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The Long Road Home: Chapter 2 - Dreams and Nightmares

by ranma15177301291

Kenshin awoke with the sun. He let the last traces of a dream slip through his fingers. It had been by all definitions, a great dream. It was one of those “if I weren’t me” kind of dreams. When it started, the dream had been just another day: laundry, cooking, cleaning, the normal trappings of a Kamiya Dojo day for Kenshin. The night however had dissolved into something...unforgettable. In the dream he and Kaoru had been alone, and it had made all the difference. Kenshin began to consider a couple buckets of icy water from the well to soak himself to the skin with when he heard a creak of the boards in the hall, which was just as un-arousing. He heard the footfalls coming in a direct path toward his door that went on to stop inside his room; trying to give the illusion of sleep, Kenshin’s mind was busy collecting what he could from the approaching footsteps. The amount of sound the person’s steps made with each movement and the decidedly masculine strides the body took, they were making a mental picture of his would-be assailant. His mind rewound to the previous night. Hiko!his mind recalled, was in the house. About to open an eyelid to confirm his shishou’s presence in his room, icy water rained down on him from above.

“ORORORORORORORORO!” Kenshin screamed and shivered and went straight for his sword. Hospitality be damned!Hospitality was something he could set aside if his shishou intended to treat him like he was thirteen again.

“I haven’t gotten you like that since you were twelve. You’re slipping Baka Deshi!” called out, as the hopping mad Rurouni pulled on his hakama. “See you outside.” Hiko dodged Kenshin’s well-thrown and sodden sleeping yukata. “Ooohh...testy!” Hiko ran from the doorway and Kenshin was alone again. His master was obviously in a better mood this morning. Wonderful, he’s in a good mood so I get my ass kicked.Through his rage at being fully awakened in such a horrible manner after such an excellent dream, he smiled. This would be therapeutic.

“Fine shishou...we’ll play it your way. But we’ll still play by my rules.” Kenshin bolted not for the door Hiko left through but through the shoji leading outside. The sun was bright in the early morning on this side of the house. Strategically it put Kenshin at a disadvantage for a few seconds, but even if Hiko was running at full speed he would never reach the opposite side of the house this quickly unless he ran straight through Kaoru’s room. Hiko was many things, but he’d never been a pervert. Kenshin didn’t, however, intend to stay on this side of the house for long. He was already running faster than he had in ages. When he reached the courtyard his mind focused completely on its destination.Up.

The rurouni wondered what this would look like to the residents of the dojo. He leapt for the roof half-naked with his wet hair sticking to his back and shoulders with a curtain of usually unruly bangs plastered to his forehead and face. His sakabatou glinted in the morning sun, and he cursed the beacon giving away his position. Where are you shishou?His senses stretched to locate his shishou’s ken-ki but he found nothing. Perhaps Hiko had just wanted to irritate him? The tiles on the roof were luxuriously warm against the slight chill of the late fall air. There!his mind yanked him back to reality. Kenshin ran silently and flipped gracefully with a half turn of his body to land in a ready stance facing Hiko and, to Kenshin’s surprise, Yahiko.

“And so you see, that is what I meant about keeping your left guard up.” Both Hiko and Yahiko were looking at the soaking wet Kenshin, but with drastically different expressions. Hiko was practically laughing. Yahiko was stunned. “Well I better show you, or you’ll never learn properly.” Hiko’s sword was out before anyone, besides Kenshin, could have humanly seen it. “You remind me of all the times I threw your beaten carcass into the river, Kenshin. Shall I dump you into the well for old times sake?”

Kenshin drew his body into a tense coil. Hiko was already springing toward him and predicting his master’s moves was difficult at the best of times. With my shoulder as it is I will have to compensate.Hiko was thankfully starting slow and they traded blow for blow in an athletic display of twists, spins, and flips that made Kenshin’s still healing body protest in any manner of aches and a few piercing pains, but nothing he couldn’t handle. The two men had been master and student for so long that Kenshin could still remember the way it felt to spar with Hiko despite the long separation between them. It was almost like a dance that he had learned and never quite forgotten. Kenshin wondered idly what life would be like when the dance was no longer achievable and felt a small ache of fear well up inside of him. “KENSHIN! CONCENTRATE!” Hiko growled and lunged forward.

This line of thought was distracting him too much and Hiko, noticing, was beginning to take advantage of his inattention. Kenshin felt his ground slipping. In two moves, Hiko would have the best of him. He took the moves away, two steps to the back and then a space-eating leap backwards. The ground Kenshin had lost was now regained but Kenshin needed to go forward, not backward, to defeat the master of his school. Both men were breathing heavily, but Hiko less than Kenshin. His master would always be that one unattainable step beyond Kenshin in his mind. Despite the questionable condition of his body at the moment it wouldn’t have really mattered if Kenshin were in perfect shape. His small body was forever placing him behind Hiko in strength and skill. He had no time to ponder a way to make Hiko’s size a weapon against him because he had already jumped cleanly over his head and crouched to strike again. Block to the right. Strike to upward block. Left...no Shishou went right!He didn’t have time to block and he felt the metal slap his stomach. It would leave an angry welt. Kenshin cursed aloud and redoubled his efforts. He began to give and take ground hoping to lure Hiko into the squared off space between the dojo’s high walls. There in the more isolated spaces of the dojo were not only good solid walls to deflect to, but trees to use to his advantage. Kenshin slid under Hiko’s arm and gave his shishou a not so gentle smack on the ribs. Kenshin felt a small glow of pride well up.

