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Broken Pieces: Chapter 23 - fallen dreams

by linay ::: 22.Jun.2004

Sift through the oceans of tears

Rise from the ashes of sorrow

And please help me collect

The broken pieces of my heart

As the elevator slowly lurched upward, Kaoru shifted her weight from one foot to the other impatiently. She looked down at her feet and wiggled her toes nervously. Finally, she heard the heavy metal doors slide open. Inhaling, she took a bold step into the hallway – only to stop short when she spotted Takasugi lounging against the opposite wall. Her heart leapt into her throat as she froze like a deer caught in the headlights.

"So," Takasugi said lazily, pushing himself from the wall, "Are you going stand there all night and block the elevator doors?"

Kaoru quickly pulled herself completely into the hallway. She heard the doors sliding shut behind her. Swallowing her anxiety, she drew herself up to her full height. "I want to go to Kenshin's apartment," she announced boldly.

Takasugi's lips lifted into a dry smirk. "Well, you sure wouldn't be wanting to go to my apartment, now would you?"

Kaoru snorted, and looked down the hall toward the familiar oak door. Takasugi, his fists shoved into his jeans' pockets, took several lurching steps forward.

"Listen up, missy," he said, the smile gone, "Are you sure you want to go in there?"

Kaoru lifted her chin. "What do you think?"

He shrugged. "Himura has been kind of touchy lately." He paused to scratch his chin with a fingernail. "Really touchy, in fact, scary touchy."

"I don't care." Kaoru turned away and started walking resolutely toward Kenshin's apartment.

"Now just a minute, sweetheart," Takasugi stopped her with a tense grip on her upper arm, "He's a dangerous man."

Kaoru brushed his hand from her arm, and met his eyes with a furious stare. "I know. I've seen him, if you haven't forgotten."

"I mean, he's really dangerous now," he repeated, re-attaching his hand to her arm, "Tense like a rubber band pulled too far. Just a bit more and snap!" He snapped his fingers sharply. "That's it!"

Kaoru looked away and breathed in deeply. When she spoke, her voice was quiet. "That's why I have to see him."

Takasugi's hand fell away from her. "You're a damned crazy girl." Exhaling loudly, he fished for something in his back pocket and held it up for Kaoru to peer at. "See this?" He shook the key chain so that it jangled in front of her nose. "This is my little advance birthday present for you."

Kaoru snatched the rattling keys from his fingers and examined them in her open palm. "Birthday present? You don't know when my birthday is. And what are these for?"

Takasugi sighed dramatically. "For someone so cute, you're not very bright. What keys would I give you as a present? And for your information, any birthday present you get that's not on your birthday is an advanced birthday present."

Kaoru looked up, narrowing her eyes. "And what if my birthday was yesterday?"

"Then my birthday present 364 days early." He said with a quick shrug. "Aren't you forgetting the more important questions? Like, what do those keys open?"

"I'll take a guess," she said, clutching the keys firmly in her hand, "Kenshin's apartment?"

"Bingo." He looked at her shrewdly. "But remember: rubber band."  He snapped his fingers again to illustrate Kenshin's current mindset.

Kaoru nodded, turning to hurry to Kenshin's door. "Thanks, old man," she called over her shoulder.

As she approached the heavy wooden door, her steps slowed. Kaoru placed a hand on the door, quietly studying its surface. She held the keys tightly in one hand, careful not to let them clatter against each other. She looked to her right and her left quickly, noting that Takasugi had disappeared already and that no one else was in the hall. Carefully, and a bit self-consciously, she leaned in to press her ear to the door. Closing her eyes, she listened.

A few moments later she pulled back. The door could have been completely soundproof for all she knew; she hadn't been able to discern a single sound. Her stomach heaved slightly in unease but she lifted the keys and, as quietly as she could, inserted them into the lock. Gritting her teeth and preparing herself for any response, she flipped the key in the lock and pushed the door open. It swung inward with no more than a slight rush of air.

Kaoru stared, open-mouthed, at the sight that greeted her. Kenshin's apartment was in chaos. Although all the furniture was where it had been when she left, broken glass littered the floor and unsightly holes and craters marred the once pristine walls. Blinking back her shock, Kaoru tiptoed around shards of glass to enter the living area. Turning on the balls of her feet, she gently pushed the door closed, hoping to make as little noise as possible. Shaking her head, Kaoru turned to face the apartment again. She froze immediately, pinned to the spot by an amber glare.

Kenshin stood, statue-still, across the room from her, a menacing glare painting his face. His fingers were curled into tight fists at his sides and his lips were pressed into an angry line. Kaoru tried not to swallow loudly as she stared back at him. She deduced that he had just finished a shower, as his red hair fell in damp locks over his bare back and a towel hung over his shoulders. Kaoru breathed in unsteadily as she took a cautious step forward. Not one of his muscles even twitched in response; he simply stared. She took another step forward, inwardly chanting that she would not fear this man. And then another. And another, until she was merely a foot away from his intimidating presence.

