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Broken Pieces: Chapter 19 - the will to destroy

by linay ::: 25.May.2003

Daring to reach another,

I fall forward into fear

The room was silent except for the rustle of silk. A slim young woman, her head bowed demurely, stood alone in the center of the polished room, clothed only in a long, white robe and ankle socks. Subdued by the lush attention already lavished on her, she stood elegantly and motionless. A short, stout woman approached Kaoru, thick layers of rich fabric folded over her arm.

“Pretty,” she whispered, raising a wrinkled finger to lightly touch the pearls dangling from one of the lacquered hairpins that held Kaoru’s hair up in elaborate twists.

Careful not to jangle the hanging baubles too much, Kaoru dipped her head lightly with a shy smile. The woman bustled around her, laying out the various kimono components reverently.

Kaoru closed her eyes.

How far had she fallen? She inhaled, the sharp cedar scent of the hardwood floors washing over her. Had it really been an eternity since she had stood in their family training hall, sparring with her father? Her father had always praised her determination but had she carried it too far? Was helping the assassin too high a price to pay?

But her father had believed that there was good in all men, even his murderers. She clung to that hope, remembering all the tender moments she had shared with Battousai. He had been cold lately, ignoring and avoiding her. She had made no effort to approach him either, puzzled by the knot that tightened her stomach every time he was near. But she could conquer her own misgivings; she had always conquered herself before. She was the one who always smiled in spite of anguish; the one who always hoped, in spite of despair.

Kaoru opened her eyes slowly. She extended her right arm gracefully, letting the cool silk slide over her arm. As the short woman bustled around her, she lifted her other arm. The other silk sleeve of the kimono was drawn onto her shoulder. With her arms raised behind her as if she were a bird preparing to fly, Kaoru let the woman wrap the rich red fabric around her body and adjust the white collar of plain robe underneath. The woman hiked the slippery cloth up so that the edges brushed against Kaoru’s ankles. She wound a stiff belt around Kaoru’s slim waist, tying it tightly. The attendant stepped back, checking that the material hung evenly. Her old face crinkled into an approving smile.

Kenshin stood alone in the serene garden, staring. He had long since clothed himself in traditional garb and his lips were a tight line of impatience. One hand rested lightly on the worn hilt of his sword that was tucked in the belt looped about his waist. Fortunately, at this party, the carrying of swords would most likely be seen as a ceremonial formality.

He turned toward the porch, his sandals scraping the gravel. Gazing at the shoji door, he could faintly see the shadows within. Kaoru was beyond that door, dressing. His impatience grew by the second. She had been in there for more than half an hour. For the assassin, donning the white gi and black hakama had been a matter of routine, as he had often worn these while in sword training. A formal black haori was draped over his shoulders and his flaming red hair was tightly tied in a high ponytail. He took a slow step toward the porch. This, certainly, was a situation he never thought possible.

In a few moments, he would greet the girl - no, the woman - who was his prisoner, his ward, his escort, his … lover? He shook his head. No, not yet that. There was no doubt in his hardened mind that she belonged to him, that she was his to play with. And yet, he held back - to the point of pain. He knew his sudden distance confused her. He could see it in the flashes in her blue eyes when he caught her staring at him and in the way her body flinched away from his whenever he was near. He knew his silence was the source of her consternation but he also knew no other way to force himself to resist.

Kenshin knew his flame might break her.

He looked down at his open palm, studying the rough calluses. Had he grown so soft? Why should he care if he destroyed her? He should be ready to kill her anyway. And yet…

Kenshin curled his fingers into a tight fist.

And yet, he could not bring himself to force her. Somehow, somewhere, sometime her smile, her unconditional smile, had worked its way into his mind and he would not see it falter into tears. He did not want to see her tears. For this, he cursed his employer. Giving him the girl was like giving him the power to crush her beautiful wings. And he would rather kill her swiftly than slowly.

How far had he fallen? Kenshin glanced down briefly at his outfit, his tightly fisted hand dropping to his side. Had it really been an eternity since he had practiced the art of the sword with a clear conscience? His master had always praised his skill, though brusquely. And, wanting to be of use, Kenshin had joined Katsura’s forces. His master had disowned him but he had clung to the hope that one day Kyoto would be a better place because of his small role.

