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My Life: Chapter 29 - Attack

by Fitz

Mr. Sagara must not have spoken to Sano about our argument, or if he did, Sano did not say anything. He was as cocky as ever when we met up Wednesday evening.

“Megumi’s coming to my place for Thanksgiving this year,” he announced, slamming his locker shut and following me out into the gym. “You’re still invited, of course.”

“Sure,” I agreed. “I’ve got to talk to Kaoru first, though. I think she wants to do something together.”

“Bring her along, too!” Sano grinned. “Dad would love to meet her.”

I smiled.

“I’ll talk to her,” I allowed.

“Great!” He clapped his hands together and stretched his arms over his head. “Let’s start this game!”

We were some of the last to arrive, and the other guys grinned and waved us in. Just my luck, I was stuck across from Mike again. Thus began another session of attempting to keep my feet out from under his. The real kick in the butt was that he’d brought a friend along--a friend to witness, or perhaps help create, the humiliation that was yet to come.

Ironically, I first saw him when Mike somehow slipped his feet under mine, sending me sprawling back, stumbling in attempt to remain upright. I might have remained on my feet had I not glanced to the side to see the vaguely familiar figure of Chou’s roommate, leaning casually against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. The distraction cost me, and I hit the floor.

“Shit!” I groaned, wincing at the newly acquired bruises.

“Watch your step there, Red,” Mike murmured, offering his hand to me. Attempting not to be spiteful, I accepted his assistance and let him haul me to my feet. I nearly fell again as he overcompensated, lifting me off the ground almost entirely. I stumbled into him, jerked back, and glared into his brown eyes.

“My name is Kenshin,” I reminded him icily. “And is it so difficult to back off a little?”

“And let you take control of the game?” he smirked. I growled impatiently, and we rejoined the game. It was difficult to stay focused, however, when the person guarding me kept making small talk. “You were looking at the new guy.”

“New guy?” I glanced at Kevin warily. The man was smirking, probably amused by my abrupt communion with the floor. “You know him?”

“Kevin?”

Shit again. They did know each other. No wonder both of them hated me. Hadn’t it been less than a week ago that Chou said all of Kevin’s friends were just like him? Sure enough...

“He’s my pal,” Mike grinned. “Known him for years.”

“That’s great,” I grunted, hopping back when he got too close again. He was towering over me so I couldn’t even see the game. The sounds were there, proving it was still going, but damned if I was witness to any of it. And as if being that close was not good enough, he pressed forward again.

The idiot tripped up the both of us, and down we went. Mike falling along with me was not overly surprising. The way he played, it was bound to happen sometime. What startled me was the way he suddenly grabbed me, as if I could hold him up--as if I would want to. If falling to the solid concrete was not bad enough, I had a six-foot, two-hundred pound man attached to my arm and shirt, his brutal grip forcing me to take the brunt of the impact.

It was not pleasant, not that falling on the gym floor ever was. My back hit first, knocking the wind from my lungs. As if to add insult to injury, Mike’s elbow slammed into my stomach, much of his weight behind the blow, and my eyes failed me momentarily. Distantly, I felt my head hit the floor, but I was so separated from myself at the point that it barely bothered me. Everything else was negligible.

Coughing when I could not inhale was just a painful experience. For a moment, I thought my chest would implode before I finally was able to suck in a harsh breath of air, and my vision cleared enough for me to see Mike’s face. What a thing to wake up to.

He wasn’t smiling. I half expected him to be laughing his head off, but there was little amusement in his gaze. His eyes--all... three of them?--were dark with some angry expression.

I was in too much pain at the moment to be overly concerned with it. Something was wrong with my arm, I realized, not to mention my head was spinning from the concussion. At the top of my list of hurts was my stomach. I could taste blood in my throat, and I dazedly wondered if perhaps that elbow in my gut had not done a little bit of damage.

The guys were shouting, clambering around us worriedly. Mike was still on me, panting as if he had actually been hurt by the fall. I was ready to strangle him, but I stopped when I realized it hurt too much to use my left arm. Instead, I groaned and let my other arm fall back to the floor.

“Hey, Jensen! Give the poor guy a little room to breathe!” Kevin’s voice filtered through the rest, and it occurred to me that he was talking to Mike. But he’d addressed the man by another name... one I had not heard in the time since I’d met him.