He lowered his chin slightly to glower fiercely at her and Kaoru tentatively lifted her open palm, reaching with her fingertips to caress his tense cheek. Without warning, Kenshin seized her wrist and spun her around, twisting her arm behind her back painfully. Kaoru cried out as she was forced to bend forward from the pressure Kenshin was plying against her arm. The fingers of his other hand curled roughly around her neck and he pulled, forcing Kaoru to arch backward with another cry of pain.

"Why are you here?" He hissed in her ear.

"I came to see you," Kaoru bit out.

His fingers pushed into the delicate flesh of her throat. "You lie."

"No!" Her voice was choked.

"Why did they send you?" He demanded, his teeth grazing her ear.

"They didn't!" Kaoru began to protest, "I-"

Her answer was abruptly cut off when Kenshin sharply bit her ear. When she whimpered, he drew his tongue slowly over the red marks let by his teeth. "The truth, Kaoru."

"The truth is," Kaoru started, her eyes burning with tears, "Aoshi took me. He-"

Again her reply was cut off sharply. This time Kenshin's grip had tightened mercilessly as he put more pressure into her twisted arm. "Aoshi…" He breathed angrily.

"Kenshin," Kaoru cried out, tears streaking down her cheeks. "You're hurting me!"

As if she had burned his skin, Kenshin released her suddenly and she fell to the floor in a heap. Breathing shakily, Kaoru drew herself up to her knees. He watched her with calculated eyes as he began to circle her with measured steps.

"Why are you here?"

"I came to see you," Kaoru said again.

"Liar."

"I'm not lying!" Kaoru shouted angrily, lifted her tear-stained face to glare at him as he paced around her, "I came to be with you."

"Why?"

"Don't you want to be with me?" Her knuckles whitened with frustration. "Didn't you want me to come back?"

"Not if you're here to be his tool against me." Kenshin's lips turned up into a hateful snarl.

"His tool?" Kaoru exclaimed incredulously, "Just who is his tool? Just me?"

With an animalistic growl, Kenshin sprang forward and grabbed the front of her shirt, pulling her forward violently until they were nose-to-nose. "You hypocrite," he bit out, "Now you think it's okay to be used like that. You used to be so opposed to his methods – now look, you are his tool, a dirty hypocritical tool."

"I couldn't stop it!" Kaoru said helplessly, "I didn't see any other way!"

"What does that make you now, Kaoru? You're no different than the rest of them!"

He was shouting in her face now and Kaoru closed her eyes against the accusations. "There was no other way. I had to cooperate." Her lip trembled. "But I came back, didn't I?"

"So?" The question was so flat, so devoid of emotion that Kaoru's eyes shot open angrily. She grabbed the front of his shirt, forgetting that he had already done the same to her.

"So?" Her voice escalated in volume. "So? I did all of it for you, Kenshin. For you! So what are you going to do? Throw me out for coming back to you?"

Kenshin pushed himself away from her, rising to his feet. "Go to bed." He spun away from her, striding toward the armchair.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru asked, rising from her position.

"Go to bed," he repeated evenly as he sank into the leather chair and closed his eyes.

Kaoru approached him again, carefully side-stepping the broken glass. As she drew close, his facial muscles tightened but he didn't acknowledge her otherwise. With a sigh, she sank to the floor beside him, leaning her head against his knee.

"Go to sleep on the bed." His commanded, his voice tight.

"I want to stay with you."

"I don't want you here."

Kaoru wound an arm around his shin and pressed her face into his thigh. "Don't make me leave you," she pleaded softly, her voice muffled by his jeans. Kenshin stood abruptly, shaking her hold on him by stepping away quickly.

"I told you to go to bed."

Kaoru stood as well, brushing the dirt from her clothes. "Not without you," she said determinedly.

"I said-"

"You can't make me," she interrupted.

"Can't I?" He caught her wrist in a bruising grip.

"You won't," she replied calmly and confidently, "I know you, Kenshin. This isn't what you want. You wouldn't really hurt me."

Kenshin's face went rigid as he raised a hand. As the back of his hand came rushing toward her face, Kaoru winced and closed her eyes, bracing for the impact. But it never came. As she opened her eyes, she felt only the cool of his palm against her cheek.

"You should know better than to test me," Kenshin said quietly as he lifted her face to meet her eyes.

A ghost of a smile flitted over Kaoru's expression as she gently took his hand from her face. She pulled him toward the bedroom and he allowed himself to be towed into the dim room. Without a word, he threw back the covers and stretched out over the mattress, clasping his hands behind his head. Silently Kaoru closed the door and turned toward the bed. Although Kenshin's face was turned to the ceiling, she felt his golden pupils watching her from the corner of his eye. Without hesitating, she began to pull her clothes off, one item at a time, until she was naked. She crawled into the bed beside him, pulling the covers over them both. Kaoru slipped an arm under his head and, with the other, pulled him closer. Cupping his scarred cheek in her palm, she planted a feather soft kiss on his temple. With a satisfied sigh, she relaxed onto the mattress and wound her bare limbs around his.