Now, however, he could not see past the blood. But the girl and her naïve idealism shone like moonlight in his dark forest. Her shining smile was like a beacon of peace and he was afraid to touch her, to taint her with the blood on his hands. Through her, he had felt that ancient desire that he had thought had died within him eons ago: the desire to protect.

But he was the destroyer. Crushing the gravel under his wooden sandals, Kenshin stepped toward the porch. The door slid open as he approached, an old woman stepping out.

Kaoru gingerly spread her fingers over the rich, red silk. White and gold blossoms were embroidered along the hem, spreading diagonally over the ankle-length sleeves of the elaborate kimono.

“This will match,” the elderly woman thought aloud, lifting an intricately embroidered sash.

With surprising dexterity, the woman wrapped the long sash around Kaoru’s waist. As Kaoru held her breath, the woman hooked and knotted the fine silk sash into a perfect butterfly knot. Finally, she looped a braided cord around the sash, knotting it carefully. She stepped away, admiring her work.

“Do I look okay?” Kaoru asked timidly.

The woman’s face crinkled into an aged smile. “Beautiful,” she answered, touching Kaoru’s porcelain cheek, “You look beautiful.”

A rosy blush heated Kaoru’s cheeks and she smiled shyly. She spun around on one toe, surprised by the supple feel of the fabric. “Really?”

“Yes. Now, be ready.” The woman’s voice was distant.

Kaoru arched her neck to turn to watch the woman leave the room. The door slid open and shut. She whirled toward the wall, her heart suddenly racing.

“Is she ready yet?” The low voice was instantly recognized.

Kaoru closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. Exhaling, she listened as the attendant’s crinkled voice answered his. She drew in another controlled breath as the sound of the wooden door sliding open came to her ears. Lifting herself with feigned confidence, Kaoru let her eyelids rise slowly.

Her back was to him. His eyes traced the black knots in her piled hair, the white of her neck and the blood red silk hugging her slim form. Hesitantly, she turned her head, the milky quality of her skin sharply contrasting with the crimson kimono. She stepped around in a circle, facing him. Her eyes were searching his face shyly. Abruptly, Kenshin lowered his lids, blinking his eyes into a hooded stare. She must not see what had lingered in his amber eyes.

“Kenshin?” Her voice was soft and reluctant.

“Let’s go.” His voice was hard and emotionless.

Kaoru bowed her head slowly, her eyes clouding over. When she lifted her head again, his veiled eyes saw what he hated seeing in her - doubt. She stepped forward gracefully, stopping by his side to slip her small feet into wooden sandals. Her breath catching in her throat, she looked up at him. He spun away from her.

She must not see.

Dinner was an ordeal to say the least.

Tokugawa proved to be a lavish and generous host and the sake and feminine chatter flowed freely in the banquet hall. Politicians, military strategists and high-ranking civilians who would never have been together in any other circumstances were now drinking and laughing together. The false display of congeniality disgusted Kenshin. As did the nasal voice of the woman singing along to the koto.

Kaoru watched Kenshin’s tense back from where she knelt behind him. In contrast with Katsura’s lively countenance, Kenshin was a stone statue. Not that it came as a surprise to her. Kaoru shifted uncomfortably. Her legs were starting to cramp up. Gritting her teeth, she let her eyes wander the room. Other female escorts had begun to emerge from their positions, pouring sake and chatting with the men. The noise level of the room escalated as women tittered and men guffawed. Snorting softly from her nose, Kaoru decided that she had just about enough of the waiting thing.

Kenshin looked up sharply as a shallow sake cup was placed on the low table in front of him. Kaoru, her elaborate red kimono rustling around her, was kneeling before him and bending forward to reach for the carafe of sake.

“What are you doing?” he hissed.

Kaoru let her eyes flutter upward for a moment before dropping her gaze. “Pouring you sake, sir,” she answered breezily, her tone neither sarcastic nor serious.

