembered everything that happened to you…did you mean that?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't," Kenshin replied matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, but I mean *all* of it, even the things that I…uh, I mean—"

"Yes."

"Oh," Yahiko said in a very small voice, suddenly uncertain how to proceed. The silence was extremely uncomfortable.

"You're wondering if that has anything to do with me mentioning kendo."

Yahiko nearly jumped in shock, astonished at the other's directness. "How did—"

Kenshin was smiling again, though kept his eyes trained straight ahead. "It wasn't hard to guess. Go ahead and ask me, it's all right."

"Ah…okay, well I was just thinking that those fighting techniques you showed me before were really useful. I'm sure even Kaoru doesn't know that stuff, otherwise she would have taught it to me already. Would you…I mean you wouldn't have to show me Hiten Mitsurugi to help me be a better fighter." He paused, expecting Kenshin to object the way he usually did when asked this sort of thing, but the swordsman remained silent. Yahiko forged ahead. "It's not just that though. There's something else you can help me with that I know she can't."

Kenshin's look now held mild surprise. "Oh, and what would that be?"

Yahiko gathered his courage. "Well, I know you said you don't remember, but that ki thing you did after your bodies came back together was really cool."

"'Ki thing?'"

The boy nodded. "Yeah, everything around you kind of went *woosh* —" he waved his arms about to illustrate "—and then everything around you just sort of shattered without you even touching it. I saw you do it with Enishi, too. How exactly do you *do* that?"

Kenshin considered his answer. They were walking past the foreign shops and Yahiko had to really try to not be distracted by all the strange merchandise they were passing. "To be honest, I don't really know. It's a difficult skill to put into words. I have a feeling there's a reason you're asking this."

"Uh yeah, there is. When do you realize that you can do stuff like that? How does it happen?"

Kenshin tilted his head curiously. "Why do you ask?"

"Well…I think it happened to me once."

Kenshin nodded. Apparently he'd been expecting this. "Tell me."

"Well, it was during my fight with that cannon guy…you know the one."

"I see." They were both silent for a moment. Enishi's Jinchuu had been a cruel test of their mutual trust, and while Yahiko had eventually forgiven Kenshin for his seeming abandonment of the young samurai, there was still much the boy had not shared with him about that time. "Go on."

"Well, right before you…came back…I was standing there during the fight and I was really angry, and I saw this little leaf float by me and it just…snapped in half. Just like that. I have no idea how it happened, but at the time I couldn't help but think it had broken because of me."

"And you'd be right," Kenshin assured him, a small smile of pride on his face. "As I said before, you are well on your way to becoming a great swordsman, Yahiko. Kamiya Kasshin Ryu may not train for ki specifically, but for some swordsmen it comes naturally. I would say that you are one of those."

The boy looked at him with wide eyes. "Really?"

"Really. Here we are."

They had stopped in front a stall filled with a wild assortment of strange toys and devices, some made of materials Yahiko had never seen before. The owner turned to them and started to greet Kenshin with a friendly grin but then he suddenly tensed, his eyes growing wary. Yahiko stared at the shopkeeper in confusion. //What's up with this guy? //

"Good afternoon," Kenshin greeted politely with a slight bow. "I see you remember me. I wanted to apologize for my behavior the other day."

The man frowned uncertainly. "Yes, well, at the same time I'm sorry if I said something to offend you."

Kenshin shook his head. "No, it was nothing you said. I was not entirely myself, you could say. I was wondering if you had any more of those glass items my wife was looking at when we were here."

The man's apprehension vanished in the light of a possible sale. "Oh! Of course, sir!" Yahiko watched him dig around in a narrow cabinet set against the side of the stall. Out of one of the drawers he pulled out what looked like an angular chunk of glass, and the boy wondered what it could possibly be. Kenshin paid for it and bowed farewell to him.

"That's it?" He asked as they headed back in the direction of the dojo. "That's what we came all the way out here for, a piece of glass?"