Jensen...

Where had I heard that before?

“You guys okay?”

“Just a sec...” Mike grunted.

Jensen...

Mike shoved himself to his hands and knees, glaring down at me balefully. I was not the one who had insisted on being so close that it caused this accident. He was not the one with blood on his tongue.

Jensen...

God, why was it bothering me so?

“Sorry ‘bout that, Red,” Mike grunted. He had yet to pull away, and he continued to stare at me, dark eyes forbidding, his sweaty dark hair falling toward me.

Dark eyes... hands reaching toward me.

Jensen...

Oh... my... god...

“I heard you had a run in with Jensen.”

No... it wasn’t possible...

Mike smirked, a vicious sneer. A hand, rough and not altogether unfamiliar, scraped over my cheek.

“Tall guy... Brown eyes, dark hair.”

Mike wasn’t--

“Come on,” Mike muttered. “You’re okay.”

“Come on... It’ll be fun.”

“Get off me,” my voice was choked, and blood gurgled unpleasantly in my throat. “Get away from me.”

He smiled, a slow, lazy action.

The blood was rushing in my ears, drowning out most everything around me. I couldn’t see straight, although if that was from the concussion or the rising panic, I did not know.

His face was the last thing I wanted to see, but it was all I could focus on. I remembered a smile.

“Running, baby? Think you can get away?”

I couldn’t breathe, and this time it had nothing to do with my injuries. The world tilted, falling away from me.

Don’t...

“Get up, idiot. You’re crushing him.”

Please...

“He’s fine.”

Something in my shirt, yanking me up. I couldn’t stand. Not yet. I couldn’t even see.

Hand in my hair, forcing my head back--

Oh, god... help me...

The light rushed into my eyes with a suddenness that was almost blinding. Mike’s face loomed in my vision. His hands were in my shirt.

No!

I did not have the balance to throw him. He was there, set up perfectly for one of the techniques Kaoru had shown me months ago. But my head was swimming, my stomach sick and hurting, my arm limp at my side because I did not want to risk the pain of moving it.

I did it anyway.

It was nothing fancy--nothing like what I’d seen in movies. He outweighed me by nearly a hundred pounds. The move did send him crashing to the floor behind me, the sound of the impact coming as a relief.

Down I went, my legs so much jelly. Someone grabbed for me. I shoved him away, forcing my legs to hold me. It almost worked, and it did not hurt so much when my knees hit the floor, my arm nearly giving way when I landed on all fours.

Still, I could not breathe. I couldn’t think straight. It was a jumbled mess of accusations and warnings to flee. Above all else, was this overwhelming, fear-induced fury. He had to go.

“That was you!” The words hissed and rumbled in my throat, and I coughed. Blood splattered gruesomely over the floor in front of me. Squeezing my eyes shut, I gasped for air.

The rage was strangling me. The world was too bright, too loud, too much. I was going to kill him.

“You son of a bitch,” I panted.

“Come on, Kenshin,” Sano’s voice sounded normal. Hands that could only be his gripped my arms, too strong to push past. “Lay down. Someone called an ambulance.”

“I’ll kill him,” I whispered. I would just have to do it before the ambulance got there. “How could he do that?”

He was already on his feet. There was a tiny smirk on his repulsive face.

Consuming, irrepressible hatred. Uncontrollable fury. I shoved forward.

“You son of a bitch!” My voice echoed crazily in the gymnasium, but I ignored it. People were jumping back, but not him. He didn’t care. I couldn’t get past Sano. Sano had his arm under mine, curling over my shoulder. Sano’s other arm was over my chest. I pushed forward again, trying to force a path through him.

“Holy shit!” Someone else. Someone insignificant. He was still confident, smiling.

“Don’t laugh, don’t you dare laugh, you fucking--!” Pain screamed through my shoulder, and I cut off, choking on the bile that rose into my throat unexpectedly.

It was all incoherent after that. The furious words tumbled from me, none of them making sense--just mindless hatred. Sano was shouting in my ear, but I ignored it. My entire being was focused on one thing: breaking that man’s neck.

Suddenly, he was no longer there. I blinked, looking around, trying to find where he’d gone, but he was nowhere to be found.