Bowing, she filled his cup with a grace never before demonstrated. “I hope it is to your liking, sir,” she said in a lilting, almost teasing tone.

“You-”

“My!” exclaimed the man beside him, “What a perfect escort you have there, Himura!”

Kaoru turned to flash a warm smile at the man, the carafe still balanced in her two dainty hands. Kenshin just glared.

“Your cup is empty,” Kaoru noted softly, dipping her chin.

“So it seems,” the man laughed, an intoxicated blush already obvious on his cheeks, “Will you pour me some drink, fair lady?”

Kaoru laughed softly, bowing as she filled the man’s cup. Very uncharacteristically, she fluttered her eyelashes at him as he sipped the liquor. Kenshin pressed his lips together and threw back his own sake, nearly slamming his cup down on the table.

“Mine is empty,” he announced roughly.

“So it is,” Kaoru smiled, turning back to Kenshin and reaching forward to pour his drink.

As she bowed over the table, Kenshin leaned forward quickly so that his lips were inches from her ear.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he hissed angrily.

“Just what Ikumatsu-san taught me,” Kaoru murmured, her smile unfaltering.

She sat back on her ankles, leaving Kenshin to glare at her. She tilted her head to one side, blinking at him slowly.

“Are you not enjoying the party, sir?” she asked, her voice light.

“Don’t play games with me,” Kenshin whispered crossly through his teeth.

“Ah,” Kaoru blew softly, leaning forward to brush an imaginary crumb from the table, “But it’s all a game. You said so yourself.” Dragging a finger lightly over the table as she sat back, she said loudly, “Besides, you started it.”

Kenshin fought his facial muscles as they struggled to twist into a snarl. She was toying with him where she knew he could not erupt.

“Started what?” interrupted the other man, as he drained his cup.

“Why,” Kaoru answered with a smile, “This conversation of course.”

“Of course!” the man instantly agreed, pushing his cup forward for yet another refill.

Kaoru obliged, smiling. The man smiled back widely.

“You know,” he gurgled, “You’re quite a beautiful woman.”

“Is that so, sir?” Kaoru murmured.

“Why yes!” he responded heartily, “Any man who could not see that is a fool!”

“Such harsh words,” Kaoru replied softly, turning her eyes to Kenshin’s.

“In fact,” the man continued, oblivious to Kenshin’s death stare, “If you were my escort, we wouldn’t even be in this dining room at all!”

“Oh my!” Kaoru exclaimed, “I don’t dare ask where we might be instead!”

The man grinned, slapping his hand on the table. “Let me tell you-”

“My cup,” Kenshin shot out suddenly, “Is empty.”

Kaoru turned a beaming smile to him, lifting the carafe to pour his sake. “So it is, sir,” she affirmed quietly.

“Young lady,” the boisterous man once again interjected, “Do you know why there are two cups on your tray?”

“Sir,” Kaoru laughed, turning away from Kenshin, “Surely you are mocking me.”

“Well, it seems a valid question!” the man chuckled drunkenly, “As you have one empty cup still on your tray.”

“Indeed!” Kaoru looked down, feigning shock.

“Well then,” the man instructed, “Pass me that sake and I’ll fill your cup!”

“How generous,” Kaoru began.

“She won’t be drinking.” Kenshin’s voice was barely a whisper.

“Pardon?” the man beside him asked.

“She won’t be drinking.” His voice had become quiet and dangerous.

“I think,” the man laughed, taking the carafe from Kaoru, whose face had paled slightly, “That she can decide for herself, sir! Young woman,” the man asked, “Wouldn’t you like a drink?”

“I-”

“I said,” Kenshin commanded a little more loudly, “That my woman will not drink tonight.”

The noisy conversation around them stilled for a moment before rising again. Katsura shot a warning glance in Kenshin’s direction then resumed his lively conversation elsewhere. Kaoru realized that she had been holding her breath.

“I think,” she smiled apologetically at the man, “That I would prefer not to drink anyway. It affects my stomach.” She glanced quickly at Kenshin, whose dangerous eyes were now trained on her.

