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My Life: Chapter 5 - Studytime and Discussions

by Fitz

I was tired through most of fall semester my sophomore year. Strange as that sounded, that was the only way I could describe it. Tired and somewhat nauseated. My daily runs turned to twice-weekly jogs then eventually stopped altogether. Sano yelled at me because I did not eat much when we went to dinner together. He really would have been mad if he had known I was not eating lunch or breakfast either. I ate enough to keep from losing too much weight.

That might have been part of the reason why I initially found Kaoru so irritating. What person wants to see someone so exuberant when all he wants is to close his eyes and nap? She grated on my nerves. Even after we forged a shaky friendship, I found her annoying. Strangely, Kaoru seemed to sense this, and she toned down a bit after those first couple weeks.

A few weeks after I had fallen ill, I found myself offering to hold a study session in my room. The creative writing professor had a fetish for history, and he wanted us to write a short story based in a certain time period. Each group had a different period, and within the group, each person had a different place. Our group had the 1940’s. I was stuck with Russia, of all the possible countries. I could have had Germany, but Kaoru got that. Japan? Misao got lucky there. Omasu got England. The United States was not a choice.

“It was really good of you to let us come here, Kenshin,” Omasu said politely as she and Misao filed into my room. I just shrugged in response to that. What was I supposed to say? To be perfectly honest, it was the most logical place to do this. The three of them all had roommates who would just be bothered by our presence. As I had coughed up the extra money for a single room, that problem was nonexistent.

“There’s pop in the fridge,” I offered, gesturing to my tiny fridge in the corner. Personally, I needed some caffeine. We did not get to start this session until after nine, since Omasu had a job at a local restaurant and worked until eight-thirty. I had been up since four-thirty, and I was tired. Again, I cursed my insomnia. Then, I picked up a Mountain Dew and took a deep swallow.

“Can I sit on the futon?” Misao asked brightly, then plopped herself down without waiting for an answer. She grimaced and doubled forward, pushing at the cushion curiously. “This has got to be the cheapest futon I’ve ever seen! Where’d you get it? Target?”

“K-Mart,” I replied stiffly. She whistled as if that was the most mind-shattering thing she had heard in a long time. It probably was. There was not a lot of excitement to be had when your life revolved around four classes a semester.

“Whatever works, I guess,” she giggled. “Oh, Kenshin! This is too funny!”

Oh dear. She had located the gorilla. I knew I was blushing, but there was not much to be done about that. Instead, I just snatched up the huge stuffed animal and dropped it on my bed.

“Let’s get started,” I suggested.

“Without me?” Kaoru asked from the doorway. I smiled politely.

“Obviously not, since you were here when I suggested it,” I gestured into the room. “And close the door. Unless you want all the guys in this wing sticking their heads in and ogling you.”

“Doesn’t Aoshi have a room in this wing?” Misao asked, and Kaoru swatted the girl playfully before sitting beside her. Misao barely noticed, and I swear, she had hearts in her eyes as she clasped her hands together dramatically. “Aoshi would never be so crude!”

Did I mention that Misao was a theatre major?

“So!” Kaoru said, overly loud. “The nineteen-forties! World War II, right?”

Not exactly subtle, but she got the point across. I grabbed my notebook and folder, digging out the files I had printed off the internet, and sat on the floor next to Omasu.

It went like most study sessions did. We studied about half the time and spent the other half goofing off and talking. I let Kaoru get on my computer to look up a few things online. That soon deteriorated, and she was surfing the net for useless things. She found a painting she had always wanted on e-bay. I talked her out of buying it. The thing was bidding at over two thousand dollars, for god’s sake! How many college students could afford that?

Exhausted from arguing with Kaoru, I fell onto my bed. I picked up a book I had found in the library and started flipping through the pages for the chapter I knew was there.

About twenty minutes later, I became aware of soft giggling around me. I tried to ignore it at first. If those girls were checking out sites that made them crack up like that, then I probably did not want to see it.

“Awww!” Giggle, giggle. “Would you look at that!” More giggling. “That’s so cute!”

It was getting annoying. Were they looking at pictures of baby animals? I’ve seen girls do that. I didn’t get it, but if that was it, rather than something else--something... girl-oriented--then maybe it was not such a bad idea to see what was happening.

“Shhhhh!” Hushed giggling. “Quiet! You’ll wake him up!”