Kenshin stopped moving as he sheathed the sakabatou with a triumphant inner smile. “Shishou.” At the sound of Kenshin’s voice both men rose to their standing height. Kenshin breathed heavily and tried to get himself ready in case another attack was coming.

“And that, is what happens when you forget your guard on the left.” Hiko stared past the now glowering Kenshin into Yahiko’s awe struck eyes. I’m ignored...Kenshin let his shoulders droop.

“Shishou, please tell me I wasn’t woken with a bucket of icy water from the well just to give Yahiko a quick two second explanation on left guard.” Kenshin spoke calmly. Maybe I can try my hand at looking menacing. No, it’ll only scare Yahiko anyway.

“Actually no, I need you to show me around Tokyo. It’s been years since I last saw this place.” Hiko had become more relaxed and was now looking at Kenshin for a positive or negative response.

“Of course, Shishou!” Kenshin bowed lowly to signify the end of their match and his assentto showing his master around town. “I will attend to breakfast first. Oh yes, and I have to see how much laundry needs to be done, and of course I will find out Kaoru-dono’s plans for the day. I must be here if she needs me later...” Kenshin trailed off his list when he looked up from his now chore delegated fingers. “WHAT?” Kenshin felt a mixture of embarrassment and anger color and contract his face.

“Well, I can see who wears the hakama in this relationship.” Hiko was rolling his eyes. He heard a small laugh that must have been Yahiko, which was cut off suddenly with a small gasping noise. Kenshin swore Hiko was about to make a crack about his masculinity when the charming “hakama wearer” herself stepped around Hiko.

“You’re supposed to be resting that shoulder!” Kenshin saw a bokken “appear” in her hand. It slammed its way down, down, down over his head. “And you’re all wet! It’s freezing out here! YOU’RE NAKED!!!” Despite being bludgeoned Kenshin was still standing albeit with a bit of a tilt. He noticed that Kaoru was turning as red as a cherry.

“Ororororoooo!” Kenshin felt himself losing the war once again. He stumbled around a bit and lost sight of the young woman and he finally came to a stumbling rest looking up at his master. Hiko wasn’t saying anything at all and looked bemused. I will always let you win if you can stop even Hiko from effectively demoralizing me in the morning.He closed his eyes to stop the spinning momentarily. Suddenly his wet and cold shivering body was covered by warmth. His eyes were closed but he knew it was Kaoru who’d thrown her hanten around his shoulders and she still had her hands on him.

“Kenshin, by the way. You’re looking more like a skinny brothel girl every day. Eat something.” Hiko got Kenshin’s attention back and he felt the glare in the squint of his eyes.

“You don’t look like a girl to me.” Kaoru whispered faintly into his ear, and he couldn’t help but smile in spite of himself. She was blushing very, very red now, and when their eyes met she looked away quickly but had not yet removed her hands from his shoulders.

“Call me when breakfast is ready Baka-deshi.” Hiko couldn’t even seem to break his happy mood.

“Kenshin...” Yahiko did. Kenshin went from oro-fied to serious in seconds. Kaoru let go of him and he felt the cool autumn air blow against his still dripping chest, which was still exposed to the open air despite the jacket over his shoulders. He was missing Kaoru’s hands all the more because when she was holding him his body seemed to be warm all over...and it was not simply embarrassment. He could more than admit that...at least to himself. Now however, was not a time to think on such things; Kenshin needed to speak with Yahiko. There was now two months of time built up since they had saved Kaoru, and they had not spoken even once about it in all that time. There was a lot to say. Unfortunately, Kenshin had no idea where to begin a conversation like this. As unoriginal as it may seem...perhaps “I’m sorry” will be a good beginning.Kenshin walked beyond Yahiko into the building and the boy was massaging a bump on his head.

“Yahiko, will you join me in the kitchen? There is much we must discuss.” Kenshin waited for him to nod and the young man fell into step behind him.

“Kenshin...maybe you should get dressed first.” Yahiko suggested in a small voice that still held a little awe in it despite the disrespectful tone.

“Oro...”

Kenshin looked over at Yahiko while his hands began to wash the vegetables. They had only stopped by his room long enough for him to get dressed...but that had happened in complete silence. It was as if neither side were sure how to begin. He was almost surprised when the boy began to rinse the rice but felt a slow smile insinuate itself across his face.

“Kenshin...If this is about the garden being torn up I swear I didn’t do it...see after I woke up at Megumi’s clinic...” Yahiko surprised him twice by being the first to speak. It seems that I am not the only one looking for closure.