“Very well then,” the man shrugged, turning away to bask for a while in his own escort’s smiles.

“And you, sir? Would you care for more?” Kaoru invited Kenshin with a wide smile.

Stony silence met her. Fighting the urge to freeze, Kaoru hastily filled his cup and watched as he slowly sipped from it.

“Well,” the relentless man barged in, “I have a proposal, Himura.”

“What would that be?” Kenshin asked quietly from between sips.

“I propose,” he paused for effect, “That we trade company for tonight.”

Kenshin nearly choked on the sake.

“What?”

“Your woman, as you put it, seems much too lively for a man of your silence,” the man explained, oblivious to the gleam in Kenshin’s eyes, “And my quiet escort might be just what you want instead.”

“I think not,” Kenshin grit out.

“And what does the pretty lady think?” the man turned to grin at Kaoru.

Kaoru held her breath, sneaking a quick glance at Kenshin’s irate expression. It was now or never. “Well,” she drawled, “Himura-san does seem rather irritated with me today. Perhaps a trade would be beneficial. What do you say, Himura-san?”

“No.” Flat, furious.

“Oh, come on now!” the man clamored.

“I would advise you to be quiet.”

“Excuse me?”

“Now gentlemen,” Kaoru interrupted smiling, “There’s no need for hostility. Let’s just give it a try?”

Kaoru glanced over at Kenshin. The bone-chilling glare he sent her was enough to make her shiver.

“See? Even your so-called woman agrees with me.”

Kenshin stood suddenly, his fingers clenched around the scabbard of his very real sword. “I will speak to you outside, sir.”

“Excuse me?”

“Outside.” Kenshin stalked out of the room.

“Well, seems I need to go out for a moment. Please excuse me, my lady.” The man also stood, tramping out after Kenshin’s stiff form.

Kaoru watched them exit, her heart hammering in her ears. Had she pushed him too far? For a moment, she forgot who she was pretending to be and she scrambled wildly to her feet. Taking a deep breath, she followed in the direction they had taken.

“What is the big deal?” The man exclaimed.

“Just drop it,” Kenshin growled.

Standing on the porch, the two men were stark silhouettes against the moonlit sky.

“I still don’t see why you’re so damned worked up. She’s just a woman.”

“My woman. She is my woman.”

“Oh I see. Is that how it is? So how much do you want for her?”

Swiftly and silently, Kenshin had the man against the post with the edge of his blade against his throat.

“My god,” the man huffed, “Are you mad?”

“Yes,” Kenshin snarled.

“I just want-”

“Believe me,” Kenshin hissed, pressing his blade closer, “She’s not worth it. Understand? That girl is not worth it.”

He released him suddenly.

“Fine,” the man sputtered, “Fine, you bastard.”

Her back flattened against a wall, Kaoru listened without being able to see. Her heart sunk within her.

She’s not worth it.

Stifling a sob, she inched away and disappeared from the hall.

Kenshin rounded the same corner moments later, sheathing his sword silently. He entered the noisy banquet hall once again and made his way back to his place. As he knelt down, he noticed that Kaoru wasn’t there. Damn girl. She was probably flirting with some other men just to make him angry. His amber eyes scanned the room quickly. She wasn’t there at all.

“Katsura-san,” Kenshin interrupted whatever inane conversation he was having, “Where is Kaoru?”

Katsura turned mild eyes to Kenshin. “I don’t know. She followed you out.”

“What?”

“My dear guests!” Tokugawa’s booming voice interrupted suddenly, “Let us make our way into the gardens for a fire works show. I know you’ll enjoy it.”

Excited whispering filled the room as the many guests began to file out of the room. Katsura’s face darkened.

“Find her, Himura,” he commanded, “The best time for your mission is during the fire works. So find her now.”

Kenshin nodded, jumping up and slipping through the crowd into the darkness.

Kaoru was breathing deeply as she walked to nowhere in particular.

She’s not worth it.

How cold, how dismissing. She fought the moistness in her eyes as she followed the fireflies into a grove of trees. Stopping amid the tall grass and falling petals, she lifted her head to the sky just as the first loud explosion of fire works rocked the sky.