No way. I blinked, slowly focusing on the white page in front of my face. Remarkably close to my face, actually. My cheek was pressed to the page of the book.

Damn it all! I fell asleep when there were people in my room! And the girls had not been talking about some web site. How could I not have noticed something like that?

A light flashed.

I’ll kill them!

“Hey!” I was awake in an instant, pushing to my hands and knees quickly, despite the book’s page trying to stick to my face. “What was that?!”

Kaoru was holding a camera, that little twerp. It did not take a genius to figure out where that flashing light had come from. Despite my outward display of irritation, I was a bit bewildered. I wondered where Kaoru had come across that camera, and my brain refused to acknowledge the fact that I had actually fallen asleep.

“It’s a photo-op, Kenshin!” Kaoru giggled. “Smile for the camera!”

In a fit of immaturity, I stuck my tongue out at her. To my horror, the camera flashed again.

“Kaoru!”

“Strike a pose, Kenshin!” Misao squealed.

Kaoru giggled crazily as I leapt off the bed and lunged at her. She shied just out of my reach, and I had to hop onto the futon to avoid toppling over it. Twisting, I jumped after the girl. It was not difficult to catch her. In a room that was barely large enough to fit the four of us, there were not a lot of places for Kaoru to go.

“Hah!” I caught her from behind, wrapping one of my arms around her waist while my other hand reached for that camera. Of course, what I would do once I had the camera, I had yet to decide. Not that it mattered. While I was busy with Kaoru, Misao took the opportunity to snatch the camera from Kaoru’s hand. I growled in frustration.

“You can’t win against three girls, Kenshin!” Misao laughed, then blinked as she looked around blankly. “Uh... two girls. Where’s Omasu?”

“I think--” Kaoru gasped out between giggling. “I think she went to the bathroom!”

“I think I can handle two to one,” I said with a smirk, releasing Kaoru and moving after Misao.

I got two steps before Kaoru grabbed my wrist. Twisting to pull away, I received my greatest surprise when she twisted right back and sent me sprawling to the floor. Two seconds later, I was flat on my back, staring up incredulously at the girls hovered over me. Both were grinning from ear to ear, and they took advantage of my surprise to pin me down. Kaoru sat on my stomach and leaning much of her weight on my shoulders. Misao had my arms trapped over my head.

“If only we could get a picture of this,” Misao laughed.

“Well, you can’t,” I squirmed a bit, struggling against the combined strength of the girls. I squinted suspiciously at Kaoru. “Fancy move there, Kaoru. Where’d you learn it?”

“Ju Jitsu,” she said with a sweet smile. “My family owns one of the only dojos in the US. I’ve been studying since I was five.”

“I might have known,” I sighed, settling down. If she had been practicing that long, then she would beat me every time. I was pretty good, but the break in my studying had cut me back several years. Besides, at the moment, I was just too exhausted to attempt the escape. “What do I have to do to convince you two to let me up?”

“What do you think, Misao?” Kaoru asked teasingly.

“Oh, something that will be really difficult for him!” Misao said mischievously.

“Something really embarrassing?” Kaoru suggested. I was getting impatient, and I showed it by tugging against the grip Misao had on my wrists. She just pushed them down harder against the floor.

“We can hold it over his head later as blackmail,” Misao nodded.

“Would you hurry it up?” I demanded, still struggling a bit in their grip. I really was not comfortable in that position. “Kaoru’s getting heavy. I can barely breathe!”

“Something really painful,” Kaoru added. Okay, maybe it would have been wiser not to involve Kaoru’s weight in my comments.

“What are you two doing to Kenshin?” Omasu asked as she returned to the room.

“We’re trying to decide something for him to do,” Kaoru said brightly.

“Something so embarrassing, he’ll never want to tell anyone about it,” Misao explained. “Something really hard--”

“And painful!” Kaoru interjected.

“In exchange for us letting him go,” Misao concluded.

“Oh! Let’s make him sing!” Omasu jumped right in.

“Traitor!” I grumbled.

“I’ve already heard him sing,” Kaoru shook her head. Double traitor! “Let’s do something else.”

“Make him tell us his deepest, darkest secret!” Misao giggled. “Do you dye your hair, Kenshin?”

“That’s not a deep, dark secret, and no, I don’t,” I grumbled, a bit uneasy at that last suggestion. I just hoped they did not notice my immediate reaction to Misao’s suggestion. Not that they could force me to confess anything, but the mere mention caused the blood to drain from my face.