"I killed the men at the lab where you were held." Kenshin's spoke the words coldly. When she didn't reply, he continued. "I slit the guards' throats. Then I decapitated all the scientists." He paused, as if waiting. "Except one - the head scientist. First I cut off his right foot. And then his left. And then his right leg at the knee."

"Kenshin," Kaoru interrupted quietly. "I don't want to hear it."

"But I want to tell you how I killed him."

She lifted her head from the mattress and levered herself over him, pressing her forehead to his. He could feel her hot tears falling onto his face, sliding from the bridge of his nose to his cheeks. "But why?" She asked.

"Because I did it for you."

She shook her head violently. "No," she protested, "I never want you to kill for me."

"Then," his voice hardened, "I did it because of you."

He felt the flow of hot tears on his face quicken. "Don't say that."

"But it's true." His tone was cold. "I wanted to do even worse to them because of what they did to you."

"Kenshin," she whispered, rolling her body so as to cover his completely, "Please don't-"

"Don't what? Kill?" He chuckled sardonically. "That's not possible."

"Don't-"

"Are you going to tell me not to enjoy it?" Kenshin pushed himself up onto his elbows, forcing her to lift her face away from his. She sat up, straddling him. "Do you want me to hate killing?"

"I thought you did."

"Maybe I did. But lately," his eyes narrowed, "Lately I haven't hated it so much as I used to. In fact, when I was slaughtering those pigs that took you, I really-"

"I don't want to hear it!" Kaoru reached up to cover her ears.

Kenshin sat up and pulled her hands down, away from her head. "But you must." He met her disbelieving blue eyes in the dark. "Can you still say that you want to stay with me? Kaoru, can you love the monster I've become?"

They stared at each other in the gloom of the bedroom. Kenshin slowly released her hands and she pulled them to her chest. After studying her silhouette for a few moments, Kenshin began to pull himself off the bed. He was stopped by two delicate hands descending on his shoulders.

"I will love you, Kenshin, all of you."

"Can you-"

"I will," she said resolutely, sliding her palms up to frame his face. Kaoru leaned into him, pressing her chest against his. As her lips touched his, they sank back down into the bed. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her bare body into a burning embrace. She lifted her face from his for an instant, her eyes lovingly tracing his features. He sank his fingers into her hair, twisting them into the long black locks. They studied one another silently.

"How did you get into the apartment?"

His sudden question surprised Kaoru and she answered without pause. "Takasugi gave me a set of keys."

"That meddling-"

Kaoru laughed then, a carefree chuckle. "I'm glad he did. Otherwise I might not have been able to get in at all. You probably wouldn't have even opened the door for me."

"So why did you bother coming?"

"Because," she answered with a smile, "I know what you want."

"If I remember correctly, it was pretty clear that I didn't want to see you."

When Kaoru finally began to stir, sunlight was already pouring through the open blinds of the window. She turned over, flinging her arm to the side with a sigh. Suddenly she sat up, her eyes searching for Kenshin. He was no longer lying by her side. Kaoru slid out of bed and reached for the clothes she had discarded at the foot of the bed.  She hopped from the room, still pulling on her clothing. The apartment was silent. She glanced up at the fireplace and noted that the swords were gone from the mantle. Kaoru sighed.

She stepped over to the dinette where the makings of breakfast were laid out for her. With a smile, she sat down and picked up her chopsticks. When she looked down at her plate, her eyebrows rose in surprise. A neatly folded piece of white paper lay across her plate. She picked up and opened it. In his precise handwriting, Kenshin had written two sentences in the center of the paper.

I will return this afternoon. Do not leave the apartment.

Kaoru placed the note to the side of her plate and proceeded to eat breakfast.

While Kaoru was eating, Kenshin was sitting down for tea with Katsura in the Ichiriki Tea House. As he knelt, he pulled his two swords from his waistband and set them side by side on the floor.

"I hear Kamiya-san has returned to you."

Kenshin's cool stare remained level. "She has."

"Apparently," Katsura continued, a finger tracing the rim of his tea cup, "Aoshi-san helped her."

"Is that so?" The assassin's voice was as deadpan as ever.

Katsura regarded his most effective employee's impassive expression carefully. His lips were drawn into a tight line and his eyes, though neither angry nor pleased, were narrowed thoughtfully. A shadow of a smile ghosted across Katsura's lips. He knew that Kenshin was wondering about what he would command concerning the girl. He chose to let him wonder.

"Our plans are near complete." Katsura paused to sip tea. "Only two assignments remain for you. Expect them tonight."