He found her in the grove of cherry blossom trees. She was facing away, her head tilted slightly upward as she watched the wind blow the cherry blossoms from the trees. She looked like the perfect model for a postcard; a slim woman dressed in a red kimono, standing in the light shower of pink petals. Kenshin padded silently toward her still figure.

“So,” she spoke quietly, “You’ve found me.”

Kenshin stopped abruptly, surprised that she had even noticed his presence.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, adding an impatient tone to his voice.

“Watching the cherry blossoms fall,” she said, her voice distant, “They’re beautiful.”

“We should go back.”

“Do you know why I love cherry blossoms?” Kaoru continued, “They remind me of spring. I love spring the most.”

“Kaoru-”

“Spring is when everything is renewed. When everything gets a fresh start.” She paused for a moment, bowing her head. “I thought we had started being friends.”

Kenshin sighed soundlessly. He padded forward again, his sandals swishing through the tall grass. He stopped when he was mere inches from her back.

“What happened Kenshin?” Kaoru asked, her face downcast, “Why are you treating me so differently?”

Kenshin, so close that he was staring down at her shoulder, placed a hesitant hand on her elbow. “We really should-”

Kaoru brushed his hand from her arm. “If you are going to suggest that we go back together,” she said tersely, “Don’t bother.”

Suddenly, Kenshin cupped his calloused fingers around Kaoru’s jugular, pulling her backward. Kaoru let herself bow backward instead falling back into an embrace.

“What are you-”

“Do you know,” Kenshin whispered into her ear, “What Katsura told me that night?”

Kaoru clutched at his fingers, which had tightened firmly around her neck. His other arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her forcefully into his chest.

“You belong to me,” he hissed, letting his lips brush her ear as he spoke.

Those words. Those same words that he had spoken to her in the drizzling rain that night. Those powerful words sent a shiver up her spine.

Still holding her firmly from behind, Kenshin let his fingers splay across her throat, pulling her head backward until the nape of her neck rested on his shoulder.

“Yes,” he answered her questioning blue eyes, “Katsura told me that I could have you.”

“What-”

“Are you wondering what that means, my pet?”

Kaoru quivered, her fingers curling around his. His sudden change in demeanor was enough to throw her completely off kilter.

“It means,” he continued, his voice a mere whisper, “That I can do anything I want with you.”

“I belong to no one,” Kaoru protested defiantly, twisting out of his arms. She turned to glare at him, now disheveled.

“But you do,” Kenshin said quietly as he took a step closer to her panting form, “You belong to me.”

“I-”

“You belonged to me long before Katsura ever said so. Now, I just have his permission to do as I like with you,” Kenshin continued, his voice low, “You became mine when you touched me, when you took my nightmares from me.”

“How did you-” Kaoru started, her voice fearful as she stepped back.

“I saw,” he broke in, “I saw you. They recorded it for me to see.”

“Dammit,” she cursed, looking down, “Damn them-”

“It’s not them you should be worried about right now,” Kenshin whispered, backing her into a tree.

Kaoru shrunk back against the trunk, her eyes darting nervously up to his. She began to tremble.

“What do you want?” she cried out, shaking.

“What I want from you right now is quite simple.” His face was close. Too close.

Kaoru ducked, covering her face with her long fingers. “What are you going to do to me?” she whispered brokenly.

Kenshin pried her fingers from her face. She dipped away from him. He took her face between his hands, lifting it up.

“Look at me.” It was a command.

Hesitantly, Kaoru blinked her eyes open, meeting his instantly. Her eyebrows shot upward as she saw what he had been hiding in his eyes.

They were not spiteful. Not angry. Not menacing.

His fingers slipped away from her cheeks but she kept searching his amber orbs. She saw gentleness there. And something else she just couldn’t name…

“Why did you cry for me those times?” Kenshin asked huskily, “Why did you take away my nightmares?”

She looked away suddenly. “I-”

“Look at me when you speak.”

Inhaling, she turned her eyes back to his face. “I wanted to help you.”

“Why?”