Kenshin interrupted him. “I know Yahiko, the garden was my fault.” Yahiko looked at him as if he’d grown a second head. “It is I who needs to apologize, Yahiko. I failed you. I failed Kaoru. I failed myself most of all. I should have seen through such a ridiculous scam. You have every right to feel that I have let you down and you have every right to be angry.” Kenshin bowed to Yahiko but the Tokyo Samurai’s hands stopped scrubbing the rice and clenched tightly around the little white grains.

“No!” Yahiko looked at him with anger flashing in his eyes as he shook his hands free of the rice. “If you failed, Kaoru would be dead. I would be alone. ALONE!” The boy slammed the rinsed rice bucket down. “I had to believe in something, through the whole mess. I had to believe!” The boy shook his head and glared defiantly at Kenshin. “Don’t apologize to me. I never gave up! Even when I watched them put her in the ground; I knew...I knew that she would never give up on me.” Kenshin was startled at what Yahiko was saying. He watched what I could not...and still he believed in her.

“That’s why I kept bothering you.” Yahiko’s eyes were watering and he scrubbed at them mercilessly with his sleeve. “You maybe lost a little faith...but you got it back. Everyone gets tired, but you didn’t give up.” Kenshin tried to imagine being in Yahiko’s place, the anger and resentment of being forced to stand in Kenshin and Sano’s position while they did little more than wallow in grief and anger. I don’t know how to make this easier for you Yahiko. I have already done so much to hurt you. Perhaps it can’t be any easier...and maybe you have grown beyond the need of that.Yahiko looked up with a defeated look and said again, “Everyone gets tired.”

Kenshin nodded his head to agree, but he couldn’t help feeling a crushing weight in his chest on hearing Yahiko talk about his boundless faith. “I don’t deserve your faith. I didn’t...” Yahiko threw out his arm in a negating gesture.

“Leave it in the past. I want to talk about it, but I don’t want to talk about it...” Kenshin couldn’t help but understand the sentiment. Yahiko put his hands down and sighed. “If we want to lay blame I could start a long time ago with a lot of people that deserve my hatred more than you do. Especially considering that you did save me.” Yahiko turned away. “I wanted to be angry and hate you...I thought it would be easier if I did.” Kenshin watched as he clenched his fists at his side and held back against the urge to touch his shoulder. The tension was over as quickly as it had begun and the hands that had been clenched fell open. “I couldn’t do it. Actually the only person I might still be pissed at is Sano, and I don’t think it’ll last for as long as he’s gone, so it’s really nothing to worry about. I’ll tell you if I’m still angry three or four years from now. I don’t want to live like that though. I saw Enishi...and if that’s what holding hate in your heart is like, I don’t want it. No matter what, just promise me Kenshin...promise you won’t leave me like that again.” He turned around and Kenshin was startled to see that he actually had tears staining his cheeks. Yahiko immediately looked at the floor.

He had looked at Kenshin with eyes that were still angry and maybe betrayed, but they were begging him for solace. They were begging him not like the Tokyo samurai he claimed to be, but like a ten-year-old boy. A little too pained, a little too vulnerable. Kenshin wasn’t really sure what to do next. What could he possibly say? Everything he’d wanted to say had become trivial in the wake of what Yahiko was saying. He dropped the radish, walked directly toward him with his head bowed and hugged the boy close to him. They stayed that way for a few minutes and Kenshin felt all the tension slowly flowing out of the young man. He let him go and with resolve said, “I will always be at your side Yahiko. But I can’t possibly make a promise like that. I wish I could, because I do want to stand with you always.” The boy nodded his head and rubbed one more time at his eyes to clear them before he looked up again. There is going to be a day when you have to stand, alone, and fight. I hope you take me with you in your spirit that day. I want to be worthy of that.

“Please Yahiko, at least accept my apology for my lack of belief. I was too far gone in my sorrow to see what you could see all along, and I hurt you. I want to help you. I want to regain your trust because that is something that I owe you.” Yahiko and Kenshin stood in silence both feeling a bit more at peace for what was now truly left in the past.

“Kenshin, I want to say that everything is fine, but it’s going to be a while...you know?” He looked to the side and cleaned out his ear with his pinkie finger, one of Yahiko’s nervous habits. “Besides, Kaoru doesn’t even know everything about what happened yet does she?” Yahiko seemed to be asking him and Kenshin shook his head “no”. “I don’t know what to say around her anymore. It’s never going to be the same.” Yahiko hung his head and sighed deeply.

“I feel like I should just try to go back to the way it was but I feel like I should be treating her differently. I got her back.” Kenshin looked at Yahiko in confusion. “I used to make these lists...of all of the things I would do better if I got my parents back.” The young man looked confused and started to pace the floor a bit. “I never got them back...but I got Kaoru back. Finally, after losing everything I got something back, and I feel like I should make sure she knows I’m grateful...But, I’ve just been avoiding her instead so I don’t have to.”

