Kendo no Go
In the Language of Kendo:
A Fanfic in 100 Chapters
by Akai Kitsune
57: Son
~*~
boy n. shonen. 1. a
male child to the age of physical maturity; youth; lad. 2. a man regarded
as common, lowly, immature, or callow. 3. a young man, fellow; a familiar
form of address. 4. a male servant; an underling; a patronizing term.
5. a messenger; a helper. 6. a son.
Kaoru had always wanted a girl, which made the existence of
her son a little harder to deal with, at first. She hadn't expected a boy, and
was entirely unprepared to raise him. Thankfully, she had quite some time - and
a lot of people to give her aid - before she had to consider doing anything more
than feeding and dressing the child.
Kenshin was thrilled to have a child at all, a
reaction which she had expected. They had cared for Yahiko for years
already, and his ability to guide and mold the boy into a young man on the path
to honourable adulthood had shone through on many occasions. She was a little
envious, how he seemed so prepared, so ready to be a father, while she
frequently doubted her parenting skills, even as she held her son in her arms.
When she asked him how he could be so calm and
relaxed over the prospect of raising a child, he laughed. It had surprised her -
it seemed like a perfectly good question, and she truly did want to know - but
it was so rare that he laughed, her question instead transformed into why,
exactly, he was laughing.
He smiled back at her, his eyes still shining
with lingering amusement, and took the slumbering Kenji from her arms, cuddling
him close.
"This child," he murmured,
gazing at the baby with a peculiar expression on his face, "Terrifies me more
than any swordsman, any foe that stood before me in the past."
He never ceased to surprise her, it seemed.
Kenshin never expanded upon
his strange, enigmatic statement, but his actions spoke far louder. His eyes
were soft, his hands gentle, his voice quiet, whenever Kenji was near. The
rurouni had always been polite, but the presence of a child - his child -
tempered his demeanor beyond all her expectations. It was as if he was afraid of
waking the boy, of ruining a dream, of shattering the image of a perfect family
with the chaos of real life.
"He sleeps too much," Kaoru
complained one day, watching the baby as he blissfully slumbered in his bed. He
was only a few days old.
Kenshin smiled and shook his head. "Iie. It's
normal, isn't it?"
"Well, that's what
Gensai-sensei says, but..."
"He's so peaceful when he's
sleeping," Kenshin continued, reassuring her with his relaxed tone. "It's
soothing to watch him. Just let him sleep..."
She bit her lip, unsure, but knowing he was
right, the doctor was right, and she was worrying for nothing.
"Soon," he whispered,
brushing his finger across the newborn's cheek, "He'll wake up, and we'll be
wishing we could go back to this."
He was right, of course.
Kenji awoke like a storm, growing and never ceasing to do so. He tore through
the house, the town, their lives, bringing laughter and tears wherever he went.
And he went wherever he dared to go.
In his heart, Kaoru could sense that he was a
wanderer too, in part. He sought his answers, he watched for his dreams, he
chased the shadows of the lives around him, past or present. He had a brilliant
drive for knowledge that, truthfully, she hadn't expected from her son -
as one who enjoyed knowing peace and only that, who looked for the truth
when it was needed, and accepted the excuses of others when it was for her own
protection.
But he was Kenshin's son, and Kenshin had
always known too much, seen too much, kept too much to himself. Kenshin was his
own master, however innocent and oblivious he depicted himself to be. Kenji
wished for nothing more than the strength and right to lead his own life, to
find his own path.
And, though she took great pride in the
determined vision of his own future, Kaoru wished, just as Kenshin told her,
that they could return to how it had once been, when life was peaceful, when
Kenji was home, sleeping, with his father's finger brushing against his skin as
he slept on, knowing the feel of parental love and nothing more.
~*~
|