“Geez.” I recognized the voice but could not place a face to it. “Don’t let him go, Sagara. Who knows who he’ll go after next.”

“Shut up, Luke.” That was Sano. “He’s calming down.”

“Where’d he go?” I asked breathlessly. The adrenaline rush was fading, and my limbs ached with the effort I’d put into escaping Sano.

“Gone,” Sano grunted. “We chased him out. Him and Kevin. Hey... medics are here.”

“Medic?” I echoed dumbly. I felt this sudden urge to cry. This could not be happening to me. Enishi... the card... Jensen... it was getting worse. I tried to ignore it, but he was not going to let me.

“Yeah,” Sano confirmed.

Whatever energy I’d felt before was gone. My body was a dead weight, my eyelids too heavy to hold open. The need to see some blood disappeared, leaving behind a void that I had no idea how to fill. Was that what was meant for me? This emptiness? The hollow feeling of being alone.

“People are not meant to be alone.”

He was right. But I didn’t know what to do. My life was spinning out of my control, and I honestly had no idea how not to be alone.

^_^

After three hours in the emergency room, they sent me home. Uncle Hiko did not bother coming. When he discovered Sano was there, and that my injuries were all minor, he figured he didn’t need to make an appearance.

One of the nurses, who was just getting off his shift, offered us a ride. Sano’s dorm was practically across the street, so he declined, but he made me take up the offer. To be truthful, I was relieved. I was not sure I had the concentration to figure out which bus to take back to the apartment, and even then, I would have to make the walk from the bus stop to the building where I lived. It was a trip I did not dare make alone in the dark.

My body was bruised, but the internal bleeding had nearly stopped by the time I got to the hospital, so they declared it to be fine. My arm they put in a sling, telling me my arm was sprained and that I had to wait some time (which I promptly forgot) before taking the sling off. The concussion was mild, enough to make me dizzy but probably not dangerous. The doctors warned me to stay awake for awhile, but they seemed to forget the pain medication they’d pumped into me before I went. It left me swaying on my feet, barely able to remain conscious.

The nurse chatted cheerfully all the way across town to my apartment, although about what I could not say. It was all I could do to give him the proper directions, let alone make small talk.

Thanking him for the ride, I let myself into the apartment building before he drove off. Trudging up the steps to the third floor, I went to our door and pushed it open, grateful it was unlocked and I did not have to fumble for the key.

The place was dark, the only light coming from one of the bathroom doors. No one was in the bathroom as far as I could see. The time creeping up on midnight, I had expected everyone to be asleep, but the noise coming from the sleeping area suggested otherwise.

What was happening over there most certainly was not sleeping. If it was, then it was one hell of a wet dream--did girls even get those? The clothing on the floor in the light by the bathroom was not Kaoru’s, Misao’s, or Omasu’s. It was far too big to be mine, not to mention I never left my clothes strewn about like that.

It was something I could have done without witnessing. They had yet to notice me, but they sure as hell figured it out when I slammed the door shut. Even averting my eyes, I could hear their startled voices. I made my way to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. Leaning against the wall, I slid down to sit on the floor. Maybe I could spend the night there.

Not two minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

“Kenshin?” Misao called hesitantly. “Are you decent?”

“Are you?” I shot back. I didn’t have the patience for this.

The door cracked open, and she peered in nervously.

“Kenshin, I’m so sorry!” she murmured, finally pushing the door completely open when she saw I was not in the way. “It was so late, I thought you weren’t coming in tonight, and--what happened?!” She dropped to her knees beside me, her hands hovering over me as if she was afraid I might shatter should she touch me. “My god! Are you--?”

I sighed and shook my head.

“Where’s Kaoru?” Of all people, why was Misao the only one there? Omasu was at home, attending some funeral. I knew that. But where was Kaoru? Why wasn’t she here?

“She’s working on a project with some people,” Misao explained. “She said she would be back late. Probably not until one.”

“Fine,” I glared at my raised knees resentfully. “Go back to your boyfriend.”

“But you’re--”

“Just leave me alone,” I snapped. She recoiled, her hand jumping out of my line of vision. There was a whisper of cloth, the click of the door, and she was gone.

As I had requested, I was alone. It was not what I really wanted. But Misao did not want to sit with me, and I did not want her clumsy attempts at comfort. Yet... it would have been better than complete solitude.

