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Recovery: Chapter 12 - Renewal & Resolution

by Haku Baikou ::: 24.Apr.2003

Ken-san’s cheeks were slightly flushed, and beads of sweat gathered on his brow, but he looked pleased as he carefully lowered himself down on the mat to rest. More than pleased, really, decided Megumi. He looked downright happy.

Yesterday morning, he had made it down the stairs at the Shirobeko without any assistance for the first time in weeks. Yesterday afternoon, they’d received a surprise visitor in the form of one odd fellow, Chou, formerly of the Juppongatana, who had given Ken-san news that at least some of the Juppongatana were doing well. And today, Ken-san had been able to help alongside everyone else with the Oniwabanshu’s move out of the Shirobeko back to the Aoiya. He was still weak, limited to carrying only light, small boxes, and he often had to sit down and catch his breath, but the rurouni was obviously content nonetheless.

His mood had lifted dramatically since he had finally been well enough to do little chores and feel like he was useful again. And when everyone celebrated the re-opening of the Aoiya earlier in the evening with another one of Okina’s wild parties, Ken-san had participated as much as he could. He’d even been up for a bit of sake though he still couldn’t tolerate much. Nevertheless, he’d enjoyed it, he said, which had pleased everyone. And even Hiko-san’s normally stern expression had lifted at that.

Ken-san’s smile, as he watched his friends’ tipsy attempts at music, had finally lost all traces of sadness, had finally reached all the way to his eyes. It had warmed Megumi’s heart, seeing that smile which had been missing for so long. Even now, when the celebration had wound down, and most of their friends were passed out in the dining room, Ken-san’s good humor seemed unabated as he sat in his new room at the Aoiya waiting for his dressing change. Megumi sat behind Ken-san preparing a salve for his dressing. She couldn’t stop smiling herself, seeing him so happy. The swordsman’s eyes were closed as he listened to the sound of crickets and reveled in the feel of a cool night breeze across his skin. His smile was a bit fainter than before at the celebration, since he was pleasantly exhausted from a busy day, but still, it was unequivocally and firmly in place.

It was a welcome change from the pitiful, rain-drenched form Sanosuke had carried back from the courtyard encounter with Komagata Yoshi ten days ago. Megumi recalled that horrible night with a slight shudder. It had been utter chaos when they’d finally returned to the Shirobeko, what with their attempts at reviving a cold and unresponsive rurouni amid the frenetic comings and goings of Oniwabanshu members, Shirobeko staff, and several police.

Gradually, when the various reports had come in, the pieces of the big picture had become clear. Komagata Yoshi’s main purpose all along had been to draw out Ken-san for that fateful match. All of the other attacks by Shishio’s men had been peripheral to that central plan, mere decoys, intended to scatter police and Oniwabanshu forces so they couldn’t put up one unified front for defense.

Yoshi’s plan had been quite effective. Aoshi and Misao had arrived at the Aoiya to find only a handful of enemy soldiers. They’d realized their error immediately, that they’d left the main site of danger back at the Shirobeko. And then they had run full-tilt back towards Sae’s restaurant, leaving Kurojou and Masukami to deal with the small enemy force at the Aoiya. To their dismay, Aoshi and Misao had returned to find the Shirobeko abandoned. And only when the two spies had taken to the rooftops, methodically searching the surrounding streets below, had they noticed the torchlight from Shishio’s men in an otherwise darkened sector.

Meanwhile, Sae, who had been content to wait at the Oniwabanshu safe house with Shirojou and Oumime, had become alarmed when she’d heard the sound of gunshots in the distance. Despite strong objections by the Oniwabanshu, the small Shirobeko proprietress had insisted on returning to the site once the gunfire had stopped. She had been terrified for her new friends’ well-being, not to mention she’d wanted to see what kind of damage had been done to the restaurant that had been run by her family for generations. The two Oniwabanshu agents had finally relented after the streets had been quiet for a full hour. And despite their better judgment, Shirojou and Oumime had allowed Sae to gather some of her staff. They’d then carefully accompanied the proprietress and Shirobeko workers back to the restaurant. The group had arrived to find the place surprisingly intact, full of people, and bustling with activity. Kurojou and Masukami of the Oniwabanshu had also arrived by that time, having defeated the small enemy group at the Aoiya.