“Oh! I have an idea!” Kaoru smiled ferally.

^_^

It was painful, although not all that embarrassing. The difficult part was sitting still while three girls surrounded me with their giggling and cosmetic items. No, they did not put make-up on me, thank the heavens. What was painful, though, was all the pulling and tugging and twisting of my hair.

Yes, I let them do my hair. I have never understood the fascination behind it. I mean... it’s just hair. Just because mine was down to my waist--so was Kaoru’s. Her hair was not quite that long, but really close. Maybe it was the gender factor. Guys, in general, did not have long hair. Yeah... maybe that was it.

“Oh, my god!” Omasu gasped at one point that evening.

We blinked at her uncertainly. My blink was actually to get rid of the pained tears that were in my eyes. Those three had pulled hard on my hair, and they were not done yet.

“It’s one-thirty!” she pointed at my alarm clock.

“So?” Misao grinned. “It’s Friday. Who cares?”

“We can’t walk across the bridge at this time of night!” Omasu pointed out.

“All three of you live on the other bank, don’t you?” I asked, wincing as Misao worked out a particularly nasty tangle. “Careful!”

“With all the talk about students disappearing and... stuff,” Kaoru flushed, and I knew exactly to what she was referring. “I don’t really want to walk that distance at this time either. But we’ll, uh... there’ll be three of us.”

A chivalrous man would have offered to walk them back to their dorms at that point. After all, a man’s presence was usually enough to deter many would-be kidnappers and rapists. Most men looked like men in the darkness. My hair was in twin braids down my back, I was barely taller than Kaoru, and I had more men flirt with me than women.

“You can stay here tonight,” I offered before I could pause to think about it a little more.

“Really?” Misao giggled.

“Are you sure, Kenshin?” Kaoru looked at me cautiously. “We don’t want to bother you.”

“I can’t let you walk alone around the city at this time of night,” I shrugged, absently fiddling with the fuzzy purple thing that was wrapped around the end of the braid over my right shoulder. “You won’t bother me.”

“All right!” Misao squealed and flung her arms around my neck from behind. “Slumber party!”

“Where do we sleep?” Omasu wondered.

I looked around. There was the bed, the futon... that was about it. The floor? It looked like I was going to have to be chivalrous after all.

“Someone can take the bed,” I suggested. “That futon can pull down to make a space big enough for two, and... and I’ll take the floor.”

“Kenshin, you don’t have to give up your bed!” Omasu broke in quickly.

“I’ll be fine,” I shrugged, pulling away from their hair-styling fingers to go dig in my closet. “I’ve got some extra sheets and blankets... and some extra towels...” I glanced at them with an uncertain frown. “If you want, I can check with some of the girls in the other wing to see if they’ll let you use their showers.”

“You mean we can’t use yours?” Misao blinked at me with false innocence. “It’s a single shower, isn’t it?”

“All of the bathrooms in here are,” I chuckled. “But I have to share that bath with Chou and Kamatari. They’re not known to let a locked door stop them from entering if they want to use the bathroom.”

“Talking from experience here, Kenshin?” Kaoru teased.

“Kamatari has a nasty habit of walking in when someone’s bathing,” I admitted. “He, uh...” Wow, that was an embarrassing subject. I don’t know why I had to continue, but I did. “He takes a bit longer getting ready in the morning than the other guys on the floor.”

“Why?” Misao wondered.

“Getting his hair styled...” I could not believe I was talking about this. “Kamatari is very... meticulous about his appearance.”

“Sounds like the girl in the room next to mine,” Misao observed, rolling her eyes. “She wears more make-up than a clown.”

“Kamatari doesn’t wear that much make-up,” I muttered, then clapped my hand over my mouth. I had not meant to actually say that aloud.

“I’ve got to meet this guy,” Misao snorted. Kaoru and Omasu just laughed.

“I’m sure you will,” I groaned, blinking as I realized I was just standing there. I returned to pulling blankets from the shelf. “I’ve got some clothes that might work if anyone is uncomfortable sleeping in their day clothes.”

We settled down pretty quickly after that. Kaoru took the bed while Omasu and Misao figured out the best way to sleep on the futon. I let Kaoru use my pillow, but I took the gorilla in its place. Misao raided my movie collection and pulled out Star Wars, popping it into the player while we got ready for bed. Kaoru and Omasu both opted to borrow some of my old clothes--tee-shirts and boxers--to sleep in, and I wore a sweatshirt and flannel pants. It got really cold on that floor.

