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A Road to Aizu: Chapter 6 - Life Lessons

by ShoshanaFlower ::: 01.Dec.2004

I wish I had some clue as to what time it is. I can tell it's sometime past noon, but that's all. And I'm tired. And hungry. Megumi woke me up before it was light because one of her patients was having a baby. As part of my new apprenticeship, I had to go along and help. I'm already wondering if the apprentice thing was a mistake.

Megumi seems to be in a good mood. She's still getting over the fact that I nearly passed out. Don't ask me how that happened. I honestly can't tell you how many people I've caused to die, or how many gallons of blood I've seen, but somehow, in the early hours of the morning, the sight of all the blood and goo made me lightheaded. Megumi thought it was funny. It's really not funny anymore. Yumi wouldn't have laughed.

Right now, I just want to get home. But for some inconceivable reason, Megumi stops in front of me. I brush past her and continue walking ahead of her, but then I see what she stopped for. Directly across the road from us is a shopkeeper beating some kid with his hands. Probably his son or worker. Megumi turns her head and begins to walk away. I don't see her do it, but I know. I know the sound of someone thinking it's none of their business. I've heard it often enough.

As I stand here watching the man beat the boy, my fingernails dig into my palms. Even if he's only using his hands, the boy's face is already bloody. And the kid's just standing there. Like some idiot who can't wrap his mind around the concept of moving when someone hits you. Even though we both know it's better to stand still. Trying to get away only gives them another reason to be angry.

I am angry. I can hardly feel my fingers anymore; they're so numb from pain. The only thing I can think of is how I had to take that. I had to stand there while they beat me for things I didn't even do. Or for no reason at all. I have no idea what that kid did to make the man angry, but I don't think the punishment fits the crime.

I know Megumi's behind me, trying to get me to walk away with her. But I can't. I can't just leave. I think she tries to take hold of the back of my shirt as I make my way to the scene, but she misses. I can only see straight ahead. I don't have any sword. I hate not having a sword when I need one.

I'm standing so close now I can smell the blood. For the first time in my life, I realize how much I truly hate that smell. The shopkeeper stops for a moment when he sees me, and looks more confused that angry. I've never intimidated people. No one thinks I'm a threat.

"What's your problem, kid?" he asks. He's literally salivating. I wish I were capable of some form of kempo. Anything that doesn't require a sword.

"My problem is you hitting this boy."

"Get lost." He's foolish enough to shove me. Fool indeed. I shove back. And harder than I thought I could. That, and the man is weaker than I thought he was. While the shopkeeper clumsily tries to pick himself up off the ground, I look at the boy, who's staring at me. Then I do the smart thing and run

Behind me, I hear the boy take off running down the dirt road. Good. His ex-boss would have been really mad when he got to his feet. Megumi quickens her pace as the shopkeeper yells obscenities at me. I could care less. What I didn't hear from Chou I heard from Yumi.

Only after we've left the main road and slowed back down to a walk do I realize that Megumi seems scared. Scared of me?

"Soujiro …"

Is she checking to make sure that I'm stable, and that I won't hurt her? What did I do back there anyway? Why do I care what happens to some kid I don't even know? He was weak. The shopkeeper was too, I'm sure, but the boy was weak-er.

"Soujiro, are you okay?"

No, I'm not. I'm angry and sad at the same time. I'm regretful for being so weak so long ago, but I feel betrayed that nobody helped me. They just turned away like you. Stupid tears. They come at all the worst moments. They really do.

"Soujiro," my teacher sounds surprised now. I don't blame her. I put my hands to my eyes to try and stop the flow of tears, but it doesn't work. Nothing stops them anymore.

"Tell me what's wrong." I can feel her looking at me, expecting an answer that I don't have to give. I didn't know her voice could sound so gentle. It's hard to ignore.

"I don't know." The best response I can come up with. "I just . . . I hate it when people do that. It doesn't matter if he was stronger. Or evil. Or whatever he was." I guess this isn't really making sense to her. "You just turned away. You were going to walk away and leave him there. "We were both right there, right across the street from him. Shishio-san was right there, and he could have helped me. There was no reason for him not to. No reason except that he wanted to watch and see what would happen. He would have just sat in there while they killed me - and he wouldn't have lifted a finger to stop them. I don't care if I was weak; I was only eight years old." At this point, I'm glad no one else is out on this street, because I'm crying like a child. Right now, no matter how I try to think about it, I know that was wrong. It has to be. I was only a little kid. I shouldn't have had to kill my family just so I could live.

"I killed my family, Megumi-sensei. My brothers and sisters-in-law, and everyone." I can see her deftly step back a pace. How can I blame her? "They found out that I was hiding Shishio-san, and they called me to the house. Then they tried to kill me. They stood there talking about whether it would look bad, and they expected me to wait there. But, but Shishio-san had given me his wakizashi. So I ran under the barn and took it, and hid there until one of my brothers came to get me. He thought I would just stay there because I was so weak, or because I was so scared … and the rest of them didn't even have a chance to scream like he did."

Megumi's standing as still as though she was a scarecrow mounted on a post. I don't know why I just told her that. I've never breathed what happened that night to another person. Ever.

I've hardly even spoken to myself about it.

"Shishio-san just stood there watching me. I think he was watching the whole time. Like people who put two dogs in a pen and watch to see which one ends up killing the other. But no one at all protected me, or tried to save me that night. They all either looked away or watched from the side."

"Soujiro. I'm sorry." We're both quiet for a moment or two, and then Megumi takes a few steps forward down the road. I join her. Sniffing in my tears all the way, we walk the rest of the way home together. I have no idea what she thinks about what I just said to her. It won't bother me if I never find out. Right now I just want to go home and go to sleep for a few hours.

………………………….

Naoko breathed in the scent from his cup of sake. Opposite him, Megumi sat, quietly gazing into her own cup. It was night, and the empty clinic was the quietest place on the Takani grounds.

"So, long day?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Your apprentice was still sleeping when I left the house."

"And? It's not my fault he's lazy."

"I didn't mean that. I was afraid you worked him near to death."

Megumi gave a cross between a sigh and a laugh. "He was just tired today. I suppose he's not used to this kind of work."

Naoko took a sip. "Any idea where he's from?"

"Not really." It was mostly a true answer. "Just that he has no living family. How's Haru doing in school?"

"Very well. The other day I went to pick him up, and his teacher kept me late to tell me how quickly he was progressing."

Megumi smiled. "The Takani wit, I suppose."

"Listen, I'll be pretty busy tomorrow. Could you get him from school?"

"Mm hm." Megumi took another long sip, finishing her cup.

"Well, you're certainly putting it away tonight," Naoko said. He lifted the sake bottle to judge how much was left.

"Please. You've had as much as I have."

"That just shows how much you've been drinking. I'm still on my first."

"You are not. That's the end of your second, at least. You're the one having memory problems."

"Want to bet?"

Megumi held out her empty cup. "Yes I would."

Naoko poured his cousin a full cup, and then refilled his own. They both drank their portions together, then Naoko refilled. By the time they'd each reached their fourth, the bottle was down to a few drops.

"Now tell me you could handle more," Naoko challenged.

"I could." Megumi responded in a calm, sober tone.

"You could not. You're only saying that because the bottle's empty."

Megumi stood, taking care to keep perfect balance, and smoothly walked to one of the supply cabinets. "For purely medicinal purposes," she said, reaching into the depths of it, "I always have another in store." She held out a corked bottle. "This time, I serve."