Kendo no Go
In the Language of Kendo:
A Fanfic in 100 Chapters
by Akai Kitsune
10: Dojo
~*~
The Kamiya dojo was built long before the
war, but it wasn't until much later that it reopened for public
use. In the past, Koshijirou had used it simply for practice,
after his own father died and the dojo had been closed. The old
building carried a great deal of memories for the family, and
Kaoru loved it with every fiber of her being.
There had been many changes in the household after Kenshin had
come to live there, bringing with him a string of unexpected
friends and enemies - or some enemies who later became
friends - but it had mostly to do with how clean it suddenly
became. Kenshin was very effective at taking care of her home; so
effective, in fact, that she began to wonder at how she had
managed without him. He did a great deal of general washing while
she taught at other schools to keep the income flowing.
And repair work, of course. After Kenshin's arrival, the dojo
had needed a great deal of repairs. Although he was usually
incapable of making those repairs, himself. She tried hard not to
think of that fact very often.
After the chaotic events that were followed by such repairs,
Kaoru was often forced to return to the kitchen and make their
meals, while her boarder recovered from his usual injuries. She
did so in the hopes of giving him a chance to rest and relax...
but naturally, her efforts were rewarded by Yahiko and Sanosuke's
disgust, which prompted her to retaliate - loudly, as was
expected of her - so he never really got any sleep. But he
appreciated her attempts, at least. He would smile, and thank her
quietly, then go back to the laundry, or whatever chore he had
abandoned when his life had been in danger in the first place.
And life would go on, until the next time.
There was always a next time, it seemed. Since he decided to
remain in one place for such a long time, his identity released
to the public through loose tongues and rumours, his past finally
had a chance to track him down and make an attempt on whatever
plot they had been hatching for the years when he had been
traveling too quickly for anyone to discover him. She always
carried a small amount of guilt for that; for holding him in one
area, for keeping him with her - selfishly - so that others were
able to reach him. Every wound he gained in a fight he could have
avoided made her heart ache.
But still, he smiled. He smiled, and thanked her - for
hurting him, again and again? - and life went on, and on, and
on.
The dojo had been rebuilt several times, and
each time she saw it destroyed, she felt a pang of remorse. Her
family dojo, her father's dojo, and it was torn apart each time a
battle tore through their home. It wasn't as often as she
fantasized - only a few times had the dojo really been sent to
the ground in pieces - but she always made a quick prayer to her
father for forgiveness afterwards. She apologized for accepting
her new family into her life; for bringing destruction to their
home yet again by allowing them to stay for so long; for having
the compassion - would that be a weakness, in his calm, stern
eyes? - to share her life with theirs. Although, she never felt
truly sorry for accepting them, and never allowed her anger to
banish them from her doorstep; she loved them, needed them too
much to let them go. They were her family, and she wanted them to
stay with her, always.
It was not long after the dojo had been
destroyed and rebuilt for its final time - Enishi's jinchuu, and
her supposed death that made everyone consider how much else was
more important than the training ground - that she was finally
forced to let them go. Megumi, her verbal sparring partner and
good friend, despite their differences, left her temporary home
of Tokyo to live in Aizu in search of her family, casually waving
farewell to her friends and the man she must have loved, in some
way, whether it was her Kenshin, or even Sanosuke, though it
would have killed either one of them to admit it.
That same day, Sanosuke disappeared into the wider world,
chased away by a government official and an assault charge which
Kenshin had easily dismissed once he discovered the reasons
behind it. She often wondered why Sanosuke had never told them,
for surely Kenshin could have used his contacts and past allies
to resolve it... but that would have been a wound in the
ex-gangster's pride, surely. He knew how much Kenshin's past was
painful, even if is was useful at times. Still, Kaoru had seen
the brief flicker of hurt in her husband's eyes when he learned
the truth. If Sano was so fierce about making Kenshin come to
rely on him, why shouldn't that relationship be mutual? What did
the man hold higher, his own pride, or the trust the two of them
had carried, from Kyoto and beyond?
But Kenshin had smiled, despite that knowledge, and had calmly
dealt with the situation. "Sanosuke will come back on his
own when he is ready," he told her quietly, and hadn't
spoken of it again. There would always be pain, sometimes
hesitation, but he refused to allow it to hurt their friendship.
He was not that sort of man.
After her marriage to Kenshin, Kaoru suddenly found the house
to be very empty, late in the day. Yahiko moved out and began
residing in Sanosuke's old home, driven away from their newly
married antics and the temporary unwillingness to accept their
abrupt, "disgusting" affection for one another. She
sometimes grimaced at his tactless comments, but was restrained
by Kenshin's observations. "He's not used to this," he
whispered, one day when Yahiko had disappeared mere moments after
he had caught them kissing in the hallway. "Give him time,
and he'll return. He's genuinely happy for us, I think... he just
doesn't want to intrude."
Since when had her friends become an intrusion upon her life?
She missed the days where she had woken up to a cold bucket of
water over her head, Yahiko's grinning demands loud in her ear.
She missed waking to Kenshin's breakfast - now a daily occurrence
- only to discover that half of her portion was stuffed in
Sanosuke's mouth. She even missed Megumi's mocking laughter, as
she playfully tugged at Kenshin's arm to serve her
breakfast, rather than the tanuki-girl's.
She missed the arguments, the tears, the friendship and the
pure togetherness of their past life.
Her home was empty, it seemed sometimes. For even when Yahiko
came over every afternoon for lessons, even when Tae and Tsubame
came to visit and coo over the toddler with her eyes and
Kenshin's hair, even when a letter arrived from Aizu or
god-knows-wherever-Sanosuke-is-now, her husband was silent,
peaceful, and smiling. He would smile, and watch over their own
smiles, despite the fact that no one ever really came to see him,
unless it was a mission that would take him away from that joy,
that scene of pure bliss he had always envisioned. He smiled,
despite the knowledge that he wasn't getting any younger, even
while his son grew older, and would someday be old enough to
leave their home and he, too, would visit only to see Kaoru and
not the father he despised.
He smiled, despite the deep sense of loneliness echoing
throughout the dojo that used to be so full, so happy, even when
it lay in pieces on the ground.
~*~
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