“Too bad we can’t use your toothbrush, too,” Misao giggled, poking fun at how I was so liberal with my belongings.

“The toothpaste you can use,” I replied wearily, adjusting the pillow-like stuffed animal behind my head. It wasn’t exactly like a pillow. Most pillowcases don’t have fur. “The toothbrush is mine and mine alone.”

“Are you sure you don’t want the bed, Kenshin?” Kaoru asked anxiously.

“I’m fine,” I sighed. Already my eyelids were starting to droop. I heard R2-D2 blip-beeping in the background. A quiet, “We’re doomed!” and some explosions. “Just stay up there...”

I might have said more, but I did not notice. My brain had shut down and shoved me into sleep. The last thing I remember hearing before I drifted away completely was Princess Leia, begging Obi Wan Kanobe for help.

^_^

Five-thirty rolled around, and I was awake. Less than three and a half hours of sleep that night. Coarse fur tickled my nose, and I dragged my hand up to block it. I opened my eyes to stare dully at the black fuzz that covered my stuffed animal-turned-pillow.

With a heavy sigh, I pushed myself to my feet, letting the blankets lay where they fell. For a few seconds I just stood there, waiting for the room to stop spinning and my stomach to relax in its restless churning. Dehydration and exhaustion always took their toll. My head pounded from sleeping on the floor--barely softer than concrete.

Two minutes later, I had finished most of a bottle of water and swallowed three aspirin. I stood in my closet, facing the drawers, countertop, and mirror, staring at my shadowed reflection.

I looked like hell. My hair was still pulled tight in those god-awful braids, making me look downright gaunt. Red-rimmed eyes stared back at me, bloodshot from lack of sleep. The pounding in my skull increased momentarily, and I stifled a groan, sliding down the wall at my back to sit on the floor. Folding my arms over my knees, I curled forward, willing the pain away.

A knock on the door made me blink and lift my head. The hammering headache had faded considerably, but my body was stiff. It was almost as if I had sat in that position for more than a few seconds. And who in their right mind would be up and about at five-thirty on a Saturday morning? No one I knew.

Scrambling to my feet, despite the protest of my cramped limbs, I flipped the lock and yanked open the door. I stared up at Sano in shock. The man was even fully dressed and ready to face the day. He was never awake before noon on Saturday!

“Sano?” I blinked at him dumbly. “Is something wrong?”

He grinned, a bit confused looking, and shook his head.

“Why would anything be wrong?” he replied. He raised an eyebrow at me, eyes traveling over my pajama-clad body curiously. “Why aren’t you dressed yet? We were going to hit the slopes today, remember? And what the hell did you do to your hair?”

I stared at him.

“What time is it?”

“Nine-oh-two, according to your alarm clock,” Kaoru’s voice rose behind me, thick with a yawn. “Oh! Hello, Sanosuke.”

“Hi, Kaoru,” Sano’s eyes were wide with surprise. “Kenshin, should I come back--”

“Don’t even say it!” I interrupted quickly, self-consciously unbraiding my hair. “I’ll be ready in twenty minutes. Come on in, Sano.”

Grinning in great amusement, Sano sauntered into the room, glancing down at the blankets on the floor and over at the two on the futon who were slowly waking.

“Three!” he observed.

“Get your head out of the gutter, Sano,” I grumbled, glaring at my hair. It was crimped and wavy from having been in braids for so long. “We were studying last night.”

“Studying the mechanics of hair styling?” Sano teased.

“We could probably braid your hair, Sanosuke,” Kaoru offered, making me grin as I pulled out my toothbrush. She reached up and brushed her fingers across his hair lightly, making him flinch.

“No way!” he held up his hands defensively. “If Kenshin wants to get in touch with his feminine side, then that’s fine with me. Just leave me out of it.”

I was not grinning anymore. Grumbling under my breath, I stalked out of the room, across the hall to the bathroom. Kamatari was already there, calmly applying lipstick. There would be no accessing that mirror for the next twenty minutes.

“‘Morning, Kamatari,” I greeted, reaching in front of him to wet my toothbrush.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Kamatari smiled brightly. He blinked as he got a closer look at me. “Goodness! What did you do to your hair?” As if I could answer while I had a toothbrush in my mouth. So I shrugged and continued to scrub away at my teeth. “Did you try one of those wash-in perms? Next time you want to try something like that, leave it to the professionals.”