“You deserve peace too.”

“I do not.”

“Stop it!” Kaoru exclaimed suddenly, shaking her head wildly, “You’re not a monster! I know you’re human. I know you care. I know you deserve peace. Everyone does! Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you just…” Her voice trailed off into silence.

“Are you done?”

Kaoru sighed. Kenshin moved forward, placing one hand on either side of her head. Kaoru’s breath became ragged, her fingers shaking as she pressed them against his chest.

“Are you afraid of me?” Kenshin asked, lowering his face to hers.

“I-” Kaoru started, breaking off brokenly, “What do you want?”

“You.”

She glanced up, fear and tears glazing her eyes. “What about me?” Her voice was trembling.

“Everything.”

“What?”

“Everything, Kaoru,” Kenshin whispered, as he straightened without lifting his hands from the tree, “I want all of you.”

“You wouldn’t…” she began, her voice quivering.

“I won’t force you,” he finished for her, “I would never. Even though I know that you feel it too.”

“But, you said-”

“Don’t be mistaken. You belong to me,” he repeated, “But I want all of you, not just your body.”

Kaoru closed her eyes, relief washing over her. She inhaled. “Now then,” she began, her voice stronger and clearer.

“Now then what?”

She opened her eyes. He was still dangerously close. Her fingers curled nervously around the fabric of his gi.

“I want…” she whispered slowly.

“What do you want, Kaoru?” Kenshin asked softly, leaning forward so that his nose brushed against hers.

“I,” she faltered, “I don’t…” Kaoru found herself resting her cool fingertips against Kenshin’s cheek. She took a deep breath and fought the instinct to push him away.

Kenshin’s arms dropped to his sides. “I won’t force you,” he breathed.

Kaoru felt as if her body was suddenly very, very light. One hand still tightly fisted in his gi and the other gently pressed to his cheek, Kaoru nosed forward hesitantly. Tilting her head only slightly, Kaoru leaned in timidly and pressed her lips against his with the faintest of pressures. She broke the contact almost immediately but did not draw back.

Kenshin watched her from under his eyelids. Her eyes flickered up to his uncertainly. He gazed back at her, showing approval but not violent lust. Kaoru’s heart raced. She did not know what to do. Though she had been the object of much forced kissing and attention, she had never been the one to initiate or bestow a kiss. It was simply a skill she had never possessed.

Seeing her unease, Kenshin urged her on gently by tilting his head in the other direction and parting his lips slightly. Kaoru, taking this as encouragement, touched her lips to his again. She brushed his lips with hers softly and then brought them back to rest against his innocently.

Kenshin curled his fingers into tight fists, fighting the desire to push her back into the tree and force her mouth open with his tongue. Instead, he breathed gently and patiently into her moistly parted lips. Cautiously, Kaoru wound her arms around his neck, her breathing shallow and nervous. Stepping into him, she began to move her sweet lips against his. Agonizingly slowly, she pressed her plump mouth against his, then, capturing his lips between her own, she drew back, suckling softly.

Then, she broke away, looking up at his tightly closed eyes. “Kenshin?” she inquired shyly, “Is it wrong?”

“Kaoru,” he nearly groaned, opening amber eyes, “May I, please…”

She cocked her head to one side, running her tongue over parted lips.

“May I please,” he panted, clenching his fists until his fingernails dug into his palms, “Kiss you.”

Surprised, Kaoru blinked at him. He was asking? It was a request?

“Yes-”

The words were barely out of her mouth when his lips descended onto hers. And yet, he did not crush her lips or violently capture her mouth. Instead his lips were painfully gentle against hers. Tilting his head fully to one side, he mimicked her motion: pressing gently against her mouth, then pulling his lips back over hers. As he repeated this suckling motion, she began to reciprocate and their heads began to move back and forth slowly to the rhythm of their kissing.

Kaoru released his lips suddenly, looking up and panting for breath. By instinct, Kenshin dipped his head down and began to trail wet kisses along the side of her neck. She inhaled sharply, wrapping her arms more tightly around his neck. Unable to resist, Kenshin lightly placed his palms on her hips, pulling her forward as he continued to press feathery kisses down to her collarbone.