Several police officers had been dispatched by their chief at headquarters to see to the Shirobeko once the the gunmen shooting at them had been defeated. Two dozen officers had arrived at the same time Megumi and her friends finally made their slow progress from the abandoned warehouse courtyard. The two groups had met, finally exchanging news of what had been happening that night. The police had also informed them that Hiko-san and the Arais had fortunately seen no enemy activity at the Arai home.

And that was the state of affairs as Megumi and her friends tried to wake Ken-san. The four of them had ignored the frenzied activity: Policemen setting up a perimeter just in case the enemy changed their mind; officers questioning Goro about his friend Yoshi; Okina and the Oniwabanshu holding council to figure out what went wrong with their network and to come up with ways to improve their performance next time; Sae’s people setting up spare rooms upstairs for the police officers whom they’d invited to stay overnight since it was so late by the time they’d all arrived.

Instead, Megumi and her friends were concerned only about one person. One small, red-headed swordsman who was the center of their collective world at the moment.

Ken-san had looked terrible. Nearly as bad as the day Megumi first examined him almost a month ago. And as before, he had not awakened to any of their initial efforts at reviving him. The anemic rurouni had been so thoroughly chilled by the wind and rain that his small body felt cold despite several thick blankets and the heat of multiple oil lamps they’d set around him in his room. They’d finally had to immerse him in steaming hot water in the bathhouse. (And they’d then had to send out a very frightened looking Yahiko after the water had turned red from Ken-san’s wound.) Only then had Ken-san warmed up and stirred a bit, beginning to show some signs of life again.

It was almost two days before Ken-san truly awoke. Megumi had begun to worry that he had suffered a relapse of the condition he was in after fighting Shishio, but her concerns were at last assuaged when the rurouni had finally regained full awareness of his surroundings. He had been frighteningly weak, all of his progress from the previous few weeks negated in that one short fight. And he had developed a taxing fever and cough as well, which had had Megumi and Kaoru worried out of their minds as they’d helplessly watched his thin frame wracked by uncontrollable coughing spasms.

But the gods must have finally taken pity on Himura Kenshin (or agreed that he’d more than paid his dues) for the rurouni’s cough had never developed into a full-blown lethal pneumonia as it easily could have done. And his torn wound never became infected despite its exposure to the mud when Ken-san had fallen. In fact, the wound in his side seemed to have taken a turn for the better, and amazingly enough, had finally begun to close up and heal. Megumi could not understand why this was so, since she had taken the same care this time in treating the wound as she had before the fight. She was doing nothing differently, and yet the evidence was there. The wound had gradually shrunk and healed, finally closing off completely a week after the duel. When she had commented on its progress, Ken-san had merely smiled and repeated that enigmatic little quote about hatred and non-healing wounds and revenge.

Although the wound in his side had healed well, the rest of Ken-san wasn’t quite as quick to catch up. Megumi worried greatly about the amount of time it was taking for him to regain his strength. Granted, he had been seriously injured, but Ken-san’s progress was still slower than she’d expected. She began to wonder if something was terribly wrong with the rurouni, but she couldn’t find any obvious evidence of the fact. It was all based on a gut feeling, on instinct, so Megumi kept her concerns to herself, content to just keep a close eye on him for now until she could find something more substantial, or, until the rurouni’s condition improved. Hopefully, his unusually slow recovery was simply a mark of extreme blood loss and exhaustion. Hopefully it was only temporary.

At any rate, Ken-san had begun once again to push himself as hard as he dared, and was slowly improving. And that, to Megumi’s estimation, was good enough for her. She smiled secretly to herself, thinking of the day Ken-san had once again sneaked out of bed before he was technically permitted. Megumi had purposefully instructed the rurouni to stay in bed for longer than really necessary, knowing full well that he would subtract a day or two from the number she gave. And so she’d told him five days, expecting him to be out of bed in three. She was right, of course. And she’d pretended to be indignant when she’d caught him leaning against the wall, smiling sheepishly at being caught red-handed again. Ah, Ken-san.

“It’s good to see you doing so well, Ken-san,” she said, as she checked briefly on the tea she was brewing and went back to mixing the cream. It was a kidachi tougarashi based cream for his back. Ken-san’s only discomfort now was a tightness and burning sensation along the length of the large scar there.