I spat in the sink.

“My hair was in braids all night, Kamatari,” I explained, then shoved my toothbrush back into my mouth. Kamatari blinked, looking rather comical with one eye made up and the other devoid of cosmetics. He did not use much, actually. It was more tasteful than many girls I had seen. I sometimes liked to watch as he applied mascara. Talk about daring, putting stuff like that so close to his eyes.

“Thank god!” Kamatari laughed. “I’d hate to see your hair like that all the time, sweetheart.”

Although I was a bit leery of the transvestite, he was a nice guy. He treated me with nothing but the utmost respect, merely demanding the same in return. That was simple enough. Sometimes he would drop in while I was studying in my room, and I would listen while he talked about anything and everything. Those times were really nice.

“How’ve you been feeling lately, sweetheart?” Kamatari threw his arm around my shoulders and squeezed lightly. “You look tired.”

After I finished with my teeth, I finally lifted my head and smiled at his reflection.

“I stayed up pretty late last night,” I told him. “I’m going skiing with Sano this afternoon. You want to come?”

“And wreck this masterpiece?” Kamatari fluffed his hair dramatically. I smiled and shook my head. He gave me a mournful look, reaching up to tug on a lock of my hair. “Come see me later. I’ll fix this for you.”

“Maybe,” I allowed, backing out of the room. “See you later, Kamatari.”

“Be careful on those slopes, sweetheart!” he called after me as I walked back into my room.

“Sweetheart?” Kaoru asked with a sly smile.

I had long since gotten over my embarrassment where Kamatari was involved. A month of blushing every time he called me ‘sweetheart’ had been enough. It occurred to me that I was lucky he deemed me worthy of his pet names. He only ever used them for people he liked.

“That’s just Kamatari,” Sano leaned against the wall, blocking the path from the main room to my closet. I ducked behind him, digging through a drawer for some warm, comfortable clothes. He would stand there until I finished dressing, I knew, saving me from having to change in the bathroom. “He’s... a little off.”

“He have a thing for Kenshin?” Misao giggled.

“Misao!” Omasu gasped. That girl was so easily scandalized.

“Kamatari’s not interested in Kenshin,” Sano laughed. “He’s made it a point not to make any advances on the guys here.”

The conversation dwindled then, and I rapidly finished changing. After tugging my hair into a low ponytail, I examined my reflection once more. It was better than it had been earlier. Apparently, three hours of sleeping in the closet was enough to perk up my appearance. My face was still a bit pale, and I still felt a bit sick, but overall, it was a great improvement.

I gave Kaoru the spare key to my room on the condition that she return it Monday in class, and Sano dragged me off to his car. Nine-thirty-three--according to his dashboard clock--and we were on our way to a day at Afton Alps.

^_^

I did not remember arriving back at the dorms that Saturday night. Nor did I recall walking from Sano’s car up to my room. What I could remember was getting into the car and drifting away somewhere between Afton and the highway. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in bed, early Sunday morning.

Sano swore on his mother’s grave that I had walked under my own power to my room. No one gave me funny looks--no more than usual, anyway--the following days, so he was probably telling the truth. I had been sleep walking. That was better than thinking Sano had carried me. My face heated just thinking about that. I didn’t need that!

So when I opened my eyes at four-seventeen Sunday morning, I was a bit disoriented. The park closed at eleven, so I figured I was at about five hours of sleep. It was better than some nights. Considering that I had not bathed since Friday, I felt dirty. Despite the hour, I wandered out to the bathroom with a towel and hopped into the shower.

The hot water spray was relaxing, soothing my achy muscles and warming that chill that had settled in me the instant I had stepped out into the cold of late fall. Winter was not my favorite of seasons. It was with great effort that I managed to tolerate all that snow and cold. That and years of Uncle Hiko shoving me out the door to shovel the driveway despite my intense aversion to the icy white stuff. When I had a job and a suitable income, I fully intended to move someplace warm. Damn the winter anyway.

Quite some time later, I was wrapped in warm flannel and soft cotton, and I wandered out into the TV lounge. The early morning news had just begun, so I picked a channel and let it play. Outside it was snowing. It was difficult to see in the dark, but upon closer inspection, the movement of the falling flakes was evident. I stared out the window, completely zoned out for awhile.