Yahiko got a far away look in his eyes and scuffed his toe against the floor. Kenshin, sensing that the boy was uncomfortable in the direction their conversation was heading, broke in; “Time has a way of healing things. Kaoru should be told what transpired in her absence. It’s not fair to assume that she can’t handle the information. I can tell her alone, I won’t make you...”

“I want to. Maybe later tonight, or tomorrow. You should talk to her first though. I wouldn’t know where to start.” Yahiko blurted out over Kenshin’s words. They nodded in agreement.

“That would be fine. Yahiko, I’m sorry. It won’t be long now before things are back to normal. Especially when we’re all able to communicate again. We do need to talk, I think we should all agree with that since we’ve all been treading so lightly around one another, and it’s starting to take its toll. I have an idea that might work out if I can get Kaoru to agree to it...” Kenshin bit down on his lip in a frustrated manner. If I could only get her alone for five seconds that is...

“Things haven’t been normal since I tried to mug you on that bridge.” Yahiko smiled a warning and pointed at Kenshin. “Well, whatever, but don’t tell anybody I cried and hugged you or I’ll bury you back where I found you in that hovel and no one will be bringing your sorry butt back this time.” With that he pushed away from their talk. “I’m gonna’ skip breakfast and go see Tsubame and Tae over at the Akabeko. I promised that I would help out today. I can surprise them by showing up on time for a change.”

Kenshin smiled and put up his hands; everything was going to be okay eventually. They both needed time. “I will bring shishou around this afternoon for lunch.” Kenshin thought to himself There is more that needs to be said...but it can wait. I’m sure he’s finished for now.

“Kenshin...ummm...What did, happen? To the garden?” It seemed like Yahiko was a little more than nervous to ask, so Kenshin decided that the best way to deal with it would be in an offhand manner.

“Aa, the garden. I was very angry, and there was no one to vent my anger on. There seems to be a strange reoccurring theme in my life with farming and disaster.” Kenshin returned to his vegetable chopping and Yahiko set the fully cleansed rice on the table.

“There’s some deep tragic meaningful “Buddha and Kami know” kind of symbolism to all this isn’t there?” Yahiko didn’t wait for an explanation, which in Kenshin’s mind was for the best since he didn’t intend to say anything more. “See ya’ Kenshin.” He slid open the door and was gone even faster than Kenshin thought possible for the boy.

The revelations of Yahiko’s talk were mulling about in Kenshin’s head; the boy was still angry but now Kenshin had a better idea of what was going through his mind. I guess that I have to be careful of what I say...He needs someone to tell him that something like that will never happen again. I can’t though, especially now that my body is deteriorating so that I won’t be able to use the Hiten Mitsurugi. Someone may come for me...and they might win.Kenshin let his thoughts carry him through the rest of making breakfast.

“He cares for you greatly.” Kamiya was practically glowing with embarrassment, either from Kenshin’s half nudity or the closeness from a few minutes before, Hiko couldn’t tell. She seemed to light on fire when he said the word “cares”, but Kenshin’s shishou was never one to mince words. “I don’t know what someone as lovely as you would see in such a...small...man.” Hiko remembered the way they had responded in unison the night before and decided getting the girl’s ire up would be similar to teasing Kenshin. All I have to do is insult her a little. No use going over the top.

Kaoru immediately took the bait and whirled around on Kenshin’s teacher. “Kenshin is a wonderful man! He’s smart! And caring! And he doesn’t have an ego problem like some other swordsmen I could name!”

Hiko smiled and let a small chuckle escape his lips. Yep. Just like my baka-deshi.He paused before he spoke again. “Why don’t you tell him?” Hiko watched the anger drain away leaving embarrassment and the realization of his trap. “Ah. I see you would compliment the moron well. You would have to be the brains of the operation.” He let the words sting for only a second before he plunged forward. “All insults and fun aside Kamiya...” Here she gave him an annoyed look that he decided to thoroughly ignore. “You are what he needs. Don’t hide from it. You’ll only cause yourself pain. If you wait for him to make all of the first moves out of fear neither of you will get to the fun stuff until you’re aged.” She blushed a lovely shade of red that Hiko admired on her before moving on. “Kenshin is shy and he has pain that holds him back.” She was looking at him intently now and as he started to walk Kaoru fell into step next to him.

“Do you know of his past?” She nodded her head yes, and then seemed to think better of it.

“I know a little. I know that there is a lot that he still hasn’t worked through. I want to know more...but I want him to tell me himself.” Her words were confident, as if she expected this information any day. This is the same confidence that led her to the mountain last year.Hiko thought. It’s like she’s without hesitation.

With that he shook his head and smiled, continuing his questions, “Do you know what happened here while you were gone?” Kaoru shook her head “no”.

“I don’t know...At first we were all so busy. Then I realized everyone was watching me. They wouldn’t say why, they wouldn’t tell me when I asked. So far I haven’t felt comfortable asking Yahiko. He looks so haunted sometimes it chills my blood. I asked Megumi and she told me to ask Kenshin. I couldn’t trouble him though...Sometimes he looks worse than Yahiko...and he’s still healing...” Kaoru stopped walking and let the words trail off.