“All because of Megumi-dono’s expert care.”

“Iya.” She blushed. She helped Ken-san out of his gi and moved his hair off to the side so that it was out of the way.

“So, now that you’re well again, perhaps you can do some sight seeing, Ken-san,” she said brightly. “I’m sure Kyoto has changed a great deal since the last time you were here.”

“Hai,” he said softly. “There is one place…one person sessha intends to visit tomorrow morning. Alone.”

There was an odd catch to his voice, and Megumi saw that Ken-san’s smile had a tinge of sadness again. She was about to become concerned, but she saw that something was different this time. The sadness was there, yes, but it was laced with a sense of peace, warmth, a remembrance of something long ago, something that had been good. There was no sign of hopeless resignation, of another burden to bear. Megumi was reassured then, that Ken-san wasn’t slipping into another bout of brooding.

“An old friend?” she asked cautiously as she handed him a cup of the tea. Something in her heart hurt as she wondered if it might be the woman whom he had called for while delirious, whom she was sure he cared so much about. She decided to risk the question. “Tomoe perhaps?”

A minute tensing of his back as he turned around with a slight widening of his eyes. And although his expression remained amiable, Megumi sensed the mask coming down, and she sighed inwardly, knowing she’d find only a wall of willfully enigmatic answers from now on.

“Hai,” he said finally. “It’s been ten years. Sessha owes her that much.”

“But she left you.” Megumi regretted saying the words as soon as they left her mouth. “I don’t see why you’d owe her anything, Ken-san,” she said in a softer tone, trying to take the edge off the accusation.

“She left…because of something unforgivable sessha did.”

A thought suddenly came to mind as Megumi studied the his face. “And is that why you’ve been wandering these ten years? Because of her?”

“Partly.”

“You must have loved her a great deal.”

Ken-san had turned his head away again, and Megumi could no longer see the expression on his face.

“Hai. Sessha loves her still.”

Megumi swallowed. It explained a number of things. Why Ken-san never seemed to notice other women. Why, from the beginning, Ken-san had been shy of Megumi’s advances. Why Ken-san distanced himself even from Kaoru’s modest displays of affection when it was so obvious to everyone that the girl’s feelings for the rurouni were obviously reciprocated. Megumi had suspected as much as soon as Ken-san had uttered the woman’s name so many weeks ago. But she had been afraid to ask at the time. The words, when spoken, gave a finality to the painful truth that until now, had seemed distant, and not entirely real.

“Ken-san.” Megumi was suddenly furious at this woman for leaving Ken-san, for causing him such pain. “Ken-san, maybe this isn’t such a good idea. What if she-I know it’s not my place to say this-but maybe she won’t want to see you. And surely she’s married by now, and-“

“She married long ago,” said Kenshin, still with an odd tone in his voice. “Sessha…knows her husband well.”

“Oh.” It was one of those infrequent occasions in which Megumi, the smooth and sophisticated Fox Lady, was at a loss for words.

“Megumi-dono, someday sessha would like to explain, but-“

“Iya, Ken-san. Forgive me. I was rude to pry.” She blinked, regaining her manners and her sanity. She focused her attentions back on the business at hand. The medicinal cream was finished, and she began applying a thin layer along the scar.

“So you’re going alone tomorrow.” She couldn’t hide the concern from her voice. “Are you sure you’ll be safe? You still haven’t fully recovered.”

She could hear the smile in his voice.

“Megumi-dono need not worry. Just a pleasant walk on a summer’s day. Sessha will be fine, de gozaru.”

She would have liked to send someone with him or have the police bring a carriage though she knew Ken-san would have hated such a thing. Walking down the stairs successfully was one thing, but strolling about all over Kyoto for gods-knew-how-long, that was something else. And there was always this Tomoe woman’s husband. Megumi wasn’t convinced that Ken-san’s reception would be entirely friendly.

But that contentment in his voice…. She couldn’t do anything to risk breaking such a hard-won, vulnerable happiness. Ken-san had been miserable for so long. Megumi didn’t have the heart to rein him in with safety precautions, to deny him anything this night.

“I hope all goes well, then,” she said, sounding much more cheery than she felt.