“Hey, Kenshin!”

I jerked in surprise, looking over my shoulder to see Chou’s familiar outline in the glass doorway. He grinned.

“What are you doing up so early?” I wondered, glancing at the time on the news. According to that number below Peter Jennings, it was five-thirty.

“You’re up early,” Chou snorted. “I am up extraordinarily late!”

“You haven’t gone to bed yet?” Crazy guy.

“No sir!” Chou smirked. “You up for the day?”

“Probably.”

“Well, come on then,” he gestured toward the nearby hallway. “You might as well see what Kamatari looks like without all his make-up on.”

I had to smile. Turning off the TV, I got up and followed Chou back to his room.

Something kind of scary happened in the hallway between the TV lounge and Chou’s room. I was walking along after the tall blond when everything around me seemed to fall away. Chou was suddenly far more than a few steps in front of me, the walls curling out bizarrely, and worst of all, the floor tilting down like those ski slopes of the previous day.

Needless to say, this startled me a bit. I stopped and stood still, swaying a bit on my feet as the hall continued to tilt crazily. My stomach lurched, and I bit my lip to stave off the resulting motion sickness.

Then, the world snapped back to its normal parameters, and I was left there, trembling and sweaty. My breath was ragged in my chest, stomach still churning restlessly. In other words, I felt pretty sick and just a tad bit alarmed.

“Hey, slowpoke,” Chou glanced at me as he unlocked his door, some distance away. “You coming?”

I belonged in bed, I thought. But Chou was waiting for me to make a decision, and I was feeling a little lonely. Smiling shakily, I nodded and followed him into the room.

^_^

After the one episode, early that Sunday morning, nothing else happened. It was a relief, and I decided it must have been my lack of sleep and decent food that did it. Life went on like normal.

Kaoru came over later that week. I had since discovered she was very good with politics, and she had agreed to help me study for my World Governments class. It was something new. I had never had a tutor before. So one Wednesday evening, Kaoru walked around my room, drilling me on the chapters I had studied while I sat on my bed, wearily answering as much as I could.

When we decided I would not learn anything more that evening, we took a break and went to dinner with Sano. Afterwards, we went back up to my room to work on homework together. I was farther along in math than she was, but for the most part, she was ahead. It made sense, considering she had opted for Post Secondary her senior year in high school and I had barely gotten enough credits to pass high school. But damn did it make me feel dumb.

“She’s pretty.”

Blinking to clear my eyes of graphs and vectors, I looked up to see Kaoru standing by a shelf in the corner of my room. That was the section of this cell that I put things I wanted with me but did not want to look at unless I needed them. At the moment, Kaoru was staring at the two 5-by-7 pictures I had framed and sitting on the shelf. I knew which one she was looking at.

“She your girlfriend?” Kaoru asked curiously.

“Uh... no,” I frowned and looked back down at my math homework. “She was... um... my sister.”

“Was?” Kaoru asked, then checked herself. “I’m sorry. That’s not my business.”

“That’s okay,” I assured her, but I did not lift my head. It really was not okay. I did not want to talk about Tomoe. So I concluded with, “She died a few years ago,” and hoped Kaoru took the hint and kept her mouth shut.

“Oh... uh...” she was searching for a way to recover. “Um... are these your parents?”

Yeah. That was much better.

“Yeah, they were.”

“I’m just slopping this up, aren’t I?” Kaoru sighed.

“Don’t worry about it, Kaoru,” I managed a weak smile at her. “My parents died when I was really little. I barely remember them.”

“But your sister?” Kaoru asked anxiously.

I looked away. Why did she have to go and press the issue? The girl was dead. Issue at an end. Period.

“I was fifteen,” I said curtly. “Of course I remember her.”

“I’m sorry,” Kaoru murmured. “I didn’t mean...”

Please, please just drop it, I silently begged. I looked at her, my stare as flat and cold as I could manage. She shut her mouth and quickly put down the picture of Tomoe. Good. I turned back to my work, willing that lump in my throat to go away. I would not be able to look over into that corner of my room for a month. Desperately, I prayed Kaoru would not say anything more.

She sat down next to me and was quiet. For quite some time, Kaoru poked away at her physics homework, diligent as could be. I stared at my math, my mind perfectly blank. It was kind of nice. Granted, I was not getting my homework done.