Kenshin's brow lifted slightly. "Only two?"

"The others have also been working to eliminate our seedy partners. Choshu is almost ready for the public eye."

"And Tokugawa? Ishigawa?"

"As we speak, those two are being assigned to one of our assassins. Within two days, the Bakufu party will be without leaders. Then, we will take over. It will happen quickly," Katsura said, spreading his hands over the polished tabletop.

"Who is taking care of Ishigawa?" Kenshin's words were clipped and sharp.

"Why?"

"I would like to be the one to do it."

Katsura's eyes narrowed at the fiery haired man sitting so calmly before him. "You would like to complete that assignment?"

A curt nod was his answer.

"You have never requested an assignment before."

"I want this one." Kenshin's lips turned up into a frightening smirk and his golden eyes lit up with barely restrained blood lust.

Katsura leaned back slightly, surprised. "Might this have anything to do with Kamiya-san?" he asked.

"Of course."

Katsura shook his head. "Your request is denied. You are only to complete two more assignments."

"Very well."

"That is all the information I have for you today," Katsura told Kenshin, "Wait for instructions. You may go."

Katsura watched pensively as his chief assassin stood slowly and reached for his swords, tucking them securely at his waist. Kenshin flipped the folds of his trench coat over the sword hilts before offering a quick, brisk bow. Without a word, he turned and exited the teahouse. Katsura frowned at his tea, contemplating Kenshin's recent changes. He had always been a manslayer – but a cool-headed, almost apologetic manslayer. And although he remained icy in disposition, he had recently become more eager to kill, even enthusiastic. Behind the indifferent face, two burning eyes told of the lust he was developing for the hunt.

Kaoru surveyed the apartment with a triumphant grin, her hands on her hips. A broom and dustpan lay against the wall behind her. The polished hardwood floors gleamed and all trace of broken glass had been swept away. Rolling her shoulders, Kaoru lifted a small black garbage bag full of glass and garbage and lugged it over to the front door. She set it down with a sigh and turned to peer at the wall clock. Only one o'clock in the afternoon.

Her eyes wandered over to a small hamper filled with black clothing, Kenshin's clothing. Her own soiled garments rested atop the heap. She crinkled her nose in disgust; the smell of blood was strong from even across the room. Squaring her shoulders, she dragged the hamper to the front door as well. Kaoru glanced up at the clock again and decided that she had time. She pulled the door open and, holding it open with her foot, she lifted the hamper in both hands and stooped to grab the garbage bag with one hand. As she stepped out into the hall, the heavy door swung shut behind her.

The elevator ride down seemed so much longer when she was trying to hold onto something heavy, Kaoru mused to herself. The doors slid open for her on the main floor and she trudged out. With a loud exhalation of breath, she dropped the hamper. She took a moment to stretch her back and then began to drag the garbage bag out the main doors. She stepped into the sunlight and squinted around to find a trash bin. Spotting one near the corner of the building, she hefted the bag over her shoulder. When she reached the wide bin, she slung the bag inside. Dusting her hands off, she skipped back to the apartment building lobby.

A man, sitting on a bench in the park across the street, peered around the newspaper he was pretending to read to watch the dark haired girl pick up her hamper of clothes again and press the down button for the elevator. He watched her hum to herself as she waited. When it came, she stepped in and turned. He barely caught the sight of her finely chiseled face and her distinctive blue eyes when the doors slid shut.

But one glance was enough. The man quickly discarded his paper and stood, pulling up his pants and patting the gun that was lodged in his belt.

He found her in the laundry room, ungracefully shoving clothes into the front-loading washing machine. She was painfully oblivious to his presence and only turned when he cleared his throat. When he offered her a toothy grin, she smiled shyly back and then returned to spooning detergent into the machine. It was only when he loudly proclaimed her full name that she stopped and turned to stare at him with wide, frightened eyes. The small boned woman bravely fended off his grabbing attacks with practiced kicks and blocks, but he could see the panic rising in her blue eyes. He smiled when she was forced into the corner, panting and sweating, her hands still raised in defense. It was then that he chose to pull the gun out and wave it in her face. His smile widened when he saw her eyes widen in terror, beautiful blue terror.

"Take off your shirt."

She stared at him as if he were stark raving mad. He laughed, doubling over and clutching at his stomach. He felt her move before he saw her. He recognized her last ditch attempt to get away, fueled by adrenaline. Her attack was obvious, though, and he easily deflected her kick with his forearm. Then he reached in and grabbed her by the upper arm, spinning her back into his chest. Her fear smelled delicious.

"Don't move, sweetheart."

With a casual flick of his wrist, he produced a knife that he held against her throat. She grabbed at his forearm, but was still. He chuckled and, with his other hand, pressed the muzzle of the gun to her temple.

"It wasn't so hard to find you, after all."