“And he hasn’t turned forty yet, and the moon hasn’t turned green...Kamiya there will always be excuses to hide behind. When the old one runs out a new one will take its place. Ask him, ask him about all of it...perhaps it will set you both free.” Hiko was about to continue when she threw her arms around his, and hugged him. At first he stood still as a rail, but slowly his hands came up to return the embrace. He was still very uncomfortable with such an outward expression of affection.

“I’m scared.” She said simply. A tear slid down her cheek and a small sob escaped her lips.

WOMEN!Thought Hiko, torn between the appeal of hugging a beautiful woman and hugging a weeping woman that had a relationship with his student. He knew how to handle men, but it had been ages since he’d even held a woman. He stole himself for some crass comments and instead other words slid out before he could recapture them and Hiko wondered if he might just be going soft in his old age. “Shhhh. Don’t cry. Never give up. You’re the Shihondai of your school. It’s a hard road you’ve chosen for yourself. There were thirteen before me, and I have often found myself lacking in the strength that I needed. I couldn’t keep my student from making his mistakes, and when he’d made them I had no words for him that could save him the pain that he’d created. It would be wrong for me to stand by and watch you dance around each other when I could do something more. You’re both stupid. Him for not being brave enough to come to you, and you for not insisting on it. If he fails again I’ll feel responsible. You’re a beautiful girl with a beautiful spirit. People can’t live alone forever...and you can’t betray yourself by giving away your true intentions.” Hiko was simply relieved that she’d stopped crying. “A sword is created in fire and is tempered in the heat. You can’t make the blade without fire, and the same is true of deeper feelings. Not that I’ve had all that much experience mind you...” She laughed and Hiko allowed himself the smallest of smiles. “Kamiya...”

“Yes...” She paused for a second before saying, “Shishou?” She smiled even brighter and Hiko felt his heart warm...well...a little.

“You’re hugging me.”

“I’m sorry!” She reddened, let go, and bowed.

“Well, it was fine with me, but I think Kenshin is turning a horrible shade of green. Breakfast? So soon?” He whistled while he walked in the direction of the dining room. “Don’t keep her for too long. She looks pale.” Hiko shoved Kenshin in the direction of the lawn as he made his way toward what he hoped was the right direction. Idiots. Both of them.He shook his head. I shouldn’t meddle in their affairs, but I think I’ve been standing on the sidelines for far too long in Kenshin’s life. I let him make too many mistakes when I could have saved him from them. He’s too stubborn. Maybe the girl can help him with that.Hiko followed his nose toward breakfast.

Kenshin worked in silence after Yahiko left as he tried to plan how to speak with Kaoru. The swordsman had intended to talk with her for days...but now he had a time meted out thanks to Yahiko. The timetable was a good thing, because he had honestly been trying to put it off. For as long as humanly possible it seemed. When the vegetables were all sliced and arranged the rice finished cooking and Kenshin went to round up the rest of the diners. His feet padded through the halls and led him to the place he and Hiko had fought earlier. What he saw made him stop dead in his tracks. Kaoru, his Kaoru, was hugging Hiko and sobbing. Worse Hiko was hugging her back and whispering to her. Kenshin felt himself jumping to conclusions. She stopped crying, smiled, and bowed. Hiko’s voice raised enough for Kenshin to hear. “That’s fine with me, but I think Kenshin is turning a horrible shade of green. Breakfast? So soon?” Kenshin nodded and smiled regarding his teacher well despite his overgrown imagination. When Hiko brushed his side however, he dispelled all of Kenshin’s stranger assumptions. “Don’t keep her for too long. She looks pale.” Then he was shoved none too gently out toward the beautiful girl with the moist eyes. Hiko was gone, and it was just the two of them.

“Kenshin, I know that probably looked really odd but I swear it wasn’t what it might have looked like. I want you to know that...that what you might believe...” Kaoru was turning pinker by the second and let out a little nervous laugh.

“Kaoru...even if my mind did formulate such unpleasant things, I hardly believe for a second that anything like that would happen. Well, I imagine it might. He’s a little egotistical, granted, but I imagine there is alot that one could find attractive or...maybe a more appropriate word would be exotic, about Shishou. Well, then again, I guess that if I were a woman I could find nothing attractive about him...but that comes from living with him and I think that anyone would eventually...What?”

“Hold on...” Kaoru held up her hand and placed it on his shoulder sending a small thrill up his spine. “Did you just say Kaoru?”

“Yes, Kaoru-dono.” Kenshin felt horrible nerves stabbing in his side giving him a hint of vertigo.

“No, no, no!” She shook her head and stepped closer to him, and Kenshin was trapped. He could do nothing but nervously stare at her smiling face. Suddenly in noticing the tension in his shoulder she stepped back. “You...you...don’t have to. I understand. I’m sorry.” Her face became impassive and a breeze stirred some fallen leaves on the ground. As the breeze ended she began to slip away from him toward the dojo. “I’ll just, go. Breakfast right?” He felt time slowing down as he watched her walking slowly away, and he knew that he had to tell her what was on his mind. Yahiko was right to tell him to talk. It was time.