“Kenshin,” Kaoru started hesitantly. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Damn it. That lump settled in my throat again, choking off anything I might have said. All I could do was shake my head and reach to turn my calculator back on. Unfortunately, Kaoru was not so easily deterred.

“You know, it might help,” she offered. “If you tell someone--”

“Excuse me,” I interrupted her, scrambling to my feet. My voice was horribly thick, almost to the point of incoherence. It was very embarrassing. Kaoru gave me a startled look as I ran out of the room, across the hall, and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

I would rather not recall that brief time I spent there. It was completely miserable. No, I did not cry, nor did I get sick. Almost, but not quite. Almost cry? Or almost get sick? Both.

Kaoru was worried. I could see it in her eyes when I finally returned to my room. Surely my face was still pale. My hands shook, so I let them hang loose at my sides to hide it. I muttered some implausible excuse involving the call of nature to Kaoru, said I was tired--which was not really a lie--and sent her packing. She looked like she wanted to stay, but I was determined to be alone. I shut the door on her protest before she could get the words out.

I slept a total of perhaps twenty-five minutes that night.

^_^

Kaoru acted really strange after that study night. For some reason, I found myself feeling a bit like the proverbial sleeping dog. She was letting me lie on my past issues, quietly prancing around them whenever we spoke. Fine, but she also seemed perpetually nervous, her smile forced, laughter nonexistent--at least, while I was around. Thank god we only saw each other three times a week--one hour at a time. I never would have tolerated it otherwise. Talk about making a guy feel awkward.

This behavior went on for about two weeks, actually. At one time it would not have bothered me. Too bad that time was past. It drove me nuts.

So it was late one afternoon during the second week when I was walking to my room, trying to ignore that nagging feeling inside of me that just screamed ‘KAORU!’ that the door to Kamatari and Chou’s room was open. Curiosity got the better of me, and I glanced in while walking past it.

Kamatari was inside, sitting on his bed and reading out of a textbook. As if sensing my stare, he looked up and smiled at me. Without a word, he looked back to his book. After flipping his page, he lifted his hand to point at the empty space on his bed. I took the invitation and entered, dropping my bag on the floor and settling down by Kamatari’s feet.

For several minutes, he was silent, eyes traveling back and forth over the page. I watched him, studying his black-lined eyes for some hint as to what he was thinking. I was no mind reader. Whatever he thought remained with him, forever unknown to the world.

Finally, he slapped the book shut, the noise making me jump. He smiled at me.

“Volcanoes,” he said simply. “Fascinating things.”

“I’m sure,” I said mildly.

“Just get back from Calc?” he asked.

“World Governments,” I shrugged.

“Exciting?”

“I didn’t fall asleep this time.”

He laughed, sounding more masculine then than he usually did. Strange how he let his guard down when he did that.

“What’s bugging you, sweetheart?”

Kamatari always jumped straight to the heart of the problem. It was disconcerting.

I shrugged, looking down to see my fingers fiddling with the hem of my pants. I quickly stilled the motion.

“Just a little tired,” I muttered.

“We’re all a little tired, sweetheart,” Kamatari nudged my shoulder lightly. “It’s part of being in college. You’ve got more than just that ‘I stayed up until four last night’ look about you.”

Grumbling softly, I chuckled and shook my head. He was too perceptive for his own good. It was no wonder he was studying psychology.

“Kaoru keeps treating me like a temperamental dog,” I sighed. “Like I’ll bite if she brushes me wrong.”

“Will you?” Kamatari challenged.

Probably. Well... not bite. Bark, maybe. Really nastily. I sighed again and leaned back against the wall.

“I don’t get what I’m doing wrong,” I grumbled. “When I did everything in my power to get her to stay away, she was like a leech. Now that I’m trying to be nice, she gets all edgy and doesn’t like talking to me.” When I said it out loud, it really sounded bad. “Is my personality so lacking?”

“Only when you get defensive,” Kamatari said with a little grin.

“When have I ever been defensive with you?” I demanded, then blinked as Kamatari laughed outright.

“Right now, sweetheart.”

“You did that on purpose.”

“No, but you proved a nice point to yourself, didn’t you?” Kamatari smirked. His expression grew serious then, and he set his book aside so he could sit up and lean forward. “Sanosuke is worried about you.”

“Nice of him to tell me,” I tilted my head curiously. “Why?”