Draping my good arm over my knees, I leaned forward against it and closed my eyes. I was too numb to feel much of anything. The shock had not faded completely, leaving me cold and slightly ill. Thus far, my control had been very good. I had not cried or gotten sick. Even with the wavering vision, I had not passed out. It seemed that I was not doing anything, as usual.

^_^

I must have fallen asleep, sitting against the wall. If not, I most likely would have noticed someone walking into the bathroom. As it was, I nearly leapt out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Shhh... it’s just me.”

Panting from the scare, I blinked rapidly to bring my eyes into focus. Kaoru was crouching beside me, looking pretty worried.

“Misao called me,” she murmured. “Are you okay?”

As if she would have believed me if I said I was fine. I opened my mouth to explain, but the words would not come. Swallowing, I shook my head and looked away. The seriousness of the situation was elevating in my mind.

Chou had mentioned that Kevin had scary friends. Mike... Jensen... he was one of Kevin’s friends, which meant that there could be others... worse. Enishi. Kevin had been in the apartment, so he knew where I was living. Kevin knew, so Jensen would know, and Enishi obviously knew... Who knew what they would do with that information?

“Kenshin... what happened?” Her hand was on my face, and I shuddered. I still felt that dirty path of his hand on my face, patting my cheek as an afterthought. Everyone else thought he was trying to wake me. He knew it would upset me. “Kenshin?”

“He attacked me,” I whispered, realization flooding through me as I said those words. The way he’d grabbed me, how he played the game, shoving in so close... it had been planned. Kevin called him by his surname, which was not uncommon, but before that, Mike had made every effort not to tell anyone. The fact that Kevin was even there when he created such an accident was far too coincidental.

“What?” Kaoru gasped. “Who? What did he do?!”

Lifting my eyes to meet her anxious gaze, I found myself swallowing back the lump in my throat. I had been okay before, but as I considered the full extent of what Enishi was doing, it was like watching my world falling apart before me. With Sano’s anger at both Mike’s behavior and mine, it had been easy to ignore it. Kaoru’s concern, her natural empathy was more difficult to push away.

“He--he...”

Come on...

“I can’t--” It was gone. All my control went flying out the door. I choked on a sob, mad at myself for not being able to stop it.

The next thing I knew, my arm was around Kaoru’s neck, my face pressed into her collar. Her arms were tight around me, hurting my arm, but it hardly mattered. My stomach ached with each gasping breath I took, but I ignored that as well. Kaoru was unaware, rocking back and whispering some nonsense in my ear. She didn’t need to. I was just grateful she was there.

We sat like that for a long time. I did not want to leave that moment. It was so much better not to have to face it. When finally we broke apart, I quickly wiped my cheeks, embarrassed by the tears. I did not know what to say. Looking down, I cleared my throat uncomfortably.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

“It’s okay,” Kaoru replied quietly. “Now... what happened? Your arm... is it--”

“Sprained,” I interjected. “It was...” I sighed, glancing up and then back at my lap. “Remember when I told you about that guy in basketball who liked to pick on me?”

“He did this?” Kaoru demanded sharply. I flinched and hated myself for it.

“Yes, but--”

“I hope they kicked him out,” Kaoru was livid. “This has gone too far--”

“I knew him,” I interrupted her, trying not to smile. Her anger was understandable. I would have reacted similarly if she was the one showing up with her arm in a sling. The smile faded as I explained the rest. “You know... about what happened when I was in high school.”

She looked at me quizzically, and I realized I would actually have to say it.

“When that guy tried to--” It was not possible. I choked on it. Swallowing hard, I shook my head roughly and glanced away again.

“When you were assaulted,” Kaoru said slowly, probably trying to make it sound less harsh than what it really was. I nodded quickly.

“Mike...” I could not get my voice above a whisper. “I didn’t know... until today that he was--”

“Oh, my god!” Kaoru breathed. “My god... Oh, Kenshin...”

Lowering my eyes, I shook my head again. Coughing to clear my throat, I continued.

“No one else knew,” I murmured. “They thought I was crazy. And he just kept smiling. He knew I couldn’t hurt him. Sano wouldn’t let me. No one knew why I was so mad.”

“Then... your arm...” Kaoru inquired. I snorted.

“He all but body-slammed me into the floor.”