“No, please stop. I don’t want you to be angry with me.” She stopped and a chill wind blew leaves about the yard once again, and Kaoru’s hair seemed to take on a life of its own. He came toward her and summoned up his courage. “I care...I care so much I don’t know what to say, but for your sake I will try.” His hand came to rest on her shoulder and the smile that painted itself on Kaoru’s face was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen. The space between them melted away completely in that second and she rested her forehead on Kenshin’s shoulder.

“That’s all you had to say.” She whispered into his chest and held him tightly so that he could feel her heart beating. His eyes closed and his face turned up to the sky. He had to marvel at the perfection of it all, the morning sun was warm against his face and the breeze blew leaves about their feet and they were together.

“HELLO! Breakfast. Inside?” A voice rang from inside the dojo. Bringing both from their reverie.

“Yes! Shishou! We’re coming!” He shouted toward the building. “Tonight, will you accompany me on a walk, Kaoru? I have needed to talk with you most of all.” Kenshin was nervous that she would say no, but then he considered that she had no idea what he wanted to talk about and couldn’t possibly know what he was about to tell her. This fact didn’t particularly bolster his confidence.

“Of course, Kenshin.” Her eyes unburied themselves from his shoulder and she nodded while another slow smile spread itself across Kenshin’s face. He gave her a small hug and let his hands fall to his side as she did the same.

“Thank-you...Kaoru. Tonight then?” She bobbed her head energetically and bounded back toward the house. It was a much better end than Kaoru walking away in the sadness she’d held before. Kenshin took a deep breath. Things were going to work out...for all of them. He took another breath to ready himself for Hiko and then entered the dining room.

Kaoru was already talking. “...and I’m sorry to keep you waiting Hiko-san.” They began to dish themselves up the various food items and began to eat in a companionable silence, but soon Kaoru started to talk about the things that Kenshin might show their guest. “Ooooo, I know! The sake shop in town is just lovely and the proprietor was very close friends with my father.” Kenshin fought the urge to roll his eyes. Kaoru was positively glowing with energy, and Hiko was absorbed enough in their conversation to leave him alone so far during breakfast.

“Good choice in friends. It would be nice to get some sake here in Tokyo before I left.” That’s when it dawned on Kenshin. When he’d walked up to them the night before...No sake jug. His mind flipped from scene to scene, but it had been absent in every memory. He hadn’t had a drop of alcohol since he’d joined them.

Kenshin smacked his closed fist into his open hand and said, “Aa, I’ve noticed your missing companion.”

“I’m startled that you have the ability to focus at all.” Hiko said snidely.

“Shishou!!!” Kenshin tried not to look too offended. He was.

“I’ve made an oath to drink with none but Hitomi until I leave this city.” Hiko’s countenance gave nothing away but Kenshin could see the pain behind his eyes. Kenshin understood nothing better than the pain of loss, and lowered his head.

“I have to leave.” Kaoru stood and bowed to the two men. “I have a lesson at the Dojo across town, and I need to visit Tae before I go to my second lesson. She wanted to talk...”

“We can meet at the Akabeko then...At one o’clock?” Kenshin looked hopefully at the retreating figure.

“Yes, certainly. That would be a great idea, as long as you don’t mind me arriving as I am.” She seemed uncertain. The gi and Hakama with the bag and shinai slung over her shoulder, reminding Kenshin once again that she was an unusual woman indeed.

“That would be perfect.” Kenshin looked at her blue sparkling eyes and grinned. She blushed and looked down for a second before her head came quickly back up.

“Hold on! Who’s going to pay for that? HUH?” She waved her Shinai threateningly at the ex-hitokiri.

He held up both hands in what he hoped would be a placating manner. “Sessha will pay Kaoru-dono. I have saved up a bit.” She smiled at Kenshin and the bokken retreated from its head-bound trajectory.

“Kenshin, Hiko-san, I’ll see you at lunch!” Her bubbly figure disappeared from the room. “BYE!”

Kenshin watched her leave and then as an afterthought remarked. “I think that’s the fastest and earliest I’ve ever seen Kaoru leave. Yahiko was the same...Not even staying for breakfast. Perhaps there was a change in everyone’s schedule.”

Hiko was apparently not paying attention to Kenshin’s musings. “I can’t believe you let her get away with that. She certainly is a violent young tanooki.” Hiko stared out the doors into the yard that Kaoru had left through.

“It really isn’t that bad. Honestly her temper has improved measurably...”

“Mmmmhmmm. I don’t really want to know. Shall we be off as well? I have much to see and it would seem that as usual you are late to start, Deshi. Kenshin looked at the pile of dishes and then back at his former teacher.

“I’ll rinse them now and do them tonight as I prepare dinner.” Kenshin stood and began to carry the breakfast dishes to the wash basin.