“Kenshin,” Kaoru whispered breathlessly.

He brought his head up and met her eyes. And then their lips met again, this time feverishly. Slowly, Kenshin eased Kaoru into leaning against the tree trunk. Several of his callused fingers cupped the underside of her chin as he deepened their kiss. He swept his tongue inside of her mouth, seeking her out. She met him and their tongues swiveled around each other hungrily, tasting and testing. Leaning heavily against the tree with one forearm, Kenshin let his other hand wander toward the open flap of her kimono. Eyes closed and body thrumming with desire, he pushed his hand into the folds until his hand met the cool silk of her leg. Reaching around, he pressed his palm to the creamy underside of her thigh and pulled her leg up, hooking her knee around his hip.

Suddenly, he stilled.

Kaoru’s lips were no longer moving with his. Opening his eyes mid-kiss, he saw that hers were already open and staring. He pulled back reluctantly, letting her leg fall back down gently. Kenshin stepped back, breaking their physical contact.

“I’m sorry,” Kaoru stuttered suddenly, blushing.

“There is no need,” Kenshin responded quietly.

“But-”

She broke off as Kenshin reached for her hand, pulling it up. With fluid grace, he pressed his moist lips to her wrist. His amber eyes flicked up.

“Later,” he said gently, “I understand.”

He let go of her wrist and she let her arm fall back to her side, doll-like.

“I never thought that you would…” she started, “That you would…”

Kenshin spun away, facing the fireworks. “Understand?” There was a tinge of bitterness to his tone.

“No, not that,” Kaoru corrected him mildly, “I never thought you would…want me…that way.”

Kenshin’s eyes opened wide as he felt Kaoru step towards him and press her hands into his back. Gently, she rested her forehead against the nape of his neck, her soft breath making his hair stand on end.

“Why?” Her voice was a mere whisper.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you know?”

“That I want to protect you.” Kenshin’s voice was quiet and thoughtful in a way she had never heard before. “That I don’t want anyone else to touch you. That I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

“Will you?” Her question was equally quiet. “Hurt me?”

“I don’t know.” He sighed. “I want to protect you but my only purpose is to destroy. And if Katsura wants you-”

“Will you always obey him?”

“Yes.” He looked down. “That is the path I have chosen. If I back away now, all those lives…” He paused. “All the lives I have taken would have been in vain.”

“I see.”

He closed his eyes as she fell into silence, her forehead still pressed into the back of his neck.

“Himura-san!” a boyish voice suddenly shattered the quiet, “Himura-san, I’ve been looking all over for you!”

Though Kaoru remained immobile, Kenshin’s head snapped up as someone hurtled toward them through the trees.

“Why?” His demand was like whiplash.

“Katsura-san wants to see you,” the young man huffed, slowing to a jog as he neared.

“Katsura?” An eyebrow rose, “And who might you be?”

“Me?” the man answered, stopping, “Kiyosato. I’m Akira Kiyosato.”

“Kiyosato,” the assassin growled, his hand going to the hilt of his sword as he sunk into a battle stance, “Your life is mine.”

“What?” the man exclaimed, bewildered.

Kenshin thumbed out his sword and readied himself to spring onto the shocked man. A faint tug on the back of his shirt stopped him. He looked over his shoulder at the girl.

“Kaoru,” he mouthed silently.

“Please,” she begged, “Please don’t.”

“Get back.” Battousai’s voice was cold and commanding.

Her grip only tightened on the back of his shirt as she collapsed onto him. “No, Kenshin,” she whispered.

His hand leaving his sword for only a moment, Battousai grabbed her by the collar. “I said,” he snarled, “Get back.” He flung her backward into the tree, where she sunk to her knees, eyes wide.

“Not even you can come between me and my duty,” he growled menacingly, “I am the destroyer.” He turned, his hand on his sword in his trademark battle stance. “Akira Kiyosato, prepare to die.”

“Kenshin!” she half-sobbed as he turned his back on her.

But her cry was lost in the brilliant blasts of fireworks above them.