Kenshin just laughed, an easy, untroubled sound that Yahiko had rarely heard from the former assassin. "I'll show you what it does later," he promised.

"Just like you'll show me fighting skills and ki, right?" Yahiko said boldly, giving Kenshin a meaningful look.

The older swordsman nearly faltered in his stride, but he covered his surprise well. "I don't recall having agreed to anything like that, Yahiko."

"Then why'd you ask me out here today? You said yourself you thought you'd made a mistake in refusing to show me anything. This is stuff I'm going to need, admit it!"

Kenshin sighed heavily. "You're right, I did say that didn't I? Well, we'll see. I'll have to talk it over with Kaoru. Remember you're her student, not mine."

"Yeah, that's true." Yahiko agreed sullenly. Still, it wasn't exactly a "no" on Kenshin's part, and inside the boy cheered at his small victory.

~*~

As they neared the dojo Kenshin looked up to see Sano standing outside the gates, hands shoved in his pockets and ever-present fishbone hanging from his mouth, waiting for them. "Oi, Rurouni!" He greeted with a friendly wave. Kenshin grinned back.

"What's going on?" Yahiko asked curiously.

Sano shrugged. "The Fox wanted to have a chat with Jou-chan, so they went walking down to the docks. We're supposed to go meet them."

"Cool, Western ships!" Yahiko’s face shone with excitement. "Let's go! Race you!"

"Yahiko, wait!" Kenshin called after him, but the boy was already sprinting down the road.

Sano chuckled. "Kid's got way too much energy."

Kenshin smiled. "Aa, that he does. He's still young though. I envy him a little sometimes."

Sano glanced at his friend in surprise but Kenshin was already moving. Sano hurried to walk beside him. He kept up easily with Kenshin's short stride. Their companionable silence began comfortably enough, but after several minutes Sano found himself fidgeting.

"What's on your mind?" Kenshin asked suddenly, not looking at his friend.

"What? Oh…nothin' really." Sano shrugged uncomfortably.

Kenshin frowned and studied Sano's profile in the fading afternoon light. He could read the younger man easily, and thinking back to one particular moment he could guess what was bothering the young street fighter. "I'm sorry for some of the things I—"

"No." Kenshin blinked, taken aback. "No, Kenshin. Don't apologize. You do way too much of that as it is."

The swordsman couldn't meet Sano's hard stare. "But…"

"Look, I was a lousy friend and so were you. Let's just leave it at that, okay?"

Kenshin scowled down at his feet. "That doesn't change the fact that it happened, Sano."

"It wasn't your fault, you idiot! It doesn't really matter anyway. You're whole again, that's what's important."



Kenshin shook his head, clearly agitated. "Whole or not, it doesn't forgive the things I did."

The younger man growled in frustration. "For Kami's sake Kenshin, why do you do this to yourself? You always think it's your fault!"

"Because it always is. I make bad choices. I always have."

Sano immediately leapt to defend him. "Now don't you—"

"You can't deny this Sano!" Kenshin looked him full in the face now, his expression determined—and angry, but the anger wasn't directed at Sano. "I chose to become hitokiri, and even more than that I chose to stay hitokiri. I chose to leave you behind when I went to Kyoto."

Sano suddenly stilled, his eyes wide. Kenshin nodded slightly. "I would have died there if it hadn't been for you. And in this situation I chose to take advantage of what had happened to do something…dishonorable." Kenshin met the other's startled gaze with one of sadness. "Once again, you were there to save me from myself."

For the first time he could remember, Sano was speechless. *"…saved me from myself…"*

Kenshin smiled, his eyes tired but grateful. "I'm glad you're here, Sanosuke."

Sano struggled with himself. He was strangely flattered, touched, and infuriated all at the same time. "Now wait just a damn minute, Kenshin!"