“Good. I have the location of our first stop I don’t know how long each will take, but if I remember your training properly patience is something you developed and mastered out of necessity a long time ago.”

“One day Shishou...One day.” Kenshin muttered as he walked from the room with the dishes.

“I won’t hold my breath.”

Kamiya Kaoru left the dojo with a sort of extra bounce in her step. Kenshin said he “cared”. Maybe he more than “cared”, maybe all of this was finally leading somewhere. Hiko should never have worried...or whatever it was that he was doing. Kenshin would eventually come to his senses on his own. Her heart was beating at a million miles a minute and no matter how fast her feet traveled she couldn’t seem to outpace its thrumming. Her senses told her to concentrate on what she would do in class today, but her mind could only recall the embrace that she and Kenshin had shared before breakfast. She closed her eyes and thought about the night before, his fingers tangling through her hair as he seemed to weigh the idea of maybe kissing her. Hiko had ruined that moment...but really who cared. What was a little delay? Kaoru started to imagine what she might wear on their walk together. He had even asked her formally. She couldn’t even imagine what her father would say right now if he were still alive. Okay, there might be a really long talk about letting strange people you don’t know move into your house first...

The previous evening she had been lying in the yard and staring up at the stars. Actually she hadn’t been paying a bit of attention to the stars but it would be a good enough cover if a certain someone asked any questions. Two weeks...she had watched the sun rise out of the waves circling Enishi’s island, and bravely waited. Never in a million years would she have admitted it out loud, but she had felt completely helpless. Enishi was without doubt psychotic in his grief. There had been moments when Kaoru wondered if Kenshin would arrive on the island to find her corpse. There wasn’t a moment in all of that time she hadn’t believed Kenshin would come for her. Sometime in the second week she had started to worry despite any deeply held beliefs. What could be keeping him? He could be hurt...or sick. It had been then and there that Kaoru had decided that she would train. If Kenshin did in fact want anything to do with her in a more...involved sense, he would need someone that could take care of herself. It wasn’t that Kamiya Kashin was ineffective or that Kaoru was a bad swordsmistress it was just that Kenshin himself ran with a very rough crowd. All of her friends had to search for strength at one time or another. Yahiko had sought strength from her. Sano had found strength on the road to help Kenshin. Kenshin...Well, Kaoru wasn’t certain where that near wellspring of strength came from. Hiko had trained him, but the two of them were more like oil and water than anyone else she could think of. Maybe his strength came from Tomoe?She felt a small lurch in her heart when she thought about Kenshin’s dead wife. How can one compare to the perfection of a ghost?There was no way to make it less painful for Kenshin other than to simply be there. Maybe that would be enough...the way things seemed to be headed.

On the day that Kenshin had finally arrived to save her from the island she’d been meditating for hours in the dawn’s light. Somehow she had begun a kind of routine. She would meditate, and then practice her swordless forms until the sun came up over the edge of the sea. After that she would clean up so that her captor wouldn’t know what she’d been up to and then cook something completely inedible and try to gag it down while daydreaming about Kenshin’s miso soup. Then she would steal the broom and practice all of her sword forms with it while periodically doing some sweeping. So when she heard Kenshin’s voice over the tide she nearly leapt for joy. He came! He finally came for me!She was allowed a kimono for the first time since she’d arrived. Somehow she knew that the waiting was over. Her family had come to take her home no matter what. At what cost to themselves?Kaoru still couldn’t say. At the time she’d just “known” that Kenshin wouldn’t want to stay at her dojo anymore, not after all of the worry she’d probably put him through. This had probably caused him no end of frustration. Since she could never be what he needed...It was useless to worry about it now. She was going to get home, and there was nothing more important than that. At the very least she could say that the people making rude comments and complaining about her cooking would be people she loved. People who didn’t strangle her or vomit on her, these were the best thoughts she’d had all week.

The angry swordswoman had to stumble through the woods, and Enishi didn’t seem to care if she caught up or not. “Slow down! Jerk! I can’t believe you’re making me tromp around this way!” Kaoru yelled much in the same manner all the way to her destination, and was still complaining when she broke through the thicker part of the forest into the outer-lying sparse foliage that became the open space of the beach. They had all seemed so happy to see her. “EVERYONE!” She looked at them and their faces radiated excitement. She had survived and then, just beyond Misao... “Ken...” He looked tired and a little thinner than usual. Before she could think beyond his thinness however Enishi stepped between them. Blocking her way. He said he would kill her if she stepped onto the beach. He had been unable to kill her as of yet, but something in the way he said the words made her believe him. When Kenshin finally spoke to her the smile he gave her was wonderful.

“Wait there. I’ll come for you.” His features stood out in sharp relief from his almost sickly thinness, and yet Kaoru could still sense his strength. He would have brought her home if the devil himself was standing between them. Indeed Enishi fought like a demon, and when Kenshin had destroyed his eardrum she’d been sure that the fight would soon be over. Then...