“Well,” she said as she finished with the cream and took a long bandage off the tray. She struggled to keep her voice light. “It looks like the wound on your back is all right now, but I’ll be on the safe side and change the bandage.”

“Thank you so much.” He seemed glad at the change in subject.

“Oh no, it’s all right. But if you get another bad wound like this one…” Megumi couldn’t help the small concerned noise that escaped her throat. “I won’t help you.”

“Sessha will be careful then, de gozaru-yo.”

You’d better be, Ken-san, she thought to herself. She was in the strangest mood now, and she didn’t know why. The awful scar on his back was always a sight that made her depressed. Or maybe it was the mention of Tomoe’s name. Megumi was shocked to find tears suddenly welling in her eyes. She felt weak of a sudden, about to lose control of herself for no apparent reason. The Fox Lady portion of her mind rolled her eyes at this maudlin display, but Megumi couldn’t seem to help it. She leaned her forehead against Ken-san’s back, fighting to get her breathing under control.

“Megumi-dono….” Surprise and concern in his voice. He said nothing more, however. Didn’t move or look back. Just sat quietly while she had her head against his back, giving her time to compose herself.

“Gomen, Ken-san,” she said after a moment. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“Megumi-dono’s presence has been invaluable in the last few weeks,” he said softly. “This rurouni is truly unworthy of such kindness and selfless care.”

“Iya! You think too little of yourself, Ken-san,” she said with an embarrassed little laugh.

“As does, Megumi-dono.”

Ken-san reached up and wiped away a lingering tear from her cheek. It was a simple act, but coming from the reserved rurouni, it was a display of familiarity that was astonishing. His eyes were filled with concern, and at that moment, Megumi felt as if her heart would burst.

“We’re very much alike, then, aren’t we, Ken-san.”

And there was nothing more that needed to be said between the two of them. They were alike, they were friends, and they were practically family. Ken-san knew Megumi’s feelings for him went beyond even those strong bonds. And by the look in his eyes now, and by past actions, Megumi knew that the rurouni truly wished he could return that love in kind. She also knew, that to spare them the necessity of stating out loud what would obviously be painful for both, Ken-san would never openly acknowledge his awareness, or his inability to return those feelings. If he feigned ignorance, he would never have to utter words that would break her heart.

It was a delicate understanding reached by unspoken agreement long ago. She couldn’t have his love, but she had the next best things: his admiration, his respect, his friendship… all precious things in their own right. It was the most he could offer her. And despite the bittersweet pain of it, it was an arrangement that she found she could live with. Fox Lady would continue to tease and flirt mercilessly. And Rurouni would continue to “oro” with naive incomprehension. And that was the way things would be.

“Oro,” he whispered, gentle amusement in his knowing eyes. As if he’d read her mind.

She laughed then, the odd little moment gone. Back into more comfortable territory….

“I officially proclaim you well again, Ken-san,” she said pleasantly as she quickly cleaned up the bandages and putting them neatly on the tray she’d brought. “And now that you have no more need of a physician, I think I will take a much needed break. I, for one, am tired!”

He hesitated slightly. “Sano is up on the roof, Megumi-dono. He would enjoy your company, de gozaru.”

She arched an eyebrow in surprise and turned to regard an innocent looking red-head.

Innocent hell. Ken-san really was good with the rurouni act, she thought to herself. There were times even she would forget the true nature of the mind that lay behind those disarming lavender eyes.

Vaguely Foxish thoughts skittered across her mind. “Is he now….”

Megumi turned to go.

“Megumi-dono,” said the rurouni softly. He searched for words, for once bereft of his usual eloquence. “There is no way sessha could ever adequately repay you for your help….”

She managed to keep her voice steady as her vision blurred once again. “You’re welcome, Ken-san.” She smiled. “Oyasumi nasai.”

Kenshin smiled back. “Oyasumi nasai… Megumi-dono.”

She left then, sliding the door closed, leaving the rurouni sitting thoughtfully on the mat, contemplative as he quietly drank his tea.

Takani Megumi stood outside the room, hesitating, not quite wanting to go. She shook her head. Ken-san didn’t need her anymore. She had done what she came to Kyoto to do, had done everything she was capable of to ensure his physical well-being.