Her breathing was erratic, and he inhaled again, reveling in the scent of her sweat and fright. And then, suddenly, the heaving of her young chest stilled. The man cocked his head to the side, examining her face and eyes thoughtfully.

"Ah," he said with a wide grin, not yet looking up, "I was wondering when you would show up." He followed the path of the woman's eyes to see a shadowed figure step into the laundry room. He licked his lips as he appraised the slight man, and nearly laughed aloud gleefully as he took in the flaming hair, the wintry amber gaze, the long black trench coat and the faint outline of the swords beneath it.

"Battousai," he said, smiling and redirecting the muzzle of the gun to point at him, "What wonderful instincts you have!"

Kenshin said nothing, but his eyes spoke volumes. Without a word, he sank into a battle crouch, his hand going to the handle of his long sword.

"No foreplay, Battousai?" the man's voice rose to a cackle. "No wonder they call you the most efficient assassin alive! What an honour this is!"

"You're crazy!" The woman coughed from within his grasp, struggling against his grip.

"Now, now, sugar," He said, tracing her jaw line with the tip of his tongue, "No name calling."

Immediately, the man grinned and knocked away Battousai's surprise strike with the barrel of his gun, leaping to the side and dragging Kaoru along with him. The redhead sank into a lunge position, his eyes murderous.

"Isn't it wonderful to have a gun that can counter steel?" he laughed. "Be careful now, Battousai, you wouldn't want me to accidentally slit her throat." He smiled madly and drew the blade across Kaoru's neck, leaving a thin line of red across the side of her neck. Battousai watched as small dots of red emerged from the line, growing in size and falling in red streaks down her neck. Her attacker smiled as she whimpered ever so slightly. "Beautiful girl," he said thoughtfully, pressing his blade to a different spot, "She shows such a wonderful face when she's afraid."

He watched Battousai's brows drop low as he narrowed his eyes. He pulled the scabbard from his belt and flipped the long sword into it. Then he turned and descended into a traditional sword stance.

"How exciting!" the man exclaimed, releasing the girl and flinging her into the wall behind him, "You're ready to fight me seriously!" He turned the handle of his blade around his fingers and brandished his gun. He rushed toward Battousai, his dagger coming down in a swift downward strike. Battousai's long sword flashed out in a rapid arc but he countered it with the barrel of his gun. He pushed the sword away and lunged forward, striking out horizontally with his blade. Battousai thumbed out his second sword and the blade of the dagger sank into the short sword's hilt. Battousai wrenched the man's hand from the dagger and, dropping into a crouch, swept his feet out from under him. With a laugh, the man back-flipped out of the path of the short sword's swing.

"Well-done!" he cried happily, "Well-done indeed."

Battousai did not reply. Instead, he pulled the enemy's dagger from the hilt of his sword and flung it into the wall. It embedded itself into the plaster. He held the shorter blade in front of him and lifted the other, longer blade behind him.

"Angry, Battousai?" Chortling, he began to fire shots at the other man.

Battousai spun around and leapt forward, avoiding the bullets. The spray of metal ended abruptly as he began a whirlwind series of strikes against the intruder. The man parried successfully with his gun and dodged with frantic speed. Then, Battousai placed his foot against his opponent's knee and pushed off into a backflip, crossing his arms as he flew. When he landed, his swords swept outward in a brilliant flash of steel. Battousai stood, his expression blank.

The man fell onto his elbows, and watched as his legs spun away from his body. He looked behind himself to see only bloody stumps where his legs should have been. He turned back and, flicking his eyes up, he saw a smirk twist upon Battousai's face. He lifted his arm to shoot, but found that Battousai was no longer in front of him. More puzzling, his arm was no longer attached to his body; it lay a foot away, his blood spattered across the concrete floor. He lifted his eyes to stare at the girl's bare legs, which were dotted in his blood. Through the haze of pain, he grinned and looked up at her horrified face. Her lovely blue eyes were brilliant with tears and fright.

"Oh my beauty," he said sweetly to the young woman, "Your fear is so beautiful but tell me: now, what are you afraid of?"

"Kenshin!" She cried uselessly as Battousai lunged downward, burying his sword into the man's back. Even as he pulled the sword out, his other sword swung, decapitating the intruder. With a brusque flick of the wrists, the blood flew from his blades. He re-sheathed them and held them both in one hand while Kaoru collapsed to her knees and covered her face. In front of her, one man lay in bloody pieces and another stood above, watching her coldly. She heard his footsteps approaching. Silently, he grasped her by the wrist and pulled her up. Without even casting a glance at the human mess spread onto the concrete, he pulled her forcefully from the room. She barely registered entering the elevator or the apartment, even though he was nearly crushing her wrist in his grip.

Upon entering the apartment, he threw her in the direction of the kitchenette and turned to slam the door shut, shrugging off his trench coat and letting in fall to the floor. She stumbled forward and caught herself on the bar. She stood straight and began rubbing her arms, still dazed. Wordlessly, Kenshin marched toward her, grabbing the crisp white sheet of paper from the table. He pushed her angrily into the bar and held the paper in front of her face.