“BANG!” A shot rang out over the beach and Kaoru could only watch in horror as Kenshin was shot. Time slowed down as she left the safety of her forest vantage. She could faintly hear her friends shouting for her to stop and yet her feet kept moving until she was fully between Kenshin and the new threat. The words I won’t die.just kept sliding like mush through her brain. Kaoru had made the first promise she couldn’t keep. Her eyes closed as she awaited the bullet or the sword that would end her life, but it never came. When she finally opened her eyes again Enishi was breaking the little man with the gun in two. Enishi had turned on the man easily...and really what did someone working for a man like Enishi expect? She’d seen the type of people they surrounded themselves with and knew right away that they were the type one could count on to NOT count on. Enishi gave himself up because it’s what Tomoe would have wanted. No one had asked, but it was what Kaoru wanted as well. Kaoru caught a falling Kenshin on the beach and her heart had never been so full.

“Oro.”

He was weak and battered and thinner than her mind could have placed him, even thinner than he’d been when he entered her life. They returned to Tokyo soon after, and Kaoru gave Enishi the last remaining thoughts of his sister in the form of her diary. She had wondered what it might contain, but decided that the woman’s thoughts belonged to the people who had lived it. Besides if Kenshin wanted her to know later he would tell her...Right?

Kaoru smiled at the Tokyo streets and then at the dojo coming into view. She arrived ten minutes earlier than usual. “KAMIYA-SENSEI!!! Kamiya-sensei is here!!!” Rin, a boy from the dojo, bounded up and bowed deeply to Kaoru. “It’s so wonderful to see you. The prospect of never seeing you again was saddening.”

“It’s great to be back.” She smiled at the student and bowed back. Okay, so I was gone for a while but that’s really strange.She looked up and it looked as if the entire dojo was emptying of it’s students and they filed out quickly and Kaoru couldn’t help feeling a bit odd, if not loved.

“Kaoru-chan!” Maekawa-sensei bowed quickly but surprised Kaoru by running forward and hugging the young shihondai. “Oh, god it’s too good to be true. I couldn’t stand burying your father, burying you was impossible. An old man like me isn’t supposed to bury seventeen-year-old women. I was going to invite your ward to stay here with me after the funeral, especially since Himura-san left. Every time I came over however the dojo was empty, or later that Aoshi fellow said Yahiko and some girl...Misao were looking for “evidence”. I gave up trying to track him down figuring that if he needed me he’d come by. When I heard you were alive...When you came back with all of them...” The man holding Kaoru was full of emotion. Kaoru herself however was in shock. “Kaoru-chan? Is there something wrong?” Her world was tilting horribly off center. DEAD? No...NO!

“Bu-bu-buried?!? Kenshin missing? Yahiko...ALONE? What do you mean? Maekawa-sensei...Dead? I ...you all thought I was dead?” She was shaking uncontrollably and her legs gave out. Kneeling on the ground she fought back what felt like either a sob or vomit...she couldn’t tell. Maekawa held her trembling form and stroked her hair. She thought she also saw him wave the students away because when she had recovered herself enough to look up they had gone.

“I’m sorry Kaoru-chan. I thought you knew. Did they intend for us not to tell you?” It seemed as if he was holding his breath waiting for Kaoru to move.

“I...I don’t know. I’m sorry Sensei I think that I’m going to go home. I promise to not make a habit out of being so emotional in your dojo. I will return after I’ve sorted this out...in a couple of days or so. Thank you for being so patient with me.” She bowed low at her waist and then waited until his affirmative nod.

“Be well Kaoru-chan. We will be eagerly awaiting your return.” She could tell that Maekawa was very disturbed but was understanding. He wouldn’t hold this against her.

She walked mechanically out of the dojo. Her earlier thoughts that made her heart skip were all but gone. Yahiko had been left alone? Where did Kenshin go? He had looked terrible when she came back with him to the dojo. Starved and almost sick looking when he’d fought against Enishi. Things began to click into place and her world began to fall apart. Her feet had almost tripled speed. She had to get to the Akabeko. “Yahiko,” his odd behavior, the way he looked at her sometimes. She clutched her stomach and felt bile rush up her throat. All of the people in town, the way they’d whispered when she went past. It was all some horrible nightmare. Had her friends wanted to spare her the pain of knowing what they’d been through? The tears had broken free long ago and she wanted to stop them. What kind of woman was she turning out to be? What kind of shihondai was she turning out to be if her first reaction was that of a little girl?

Her mind began making connections, but after those connections were made they only seemed to make more questions. Kaoru’s friends had been happy to see her...ALIVE. How had she died? Who was there to make them believe she was dead? Was there someone who looked like her who had taken her place? If so, had Enishi killed an innocent woman just because they had the same face? Was there just a body? How long was Yahiko alone before Aoshi and Misao arrived? Kenshin disappeared? Where did he go? Sano...That’s why he got all the way out to farm country! Just...WHY? Most important at the top of all of these questions was. “Kenshin, in all that time? Why didn’t you tell me?” She could almost make out the sign “Akabeko” through her haze of tears.

End of chapter 2