“Bastard...” she whispered. “In front of everyone?”

“He tripped me up,” I sighed. “Made it look like an accident.”

“Does Sanosuke know?”

“I never told him,” I shook my head to the negative. “I can’t explain it to him.” I never would have explained it to Kaoru if she had not figured it out on her own. She must have understood that, though, because she merely nodded and reached for my arms.

“Well... come on then,” she ordered gently. “You look wiped. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

“The door locked?” I had to ask, though I knew full well that a deadbolt couldn’t keep some people out. Even I could pick a simple lock easily.

“I’ll double-check,” she assured me. “Let’s get you out of these clothes...”

“I can dress myself,” I mumbled, flushing uncomfortably under the attention.

“...Right,” she nodded. “Well, it’s just me and Misao here right now, so we don’t mind.”

“Aoshi’s gone?” I asked dryly, glancing over to the kitchen where Misao sat, perched on the counter. At least she had the grace to blush.

“I’m really sorry about that!” she said again. “If I knew--”

“Right, right,” I waved her off, going to the dresser to pull out my pajamas. “You would have gone to his place.”

“Kenshin!”

I smirked, grateful I did not have to force it. I fought with the drawer a bit, finally getting the thing open with just one hand, and studied the contents for a few seconds before pulling out an oversized sweatshirt and flannel pants. It was getting cool, and I could not seem to keep warm anyway, so I was not overly worried about getting hot in the night.

“So what’s the deal with the sling, dear?” Misao wondered boldly. I glanced at her guiltily, then back at the clothes I was changing into.

“Accident at the gym,” I said curtly.

“In basketball?” Misao asked incredulously. “What did they do? Try to use you as the ball?”

I frowned. It never failed to irritate me when someone who should have known better treated what was obviously a serious situation so callously. The joking would have been okay if it had not been so insulting.

“Misao,” Kaoru said sharply, cutting off anything I might have said.

“Humm?”

“Zip it.”

“Oh,” Misao actually sounded apologetic. “Sorry.”

I had to take off the sling to change, which was a relief. I hated being restrained like that, but I knew myself well enough to know that if I went without the sling, I would make the injury worse. Even so, I decided against wearing it to bed. That just would have been uncomfortable, and I needed all the help I could get if I was planning on sleeping at all that night.

“Right... so I was thinking,” Misao started talking again as I kicked off my gym sweats and pulled on my pajama pants. Yes, I was changing in front of two girls. I could not have cared less at that point in time. However, I did pause long enough to respond to her before she could finish her thought.

“That’s a rarity,” I stated. Petty, yes. It felt good to say it.

“Very funny, Kenshin,” Misao rolled her eyes, then grinned. “Anyway, how about we all play hooky tomorrow and go shopping? I know I’m doing all right in all my classes.”

“Yay,” I grumbled. “Shopping.” Although... it sounded better than trudging through classes. All I had were discussion groups anyway. No one would notice if I missed a day.

“Actually,” Kaoru smiled. “That sounds really fun. Kenshin?”

“Sure.” I picked up my clothes and dropped them in my laundry hamper. It really did sound nice. For once, Misao was coming up with a good idea. “Sounds good.”

“Let’s go to bed now, though,” Kaoru suggested. “Or we’ll all be zombies tomorrow.”

Misao and I agreed wholeheartedly. Shutting off the lights as we went, we trudged across the apartment to the beds. In the dark, I did not appreciate it when Kaoru grabbed my arm, startling me horribly.

“Geez!” I gasped.

“Sorry!” Kaoru said quickly. “I just wanted to ask if you’d be okay tonight.”

“I’ll survive,” I assured her. “Look, I’m six feet away from you.”

“Yes, but--”

“It’s just the night,” I sighed. “I’ll be okay.”

“Okay...” she murmured reluctantly. I smiled and leaned forward, grateful I did not miss my intended destination. Kaoru made a little sound of surprise when I kissed her, but I ignored it and pulled back.

“Good night,” I whispered.

“...Good night...”

I found my bed and slipped under the covers. Whatever medication those doctors had given me earlier was still in my system, apparently, because I dropped off to sleep almost immediately. Never had I been so grateful for drugs. I fell into the dreamless sleep caused by such chemicals and did not wake until after nine o’clock the next morning. Not surprisingly, I was still the first person awake.