"Read!" He shouted.

She stared at him.

"Hurry up and read this to me!" Kenshin's hand shot forward, his fingers curling around the nape of her neck. "Right now," his voice dropped to a whisper, "I am very angry."

Kaoru eyes flicked over the sheet. "I will return this afternoon," she read aloud, mustering as much vocal steadiness as she could, "Do not leave the apartment."

"Well," Kenshin said, tossing the sheet over his shoulder, "Obviously there is nothing wrong with your reading skills, so why did you leave?" His question became a shout.

Kaoru looked to the side. "I wanted to do laundry and throw the trash out."

Kenshin's fist came down so hard onto the counter behind her that the glasses in the sink rattled. "For something so stupid, you put your life in danger?"

"I didn't know-"

"You didn't know?" He turned her face back toward his. "You didn't think, is what. You could have been killed!" his grip on her chin tightened. "The things they would have done to you!"

Her eyes blazed defiance. Placing her hands on his chest, she pushed, although he didn't budge. "It's not like it's stuff they haven't done before!"

Kenshin's expression darkened. "Is that the point here, Kaoru?" His voice was severe.

"What is, then?" She snapped back. In the back of her mind, she knew she was being unreasonable but she still couldn't shake the image of the dead man's body from her mind.

"Don't you know?"

"You killed him!" She threw out the words that had been lodged in her throat.

"Of course I killed him," he replied incredulously, "Should I have let him go?"

"But," she said, her voice choking upon the memories, "You killed him so brutally…" Her voice trailed off and she looked down.

"That's what I do," he replied icily, "I thought you knew that."

"But you enjoyed it." The statement was forlorn.

Kenshin cupped her face in his calloused hands and she lifted her eyes to meet his. "You said you could love the monster. Can you still say that, truthfully?" After Kaoru managed a weak nod, Kenshin's gaze hardened upon hers and his voice grew frigid. "Why did you disobey me? I gave you the express instructions-"

"I'm sorry," Kaoru interrupted quietly, her face falling. "I am sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"I can't protect you if-"

"I know," she said, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck, "I'm sorry."

"Kaoru, will you-" he continued to admonish her, his tone becoming gentler automatically.

"I will." She pressed her face into his neck. "I will do as you say from now on, I promise."

Kenshin sighed as he wrapped one arm around her and reached for a clean rag with the other. Carefully, he daubed at the wound on her neck. "Does it hurt?"

Kaoru shook her head. Kenshin pitched the rag into the sink and pulled her tightly into his chest. He pressed his cheek against the top of her head and breathed in deeply.

"I was afraid." The words were soft and, though he spoke without intonation, Kaoru felt the shudder in his chest. She lifted her head to look him in the eye and Kenshin looked back down at her. Mutely, she planted a tender kiss on his chin. He responded by taking her face between his hands and sweeping his tongue into her mouth. Kaoru returned the hungry kiss eagerly, winding her fingers through his red hair. Kenshin cupped his hands around the underside of her thighs and pulled one leg around his hip. She felt the rough pads of his fingers pushing upward, underneath her shirt to rest on her ribcage. Pulling back from the kiss, she gasped for air and swiftly pulled her shirt over her head. He bent forward to lay open-mouthed kisses against her collarbone as he reached around her to undo the clasp of her brassiere. An unexpected giggle caused him to lean back.

"It unhooks in front," she explained, smiling as she undid the hook between her breasts and shed the undergarment. His eyebrows shot up. She laughed nervously and blushed as he slid his hands around to cup her breasts in his hands. "Maybe we should…?" She left the question unfinished as he began to trace circles around her nipples with his thumbs. His hands left her chest and he began to run his fingers through her long hair.

"Are you nervous?" His question was gentle.

"Isn't everyone nervous before … you know?"

"Before what?"

"Kenshin!" Kaoru huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Before what, Kaoru?"

He was met by staunch silence and an angry stare. "You know what," she said crossly.

Surprisingly, Kaoru awoke before Kenshin. Craning her neck toward the window, she saw that it was nearly dark outside. She untangled herself from his limbs and carefully rolled out of bed. She grabbed the sleeping robe that hung from a hook behind the door and ventured into living area. It was definitely cooler outside the bedroom and she pulled the robe around her tightly. She stepped toward the door and picked up the trench coat that Kenshin had discarded earlier. Exhaling softly, she hung the coat and turned to the kitchen.

When she took a step forward, however, her foot caught on something. She looked down and stooped to pick up a small, non-descript envelope.

An assassination assignment.

She frowned, anger knotting her brow. Pursing her lips, she crushed the envelope in her palm and slipped it into the robe's pocket. From the other room, she heard the mattress creak. She decided to return to Kenshin's embrace before he decided to get up.