Megumi took a deep breath, and in that moment, made a fateful decision. She would take action tomorrow. She would take action so that Ken-san would be whole in both spirit and body. Takani Megumi had done all she could do. As for the rest, there was only one person who could truly help Ken-san. One blue-eyed, indigo-ribboned person. And Megumi’s eyes narrowed slightly as she made plans to speak with that person tomorrow morning.

Her expression must have been odd, for Hiko Seijurou’s eyebrow arched in mild curiosity as he passed her in the hall.

She blinked. “Oh, Hiko-san. Are you going to visit Ken-san?”

He nodded. “Is something wrong?”

“No, I was just concerned about him.”

Hiko waited.

“He’s going to visit this Tomoe woman tomorrow, and he’s going alone,” she blurted. Her eyes widened. She really was in a strange mood tonight.

A thoughtful look passed Hiko’s face, but he remained otherwise unperturbed. He smirked. “Don’t worry about my baka deshi. He’ll be all right,” he said. “And I’ll keep an eye on him,” he added more seriously.

She thanked him, much reassured. She felt better knowing that the swordsman would be watching. And with a lighter heart, Megumi decided to seek more cheerful company. She tended to be far too moody when around Ken-san for too long. There were other friends whose presences were far more relaxing.

Megumi headed out to the roof.

As Ken-san had said, Sano was there, sitting by himself, looking quietly up at the stars. It surprised Megumi to find him this way. She didn’t think he was the type to stargaze. It seemed too deep and serene an activity for the normally energetic Rooster Head.

He turned at the sound of her approach.

“Kitsune,” he said in greeting as she carefully made her way to his side. “What are you doing up here at this hour?”

“Just getting some fresh air.” She sat comfortably and brushed the dust off her hands. “Do you do this often?”

“What, look at the stars? Heh. No. Only when I’m slightly drunk.”

No wonder. She smirked.

“Look, Kitsune, I never got a chance to say this, but…” he shrugged. “You’re not a burden.”

“What?” she asked confused.

“That night when Kenshin fought Komagata,” he tried to explain. “Kenshin wanted to send you off with Sae and I said you’d be nothing but a burden. I was wrong. I didn’t mean that.”

Oh, that. Megumi had all but forgotten. She looked at Sano. He really was tipsy to be saying such things. She resisted the urge to smile. He’d only take it the wrong way.

“No offense taken,” she assured him.

She thought back to that night, to the reaction she’d had to the possibility of being separated from her friends. Six months ago, she would have never thought to have felt such feelings for a group of people other than her family. And now, she thought with a warmth in her heart….

How her life had changed. It had been such a gradual change, she hadn’t even noticed until now. Fear no longer claimed her. Nor desperation nor despair. She had friends. She had love. And she had hope.

Hope for her own future and the future of those she cared about. Her new family. She swallowed, and rested her chin on her knees, closing her eyes.

“Megumi?” Sanosuke put a hand lightly on her arm. “You all right?”

She nodded.

Her family, the thought came again. She liked the sound of that. And they’d all be heading back to Tokyo soon. Back home. Together.

“I’m all right,” she said smiling. “Everything is wonderful.”

He said nothing. Merely sat there, regarding her with his usual intensity, seemingly unsure as to whether she was being sarcastic or not.

She laughed softly. “Baka.” Spoken with reassurance. And tender fondness.

The ex-street fighter’s mouth quirked in a roguish little smile at the word. He leaned back against the roof tiles, arms behind his head, comfortable and brimming with contentment as he gazed up at the constellations. Megumi smiled at him and did likewise, relaxing next to the street fighter on the gentle slope of the roof, playing idly with a strand of her hair.

The stars in the skies of Kyoto looked the same as the ones over Tokyo, the same as the ones over Aizu.

Aizu…. With a little blink of surprise she realized it had been weeks since she’d thought of her home town. She really had changed then, if she could go for such a length of time without thinking of her personal tragedies.

Aizu…. She’d come all this way, and yet the stars were still the same. She found it oddly reassuring.

Her thoughts drifted. She remembered happier moments in her past, and she pondered the good things yet to come in her future.

And for the first time in many years… Takani Megumi allowed herself to dream.

Owari.

Thank you for reading my story.