^_^

I rediscovered the frustration of working with an injured arm. Getting dressed was only minorly troublesome. Showering, on the other hand, was a bit more challenging. Everything was fine until I got to my hair. Shampooing and rinsing with only one hand was a pain. Even worse was drying off. I could use my other arm, but it hurt, and the natural inclination was to shy away from doing anything that would make the hurt come.

In the end, I asked Kaoru and Misao to help me pull my hair back. I might have been put through less pain had I done it myself.

“For god’s sake!” I whined as Kaoru yanked my hair up. “I just want my hair back, not a face lift!”

“I’m not pulling that hard,” Kaoru retorted. “For someone who does not so much as complain when he’s got a bruise the size of Mexico on his stomach, you’re sure whiny when it comes to your precious hair.”

“My precious hair,” I echoed. “You are the one who won’t let me cut it.”

“Would you just--Nnnngh!” she growled in annoyance. “Can I dry this?”

“I never have this much trouble,” I grumbled, letting her pull me back to the bathroom.

“Yeah,” Kaoru agreed. “And you look like you just rolled out of bed half the time.”

I stared at her reflection in the mirror, but she just smiled sweetly and held up the blow dryer. Wrinkling my nose at her, I closed my eyes and waited for her to be finished.

^_^

It was difficult to keep my mind off Enishi and the previous day’s events, but Misao and Kaoru kept me running most of the time, so I did not have many chances to think about it. We went to the Mall of America, and they dragged me around into clothing stores and candle shops. We ate at the Rainforest Cafe, which we all decided was not worth the wait. Not to mention the sudden ‘rainstorm’ was distracting, and we had to talk over the false thunder as we ate our overpriced hamburgers.

After the shopping, we went to Camp Snoopy, where the girls ran me through every ride I was allowed on and even a few that I really wasn’t. I starkly refused to go on the ‘Mighty Ax.’ Not only would the movement upset my shoulder, but I hated rides that went upside-down. We did go on the roller coaster and the carousel. Kaoru and Misao pushed me through the line to the ‘Guess your weight/age/birthday’ stand. Misao lost her dollar, the girl guessing her weight easily.

“You should have gone with age,” I muttered, earning a light nudge in the side compliments of Kaoru’s elbow. Misao never heard me.

Kaoru picked up one of those giant balloon hammers that squeaked when she pounded it against something. It was annoying, and I found myself victim to the hammer-to-the-head attack more than once, although she attacked Misao far more.

I ended up losing as well. She guessed my age exactly, which surprised me because people usually came up a few years shy of the actual thing. Although, as the woman told us, “You girls all have fun, now,” I thought perhaps she should have put up a gender option with the guessing game. I would have won then.

We hit the food court for some cheap snacks that evening, and I noted with some surprise that we had been in the mall for nearly six hours. Never in my life (working not included) had I been in a mall for such a long period. Kaoru and Misao were not ready to stop, though. We went into several of the more artsy stores, the video shop, and even stopped in Barnes & Noble. They had to drag me out of the book store, promising a cinnamon roll from Cinnabon and a trip to Hot Topic.

The mall was closing as we left, metal gates lowering over the storefronts. Kaoru cranked up the radio on the way back to school, so even Misao could barely be heard over it. It was amusing to watch Kaoru and Misao sing at the top of their lungs with the Friends theme song.

“I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU! When the rain starts to pour! I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU!” It rang in my ears, but I could not help but laugh.

“You two are weird,” I announced.

“What?!” Misao hollered.

“I said--!”

“HUH?!” Kaoru laughed. “Kenshin, we can’t hear you!”

“Never mind,” I sighed.

“WHAT?!”

I laughed and shook my head, wincing when the DJ came on to announce the next song. Then, we were listening to Phil Collins singing some tune from Tarzan. It sounded really odd at top decibel.

It was ten o’clock by the time we returned to the apartment. For as exhausted as I was, Kaoru and Misao seemed energized and ready to go for another several hours. At least they were gracious enough to allow me time to use the bathroom and change into my night clothes. The instant I was out of the bathroom, though, they pushed me to the futon and announced we would be watching a movie.