The phone's piercing ring startled Kenshin out of sleep. Opening his eyes, he was met with the sight of Kaoru's delicate facial features, relaxed in sleep. He took a moment to press a kiss to her forehead before rolling over to pull the receiver from its cradle.

"Yeah," he grunted into the phone.

"Himura, did you receive your assignment?"

"What assignment?" Kenshin sat up, rubbing his forehead.

"I sent Takasugi to slide it under your door. Be sure to take care of it tonight."

"Yes, sir."

Reluctantly, Kenshin disengaged himself from Kaoru's arms and left the bed. He frowned at the plain robe that lay half-open around her. Had she been cold? He pulled the comforter up and tucked in around her still form. He stepped out into the living room and searched the floor around the doorway. Not a black envelope in sight. Lifting his eyes, he scanned the coffee table, bar and dining table. Still no envelope.

He headed back for the bedroom. "Kaoru?" She groaned and turned to the other side. "Kaoru," he repeated, his voice growing stern, "Where is the envelope?" He watched as the even rising and falling of her chest became unsteady. "I know you're awake. Where is the envelope?"

"I don't know what you are talking about," she replied stubbornly, clutching the ends of the comforter at her chin.

"Kaoru," he warned, "I need the envelope."

"You don't need it."

With a smooth sweep of his arm, Kenshin dragged the comforter from the bed, leaving Kaoru exposed. She curled around herself, wrapping the edges of the robe tightly around her torso.

"You don't have to go!" She was fighting tears, he could tell.

"I will go." He held out his hand. "The envelope."

Gritting her teeth, she sat up and stared at him, her knuckles white. "I won't give it to you."

Kenshin leaned forward and placed his hand on her waist. "I will have to take it from you." When she made no move to comply with his request, he hauled her over to his side of the bed. She struggled, violently pushing his hands away. Finally, he planted his hands on her shoulder and pushed her forcefully into the mattress.

"Where is it?"

"Please, Kenshin," she pleaded, her hands diving into the robe's pockets, "Don't kill anymore."

"That's not for either of us to decide," he said calmly, "I will kill whomever he tells me to – that was the vow I took."

"That's a stupid vow," she said bitterly, bringing a closed fist to her stomach.

His eyes dropped to her hands. In a heartbeat, he had her wrist in a vice-like grip. Ignoring her silent tears, he pried her fingers open and pulled the crumpled black envelope from her palm. "I appreciate your concern for me," he said, dropping her hand, "But I will do my duty." He pulled on his clothes and turned from the room. "And even you won't get in the way of my duty." Kenshin strode purposefully from the room and Kaoru heard him pause by the mantle to retrieve his swords. The curt sound of the door closing was the only goodbye she received. Her face melted into tears as she stood and took halting steps into the living room.

"Genji," Battousai announced as he approached him in the alley behind the Sakura Tea House, "Nothing personal, but I am going to take your life."

The other Choshu assassin turned to stare at his former co-worker. "Nothing personal? My ass, Battousai. You can't wait to cross swords with me. You've wanted my head ever since I touched that chick of yours."

Kenshin shrugged and pulled the long sword from its sheath. "Whatever. Personal or not, you'll die tonight by my blade."

Genji's face lit up in an anticipatory grin. "Wouldn't count on it." He pulled a near-identical sword from his side. "Who would have thought it-" His thought was cut short as he was forced to block Kenshin's first attack. Metal screeched as they tore away from each other. "That Choshu's two best assassins would be pitted against each other," he continued as they circled one another. "You'd think the old man would show a bit more gratitude to his employees."

Genji grunted as he parried a flurry of Battousai's blows. "Why do you always talk uselessly?" Kenshin seethed, lunging forward aggressively.

"Oh," he paused to block, "I just wanted to let you know that they're killing everyone off." He twisted in order to avoid being impaled and then continued. "Shishio is dead, burnt alive is what I hear." The two men jumped apart. "Now we're fighting. But I wonder," Genji said, looking down the length of his sword as he pointed it toward his opponent, "Just who will be assigned to do you in."

"You talk too much!" Battousai leapt forward. Genji swung his sword, but the smaller assassin was already within his defenses. Battousai knocked the strike away and slashed upward. The upper half of Genji's skull fell backward and the man sank to the ground.  Drenched in blood, Battousai stood and walked away.

Kaoru stood when she heard the door to the apartment swing open. Kenshin gave her a long, measured look before turning to shut the door behind him. When he turned to go to the bathroom, she was already gliding toward him. He watched, with hooded eyes, as Kaoru calmly pulled the trench coat from his shoulders and hung it up. Without saying a word, she placed her hands on the hilts of his sword and began to tug them from his belt. Suddenly, his hands covered hers.

"You're not allowed to touch them."

"Why not?" She challenged him, meeting his cool gaze.