The swordsman had resumed walking; he paused mid-stride and glanced back over his shoulder in surprise. "What?"

"There is no way in hell Battousai would be apologizing like this! You said you took advantage; maybe you did, maybe you didn't, but the fact is that if you didn't hold your feelings in the way you do all the time, he wouldn't have flown out of control in the first place! You ever think of that? You can't just keep hiding a whole half of your personality!"

"I'm not hiding it!" Kenshin blinked wide eyes. "I'm truly grateful—"

"Bullshit! That's the rurouni talking! I don't believe for one minute that all that frustration and anger you had before just magically went away!"

"Where are you going with this, Sano?" Kenshin's eyes glinted icily. "I thought you said that wasn't my fault. Now that things are back to normal, wouldn't it make sense that those feelings would be gone now?"

"No, because I've seen you snap one too many times under pressure, and frankly it scares me. You don't have to keep up that rurouni mask around us anymore. You can be yourself, dammit! You can tell us what's on your mind. It's what you need to do sometimes."

Kenshin glared at him, and Sano tensed at the ominous amber rings that had formed around the rurouni's violet irises. //Whoa, that's different than before… //

"If it's all the same to you Sano, I will decide what I do and do not need to do. To be blunt, being a jackass didn't get me very far when I was younger, and I'd rather not continue bad habits. Being polite can be frustrating sometimes, yes, but it makes my life easier." His eyes softened then, the gold edges fading back to violet. "Still, I will keep your words in mind. Regardless, it does not change what I said before."

Sano sighed heavily and fell into step beside his friend, shaking his head in mild disgust. //I'll never get this guy. // "Whatever you say, man. Just watch yourself, all right?"

~*~

Sano and Kenshin approached the dock where the others were gathered watching the sunset. Their laughter carried on the breeze, and Kenshin smiled at his wife as she turned and waved at him in greeting.

"This has been a hell of day," Sano grumbled.

Kenshin silently agreed. He was both physically and mentally exhausted, but even Sano's irritation couldn't spoil his reasonably good mood. Kenshin was quite surprised at how long his cheer had lasted, actually. He was used to his own cyclical moods and since he well understood the reasons behind them, having remained relatively happy the entire day despite Akari's visit and his argument with Sano, was downright strange. He wondered if it had anything to do with his dream from that morning. Bits and pieces of it had been slowly coming back to him over the course of the day, including some of the conversation between his three selves. Thinking hard, he came to a sudden realization. //The three of us left that field together. As one. Together… //

Kaoru watched him with a thoughtful expression as he approached. Sano meanwhile wandered over to chat with Megumi, and he was relieved to see the younger man’s sullen mood replaced by a genuine smile as he bantered easily with the woman doctor. They moved away, escorting Yahiko as he darted away down the waterfront, excitedly pointing out the impressive variety of ships moored there. Satisfied that all was well with his friends, Kenshin turned to his wife. She smiled at him. "How did your errand go?"

"Just fine." He reached for her hands, watching her eyes widen as he pressed something into her palms. "I brought something for you," he whispered. He felt her ki flutter slightly in nervousness she lifted her hands and opened them.

"Oh…" she whispered. In the glow of the sunset the prism seemed to glitter with a life of its own and she titled it from side to side, fascinated by the way the sun's image was reflected multiple times inside its clear facets. "It's beautiful!"

The voices of the others had grown distant and Kenshin wondered if they had done this on purpose, creating a rare moment of privacy for the couple after their harrowing week. //That’s unusually considerate of them. It’s probably just this once. // He smiled, both at the thought and at the fact that Kaoru chose that moment to step forward into his arms, resting her cheek against his shoulder with a contented sigh. "Thank you so much," she whispered. Her ki had changed dramatically from that morning, her fear replaced by warmth and trust. It was a tremendous relief to him.