We ended up watching Josie and the Pussycats. The ten minutes I saw were really dumb, and I could not help but feel sorry for those actors. I mean... they would have had to pay me some major money if I was going to behave like that in front of people. Misao and Kaoru, of course, were giggling like crazy. What was worse, Misao started singing along with the introductory song. It was sometime after that when I fell asleep.

I didn’t wake up again until Kaoru pulled me off the futon and sent me to bed.

^_^

Bang.

The ball hit the floor. It jumped up and met a hand which immediately sent it slamming down again.

Bang.

“Get the ball, Kenshin.” Kaoru’s voice urged. I looked up, and she smiled at me, slapping the ball to the floor.

Bang.

“You’ve got to get to me.”

Bang.

“And I’ll give you the ball.” She moved back, waiting for me to follow.

Bang.

“But you have to reach me first,” she reminded me.

Bang.

Grinning, I gave chase. I couldn’t see her, so I waited to hear her speak. I waited for the sound of the ball, hitting the ground. I waited... and it never came.

“Kaoru?”

Moving through the dark, I searched blindly for her. The ball was secondary, really. I wanted to reach Kaoru. She would laugh with me. She would take my hands, pull me around, and tell me to lighten up. I wanted to lighten up. But I had to reach her first, just like she said.

“Kaoru!”

“You don’t need them.”

What? I knew him. He was that guy I hated in the rehab clinic. Of course... I hated almost everyone there. His dark eyes gleamed at me, and I thought of other people with dark eyes.

“You don’t need anyone,” Enishi’s voice hissed in my ear, and I drew away. “You’re better off without anyone. No one to hold you down...”

I didn’t need...

“No one to make you mad...”

Never needed to be--

“Sad... to make you cry...”

Nothing would hurt me again... But... then why am I so scared?

“Come on...”

Never... Nothing...

“It’ll be fun!”

Dark, forbidding eyes. A hand reaching toward me. Another, buried in my hair.

I’m crying... I can’t stop. I’m too afraid.

Dark eyes. A light comes on. But it’s not a light... It’s...

Dark eyes... pale, pale blond hair... a manic grin.

Oh god...

“Come on...” A deepened voice.

No.

“It’ll be fine.”

NO!!

My eyes snapped open, my breath catching in my throat. Heart pounding, chest heaving, I stared into the darkness, disoriented and terrified.

A dream, I had to remind myself. It was just a dream.

It made sense, even. After ignoring thoughts of Enishi and that last attack all day, of course I would dream about it. The worry, the constant tension... it consumed every bit of me, and it was reflected in my unguarded sleep.

The logic of that did not help much. The effort needed to calm my breathing was something not easily come by at two in the morning. Sliding free of my sweaty sheets, I hoped I didn’t wake anyone. I put too much weight on my left arm, and I winced, hugging it close to me to prevent doing that again.

In the kitchen, I found a cup and managed to fill it with water, despite the shaking of my hands. Some of it actually made it into my mouth, although I spilled a bunch down the front of my sweatshirt.

Cursing softly, I nearly slammed the cup back onto the counter. Remembering the other occupants of the apartment, I slowed the movement at the last minute, splashing more water over my hand before releasing the cup. Just my luck, the cup slipped, and I fumbled for it before finally sending it clattering down into the sink. The noise was painful in the utter silence of the dark room.

“Shit!” I whispered harshly, fighting the desire to hit something. Shoving against the counter in a quiet temper tantrum, I swore again. Would it never end? Apparently not because I stubbed my toe in the darkness when I was making my way back to my bed.

I wound up sitting on the floor, my back to the side of the cupboard at the end of the counter which, incidentally, was where I hit my foot.

“The hell with it!” I hissed, leaning back--cracking my head against the cupboard in the process. The world was against me. I wanted to curl up in a ball and declare that I was never going to face life again.

That’s exactly what I did, minus the ‘never going to face life again’ bit. I knew I would have to go to class in the morning, but at least I could curl over on myself and pout on the floor near the kitchen. No... pout was not a strong enough word. I seethed. I sat there and cursed my own miserable existence along with Enishi, Jensen, and everyone else who seemed convenient at the time. I sobbed, breathy tearless crying that made me wish I would either be silent or break down completely. But I could not do either, so I continued to take ragged, panicky breaths that made me feel sick to my stomach.

Yeah. Life sucked.

^_^