He brushed her fingers from the swords. "They are a burden only I am permitted to bear."

Stubbornly, she latched onto the swords and pulled them from him. "You idiot," she chastised him, "The minute you let me back in here, you made it my burden as well."

"You can't even watch someone die."

"So?" She clasped the swords to her chest and reached out to outline his eyebrow with a fingertip. "That doesn't mean I can't help you bear it."

"What can you do?" He asked, stepping forward, "Wash my soul for me?"

Kaoru smiled forlornly and walked over the fireplace where she reverently lifted the swords and set them on their racks. "Only you have the power to forgive yourself." She turned to face him. "I can only be with you in the meantime."

Kenshin scowled at her and headed for the bathroom. Once there, he slammed the hot water on and started the shower at full force. Flinging his bloody clothes onto the tiled floor, he stepped into the shower, sliding the door shut angrily. He turned under the water, letting it scald his skin. He had just killed a comrade.

He turned to peer through the frosted glass of the shower door as Kaoru stepped into the bathroom. Staring at his form through the door, she let the robe drop from her shoulders and pool at her feet. She quietly slid the door open and stepped into the steaming shower cubicle. Kenshin frowned at her.

"The water is too hot for you."

"I can take it," she replied softly, as she pulled a bottle of shampoo from a tiled shelf. After pouring the thick cream into her palm, she reached up to sink her hands into his hair.

He stopped her wrists. "What are you doing?"

"Washing you," she answered simply. "You're wasting shampoo."

Looking down, he saw the cream sliding down her arm. He released her. Bowing his head, he allowed her to massage his scalp and bring the shampoo to a foamy froth in his thick hair. Kaoru took a step closer to him and tilted his head back into the stream of hot water, smoothing the remaining suds from his soaking locks. His eyes drifted closed.

"Conditioner?" He heard her ask faintly.

"Don't bother."

As she reached for the bar of soap, she pressed even closer to him. Her hands worked in slow, rhythmic circles, lathering his body lovingly. She started at his shoulders and worked her way down, sparing no inch of skin. Then, she slid around him and repeated the process with his back, this time, plying more pressure into his flesh as she spread the soap over his body. Kenshin's head lolled back as she kneaded his muscles. When her hands finished massaging his calves, he turned to look down at her.

"Is the water too hot?"

She grinned ruefully. "Am I that red?" He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Well," she admitted as she stood, "I do kind of feel like a lobster."

He reached around her to adjust the water to a more comfortable temperature. She stroked one of his shoulders, as if dusting suds from it. Kenshin circled her waist with his arms and drew her into him, letting the water wash over them both. Cautiously, he backed her into the tiled wall of the shower. She smiled at him and tugged on a stray lock of red hair that had fallen over her face. He kissed her then, a long, languid kiss where their tongues moved against each other slowly. Even so, when he pulled his lips away, Kaoru was breathless. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he turned her unhurriedly so that she faced the wall. Leaning into her, he planted one forearm onto the wall in front of her and the other muscled arm slid around her waist, angling her hips toward him. As he entered her, she pressed her teeth into his forearm, muffling her moans. He made love to her desperately, clinging to her body with all his strength and kissing the junction between her neck and shoulder without reserve.

When they were finished, he spun her heaving body around. Sinking to his knees in the shower, he pressed his face into her stomach and clutched her body to his as tightly as he could. Kaoru looked down at him fondly and ran her fingers through his wet hair, comforting him silently. Apart from the beating of his heart against her thighs, she could feel him weeping into her skin.

They headed directly for the bedroom as soon as they were both dried and enfolded in bathrobes. Kenshin paused at the door. A black envelope rested by his foot. His final assignment. He bent to pick it up and glanced over his shoulder to check if Kaoru was looking. She wasn't; she had turned momentarily to gaze at the dying fire. He slipped the black card from its paper case and read the information. Kenshin's eyes widened. There was only a single name on the card – no surname, no address, no time.  But he knew exactly who the target was and where the target would be. He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood and he viscously crushed the black card in his palm. His final assignment.

One more name.

One simple swing of his sword.

One more person had to die by his hand.

He half-turned to watch Kaoru tuck her loose hair behind an ear and smile to herself as she looked toward him. Her eyes widened at the fearsome expression she saw on his face. Her eyes dropped to his tightly closed fist and then to the black envelope that lay discarded at his feet.

"Will you get my sword for me?" He heard himself ask her, "There is only one more person left for me to kill."

She nodded and went to retrieve his swords from across the room.

"Both of them?" Her lilting question was innocent.

"No. One will be enough." Was that his voice speaking? He questioned himself. How had he managed not to choke on the words?

She was coming back toward him, his long sword cradled in her arms. One last murder, he thought. But it was the one person in the whole world whom he wanted to protect, the only person he had wished not to harm. He shut his eyes for a moment but the name on the black card was burned into his memory.

Kaoru.