"It is I who should thank you, Kaoru." Kenshin closed his eyes and rested his face against her hair, still warm from the sun. She had done so much for him, this young woman he'd grown to love so deeply since their eventful meeting a year ago. It had taken him his entire life to find a real home. In the ten long years he'd wandered he'd always had to keep his identity a secret, using an elaborate facade of politeness to protect both himself and others from the terrible things he had done in the past. Never in all that time had there been a place where people welcomed him openly, knowing full well who and what he was, but loving him despite it. Before Kaoru, he had believed such a place to be nothing more than a fanciful dream, something a bloodstained warrior like him could never have. The woman who would become his wife chose from that first day to accept him without question or regret, making a space for him in her heart that would always be there to welcome him, no matter how far he wandered. "I wouldn't have made it through this without you. I am too fortunate to have such wonderful people in my life."

Kaoru snuggled against him, turning in his arms so they both faced the deep orange sunset. She moved his hands so they were clasped loosely over her obi. "You say that as if you still feel you don’t deserve such happiness. Whatever am I going to do with you?"

Kenshin chuckled, a deep rumble against her back. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

Kaoru just smiled. She held the prism up before them, turning it slowly until it lit with a strange orange fire. "You'd never think," she said slowly, mesmerized by the light, "that something so simple in appearance could do such amazing things. Reminds me of someone I know."

"Kaoru!" Kenshin said in her ear, laughter in his embarrassed protest.

"Kenshin…I have something I need to ask you."

His laughter died. "Yes?"

"You remember what I said to you that day in the clinic, about how I didn't just marry the rurouni?"

He was silent for a moment. //I could never forget that day, Kaoru. Never. // "Yes."

"I meant every word," she continued, staring out at the shimmering sea. "The part of you who is rurouni, who is gentle and sweet and so polite…I love that. We all love that. But you're a human being Kenshin, and no one is that perfect. It's okay for you to get upset sometimes. It's okay for you to let us know how you really feel. I want to know when you're hurt or upset, scared or angry. "

"Sano said much the same thing," Kenshin said after a while, his voice distant. "You seemed so nervous this morning. I was afraid I'd done something wrong."

"No…I'm sorry I made you worry, Kenshin. I was just being silly."

He was silent for a moment, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. "I must admit that before all this happened, what you asked me before might have been impossible."

"Emotion isn't easy for you, not since I've known you." She said understandingly. "Is it different now?"

"Yes…it really is." Kenshin was surprised by his own admission, but he knew it was the truth.

"I'm so glad," she whispered, holding the prism between their hands. "I'm so glad you were able to come back to me."

He held her close. "I will always come back, beloved. Always." They watched the sun set together, the prism held close to both their hearts.

~*~

The evening began to cool as the sun set, the sudden chill stirring Akari from the light doze she'd been in for most of the afternoon. She was so *bored*, but she'd made a promise and she would be damned if she was going to break it. She glanced over to where her husband had been sitting and when she saw his spot empty. "Yanagi?"

Akari stood quickly, looking around her with the beginnings of panic. To her relief she spotted her husband standing several feet away, looking up the steep bank that led to the bridge. Walking up to him she peered curiously into his face. His expression was still blank, but that faint glimmer of life was still there in his eyes. "Is it time to go back?" she asked him. To her astonishment, he turned his head slightly towards her. The faintest of nods was all she got, but that simple gesture was enough to bring a smile to her face for the first time in days. She took his hand, her face and heart determined. "All right then…let's go."


Owari

A/N: And…that's it. Wow. Thank you all for sticking with me through this crazy story. It's truly been an amazing experience. I borrowed the kendo demonstration idea from I think Istoria's "Last Chance at Glory" (either that or Zosocrowe's "The Giant and the Lion Cub", I can't remember which one) and the idea of the top being a gift from Kenshin's real father came from someone's one-shot fic, but it's been so long since I read it I can't remember the author or title -_-;; If that person's reading this, let me know so I can give you proper credit! Click to the next chapter for end notes, future

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