“Apparently he thinks you’ve gone anorexic on us,” Kamatari reached forward and poked at my side. I shied away from the touch, trying not to chuckle. It was wise not to let this guy know that I was ticklish if I ever wanted to be able to breathe in his presence. He loved finding peoples’ weak spots like that. Kamatari looked at me with concern in his eyes. “You feeling okay, sweetheart?”

Oh... that.

“I’m not anorexic,” I said hotly. “Just because I don’t eat enough to feed a small village in one sitting--”

“I know you eat, sweetheart,” Kamatari cut off my protest then. “But you could tell me what these sleepless nights are all about. I see you in the lounge late at night, yet you’re always up before anyone else.”

“I have homework--”

“You have plenty of time to do it during the day.”

“I’m fine,” I scowled at him, climbing off the bed by that point. This conversation was going nowhere. “I need to get goi--ack!”

There was one thing about Kamatari that people rarely realized. He did his hair up, put on cosmetics, and liked to wear pink shirts with ‘Princess’ scrawled over the chest, but he definitely had his masculine points. The main thing was that he was very fast and extraordinarily strong.

I yelped in alarm as he lunged after me, ducking and lifting me completely off my feet. My automatic reaction was to grab hold of him to assure that he did not drop me on the floor. Then, I started to struggle against the arms under my knees and back. Kamatari just laughed at my efforts and carried me out of the room.

“Put me down!” it was an effort not to shout. I came pretty close to it, though. “Damn it! Kamatari!”

“You need a little excitement in your life,” Kamatari giggled, never putting me down as he walked through the lounge to the elevators. People looked at us in amusement, a few of them egging Kamatari on. I gave them very dirty looks indeed.

“Kamatari, what are you doing?” Aoshi met us at the elevator. He had his reading glasses on, and it was obvious that he had been studying.

“Can’t you tell?” Kamatari laughed. “We’re running away together. Push the down button, would you?”

Aoshi complied, and I glared at him.

“You’re not supposed to help him, Aoshi!” I growled, still trying in vain to squirm free of that impossible grip. Even Sano could not keep me immobile for so long!

“It is apparent that you have been... swept off your feet, Kenshin,” Aoshi said coolly. “I would hate to stand in your way.”

With that, he walked away. I glowered at his back.

“Traitor!”

Of course, being the quiet, stoic man that he was, Aoshi did not respond. The elevator dinged, and Kamatari walked in. The doors closed behind us.

“Aren’t your arms getting tired?” I whined.

“Nope!” Kamatari grinned at me. “You’re light as a feather.”

“A feather off a damned big bird!” I snapped. “Put me down.”

“Nope,” he said again. I sighed and stopped struggling for the moment. In an elevator, I was not going anywhere, even if I did get him to drop me.

We hit the main floor, and I started fighting again.

“Where are we going?” I demanded.

“We’re running away together,” Kamatari smiled cheerily. “Didn’t you listen when we spoke with Aoshi?”

“Kamatari, put me down!”

Someone held open the door for him, grinning and waving at us. I made a swipe for the door, then that person holding it, and missed both as Kamatari moved quickly past them. I was starting to curse, so frustrated was I.

“What the hell are you doing?!” My struggles increased tenfold as he made his way to the exit. At this point, I equated Kamatari to a vise. “Kamatari, you little shi--”

“There’s no need to get nasty, sweetheart,” Kamatari interrupted quickly. We were outside. It was snowing and cold and windy, and I didn’t have my jacket, and I was mad. Oh, I was raging by that point, nearly lightheaded in my fury. “Here we are.”

“No, you don’t--Kamatari!”

His name came out a rather unpleasant screech, actually. It cut off very abruptly, though, when I landed in a snow drift. The asshole threw me into a three-foot pile of snow!

I was out of that snow in less time than it took for me to fall into it. Shuddering with cold and irritation, I turned my glare on Kamatari, filling it with as much murderous intent as I possessed. Not a whole lot, granted, but enough to get the point across.

Kamatari took off running, laughing his pretty head off all the way back into the building. And I had to wait more than two minutes in sub-zero temperatures for someone with a key to the building to let me through the door. Very few words that were not four-letter expletives came from my mouth for the next three to five minutes, although no one could understand them through my chattering teeth. Then, for the next several hours, I was bundled up in six layers and still could not stop shivering. I refused to talk to Kamatari the rest of the evening.

Sano, of course, thought the entire situation was funny as hell.

^_^