Kendo no Go
In the Language of Kendo:
A Fanfic in 100 Chapters
by Akai Kitsune
17: Firefly
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Kaoru had always had a deep fascination with fireflies.
Something about them, their graceful, near-silent flight, the soft glow in the
darkness, the way they made her feel as if she was completely surrounded by
beautiful fairies who had come to grant her every wish and desire.
Despite the fact that she had several unhappy, heart-breaking memories of the
fireflies, and the changes brought by their light, magical presence.
She had been encircled by fireflies on the night Kenshin held her in his arms
for the first time. She had invited him to watch them with her earlier that day,
a cheerful smile on her face, even as she knew, deep in her heart of hearts,
that something was calling him away from her, and she was losing, losing badly.
She had seen the glowing light in his eyes, resigned and rueful, as he told her
he was leaving her and returning to his old life. She had felt a soft tickle
against her skin as they brushed against her, until Kenshin's arms pulled her
close to his body, his breath warm against her hair, her tears cold and aching
on her cheeks. She had ignored their frantic scattering as she fell to the
ground, hands clenched into fists over her face, as he released her and
disappeared into the shadows, and she was left alone with her tears, her grief,
and the light of the fireflies to lead her home.
She had been walking among them, with friends and family alike, her mind
echoing pure bliss and comfort, when an explosion had rocked the streets of
Tokyo not far from where they stood, and started a chain reaction of vengence
that could not be stopped, could not be prevented or turned aside. She had lost
all track of the insects and the joy when Kenshin's voice, concerned and
knowing, announced that he had recognized the sound. She had forgotten that
fireflies were slowly becoming a sign of grief, anger, regret. Death.
"Okaasan, what's that?"
"It's a firefly, Kenji-kun." Kaoru was enchanted as the
glowing insect drew closer to the engawa, where she held her sleepy son in her
arms, finally coming to land on the post nearby, the light fading slightly.
Kenji reached towards it, and it fluttered away, its shine quickly returning.
The child laughed, clapping his hands together, and waved as the firefly
disappeared from sight.
She sent a brief, secret glance to Kenshin, who stood behind them in the
light of the open shoji, and he returned the smile. Time, and their blessed -
and long overdue - marriage had eclipsed the pain she used to feel in her dark
memories of the light of the fireflies, and the joy she took in her son's
delight far outshone old wounds.
"Tousan, did you see the firefly? Ne, ne?"
"Aa, Kenji, that I did," Kenshin replied, the smile
broadening, and he moved to sit beside his wife and son, gazing out at the stars
in search for more of the flickering lights.
"Did you know," he spoke again after a long moment, "That
fireflies are believed to be the souls of people who have passed away?"
"Passed away?" Kenji repeated, puzzled by his subtle
wording.
Kenshin's brow furrowed, trying to think of how to explain the concept of
death to his young son. Finally he sighed, giving the boy a weak smile, "People
who aren't living in the world anymore."
"You mean people turn into fireflies?"
His father held back a laugh, ruffling Kenji's hair gently. "Something like
that. But everyone loves to watch the fireflies. Even the emperor of Japan.
Families all over the world come together - just like us - and watch them dance
with the stars, to pay respects to the people they knew."
"Like who?" Kenji wondered. "Who are you watching,
kaasan?"
Kaoru curled her hand around her son's small fingers, her joy fading slightly
in memory. "I'm watching your grandpa and grandma, my parents. And... and your
auntie. A woman named Tomoe."
Kenshin's hand touched hers, patting it gently to tell her that he
understand, and that he was grateful.
"What about you, tousan?" their young son persisted,
wishing the attention to be returned to his questions.
Kenshin smiled wistfully. "Oh, I can't focus on anyone. I like to watch them
all... there are so many."
"Yeah," Kenji echoed, not noticing the sharp glance his
mother suddenly shot her husband, nor his gentle whisper in her ear, in
reassurance and comfort. "Hi everyone," he began to wave again, rocking back and
forth in Kaoru's lap, "Hi 'jiisan and 'baasan! Come back and visit, ne? Was that
okay, kaasan?"
"That was fine, Ken-chan," Kaoru smiled brightly, nuzzling
his cheek and tickling him until he shrieked and sought protection from his
father, making a face and burying his body against Kenshin's side, wary of her
once-safe fingers. "That was just fine."
y
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