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The Hitokiri Stainmaster: Chapter 2 - The Trap

by Angrybee ::: 22.Aug.2003

"Why do -I- have to dress as a peasant woman?" Kaoru whined.

"Because, you're the only one smart enough to pull this off, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin whisperered sweetly, causing the dojo's mistress to blush.

"Don't you mean she's the ugliest girl we know?" Yahiko asked, snickering

Kaoru threatened Yahiko by holding out a peasant's apron. "Do you want to wear the dress, Yahiko? No. I didn't think so."

"At least the boy has an excuse for being weak," Saitou drawled, "Maybe you should wear the apron, Sagara. You're at least as womanly as the Stainmaster, plus, no one knows who the hell you are."

"Why I oughta..."

"Maa, maa. This is no time for petty fights, it isn't," Kenshin declared. Kaoru nodded and slipped on the apron. "Does everyone remember the plan? We'll be using Tae's friend's house as a cover. Kaoru, you'll put out the laundry to dry, and then we'll wait for the bandit, we will."

"Alright Kenshin," Kaoru replied, smiling sweetly. As she began to hang up the large basket of laundry, everyone else hid in the courtyard. For quite a while, nothing happened. But then, suddenly, a thin man in a red coat with bright blonde hair like a broom jumped the gate and ran towards the clothesline at top speed.

Everyone jumped out from their hiding places, producing their various cleaning implements.

"State your business!" Saitou demanded.

Surprised, the young man turned to face his opponents. "Ah. You must be the great Stainmaster of the Woolite Era. I'd recognize the pink gi of atonement anywhere!"

"Its not PINK!" Kenshin whined, "Its Fu..."

"Fucking ugly, yeah, I know." The bandit stood in front of the clothesline protectively. "I'm Chou. And I claim this laundry in the name of Shishio Makoto."

Kenshin's grip tightened on his scrubbing-brush as both he and Saitou murmured the name. "Shishio..."

"Who is Shishio, Kenshin?" Yahiko asked, brandishing his feather duster menacingly.

"After Kenshin left, Shishio became the head Stainmaster for the Ishin Sudsi," Saitou explained. "He cleaned everything, using the most toxic chemicals at his disposal. But, I thought, that after the Woolite Era, he was drowned by his own men in a vat of blue dye."

"You're wrong!" Chou exclaimed, "He survived, though now his skin is marred and dyed a horrible blue. Like the blue fires of HELL!"

Sano scratched his head, "Fire isn't generally blue, you idiot."

"Like the terrible blue of the sky!" Chou tried again.

"The sky isn't really all that scary," Yahiko proclaimed. "Its actually nice and has all those fluffy clouds and stuff."

"Are you saying Shishio looks like a smurf?" Saitou asked.

"No! Like the blue of a fierce and stormy ocean! A tsunami!" Chou pleaded.

"I guess that works," Kaoru said, as everyone shrugged.

"Anyway, I, Chou, claim this laundry in the name of Shishio, and his master plan! You should join us, Stainmaster. We have a really good plan!"

Kenshin furrowed his brow and looked to his friends and then back to Chou, "Well, what is it, then, if sessha may ask?"

Chou shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Uhhhh. Well, I am not exactly sure, but I think it involves some evil laughter towards the end."

"Look," Saitou growled, growing impatient, "You can't have this laundry. A whelp like you wouldn't even know his detergent from his scotchguard."

"That's where you are wrong, cop," Chou said, his one good eye growing wide. "I am known throughout the land as Sawagejou Chou of the thousand Sponges!" Upon this declaration, Chou opened his long haori to reveal a good dozen different sponges. "And I will clean this laundry."

"Sessha can't let you do that," Kenshin declared, brandishing his scrubbing-brush. "It isn't yours to clean."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Kenshin and Chou faced each other, both sopping wet from their battle over the laundry. A dozen or so limp sponges lay on the ground, leaking soapy water into the courtyard.

Chou pulled himself up to his full height once more. "You have not defeated me yet, Stainmaster. I have one more sponge left. The most effective."

"Sessha thinks you should give up now, Chou, before someone gets hurt, you should." "Fuck that!" And with this exclaimation, Chou pulled out his last, and most favorite sponge.

"MY GOD!" Kaoru exclaimed, "That is STEEL WOOL! If he uses that, the laundry will most definitely be ruined! Kenshin...oh...Kenshin..."

Sano grabbed the sobbing woman by her shoulders as Kenshin peered at his opponent. For a tense moment, the courtyard was silent. Then, with a resounding yell, Kenshin grabbed one of the towels hanging on the clothesline and jumped into the air,"

"AJAX SUPERSCRUBBER RYU....STATIC CLING!"

A deafening *pop* resounded through the yard as Kenshin landed in front of Chou. Chou peered murderously at Kenshin for a moment, before he let out a loud scream and dropped into the dirt. The smell of burning hair wafted through the courtyard.

"Cripes, Kenshin," Yahiko said in awe, "What did you do?"

"He used the static electricity from that towel to deliver a shock. The steel wool served as a conductor," Saitou explained.

Chou tried to sit up, smoke coming out of his now-burning hair. "My hair! My beautiful hair! My hands! Ahhh the terrible burning...like fire!"

Sano rolled his eyes, "And is the fire -blue-?"

"Talk, Chou," the former captain of the Scrubbygumi ordered, "Talk now! Why is Shishio doing all this bleaching?"

A young man no one had noticed before stepped out of the shadows and smiled brilliantly, effortlessly. "I can answer that. Because weak colors fade, and strong colors survive!" The young man bowed deeply and continued, "Let me introduce myself. I am Seta Soujiro, known as the Ten-Clean. And I am here to escort you to Shishio."