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My Life: Chapter 6 - Blackout

by Fitz

Despite the fact that Kamatari threw me into the snow and left me locked out in the cold, he did say something that struck a chord in me. My own, distant attitude had intimidated Kaoru that one evening. The fact that I knew I would snap at her if she tried to nose into my life like that again was enough to prove that I was still pushing her friendship away. I resolved to fix this problem immediately--that is to say, when next I saw Kaoru in class.

“Kaoru, do you have some free time after class?”

She looked at me oddly when I asked this, then nodded and smiled a bit warily.

“Sure, Kenshin. Did you need some help on your homework?”

I had to wince at that. Did she expect so little of me that her immediate thought was that my request to spend time with her was merely because I wanted something? I guess it was nice to know where I stood with her.

“Um, no,” I stumbled over the words in my discomfort. I scolded myself for my jumpiness. It was not as if I was asking her on a date! Just a few minutes of her time to discuss a few things. “I thought we could go have some lunch... or something.” It was nine o’clock in the morning when our class ended.

“Sure, Kenshin,” Kaoru smiled brightly. “That would be nice.”

I smiled back, immensely relieved. Honestly, I had not expected it to be so easy. It would not be.

The class crawled by. There was a guest speaker, and we had to listen to the guy talk about his theories on Edward Allen Poe. As if anybody cared! Embarrassingly enough, I fell asleep during this lecture. Somebody kicked my chair, and I jerked awake, grateful I did not cry out in my surprise. I didn’t think the professor noticed.

The end of the hour did not come a minute too soon. I was out of my chair and gathering my books the instant the professor dismissed us. Kaoru was ready by the time I packed up, and I followed her to the door. That was when it happened again.

Just as I was reaching the door, my vision grayed out. For a few seconds it was like tunnel vision, the world narrowing down before me, and then everything went black. I staggered and hit the wall.

Through the entire period of maybe fifteen seconds, I remained mostly aware of my surroundings. I could hear just fine. It was just that pesky temporary blindness that had me so off balance. The disorientation and sudden rush of panic was what made me stumble and fall.

“Kenshin?!” Kaoru’s voice, so filled with fear, did nothing to assuage my own alarm. She grabbed for my arms, holding me steady as I sank to sit on the floor. “Kenshin, what’s wrong?!”

“I can’t--” I shook my head, trying to clear it. Of course, it did not help at all. In fact, it only served to make my head hurt.

Someone pushed against my back, trying to make me double over and put my head between my knees. As if I was not embarrassed as it was.

“I’ll be fine,” I protested, resisting the movement. I willed myself to feel better, staring hard into space. As if heeding my plea, everything went back to normal. Well, if sitting on the floor with half the creative writing class hovering around me anxiously could be considered normal. I blinked at them, finally focusing on the worried blue eyes in front of me. I smiled weakly. “I’m fine.”

“Fine?” Kaoru asked incredulously. “Kenshin, you just blacked out! How is that fine?!”

“It was just a little spell,” I insisted, climbing to my feet cautiously. Kaoru caught my arms, along with Misao and the professor. Between the three of them, they held more of my weight than I did.

“You should sit down, Kenshin,” Kristen--the professor--suggested. “We can have someone pick you up and take you to the clinic--”

“I’m fine,” I insisted. Their persistence was annoying. I pulled away from them, picking up the bag I had dropped. “I don’t need a doctor.”

Of course I did not need a doctor. Nothing good ever came from being in a clinic. They would just ask me what kind of drugs I had been doing lately, take blood, and send me packing. I would be kept in the dark until Hiko felt the urge to tell me just what the hell was going on. It was not like I was fainting regularly. In fact, I had not fainted at all. A blackout--that was what Kaoru called it. Hardly life-threatening.

“I’ll walk him to the clinic,” Kaoru volunteered. I glared at the three, irritated that they felt they could push me into this. A glance at Kristen informed me that there would be no refusing Kaoru’s suggestion while in her classroom, so I looked away and muttered my agreement. Kaoru took my arm and led me out the room.

Outside, it was cold and miserable again. I refused to talk to Kaoru as we walked toward Washington Avenue. The clinic was about two blocks away, not too far from a bus stop for very obvious reasons. We trudged along the newly plowed sidewalks, Kaoru standing far too close for comfort. She probably expected me to fall again. I intended to disappoint her there.

The bus groaned to a stop at the light, and the red ‘Don’t Walk’ signal went dark, a glowing white ‘Walk’ flashing on. Kaoru stepped into the street alone. I made my way toward the bus. It was a nasty trick, I admit. Kaoru did not realize where I had gone until the light turned green, and the bus was on its way. She yelled after the large vehicle, startled, then angry. I was going to pay for this stunt later, but I did not intend to go to any doctor.

Ten minutes later, I walked through the tunnels, following them until I was across the street from my destination. Exiting the music building, I crossed the walkway to the dorm.

^_^

“You stubborn dick,” was how Sano greeted me that evening.

“Nice to see you too, Sano,” I replied quietly, not looking up from where I sat on my futon, math book on my lap, a bottle of water in hand. Really, I was not in the mood for an argument with him. In this situation, Sano had the upper hand anyway.

“You passed out in class?” he demanded to know.

“Blacked out,” I corrected, finishing the last of my assignment. I automatically added, “I’m fine,” although I knew it would not fly with Sano.

“The hell you are!”

He yanked the math book away from me, despite my indignant protest, and threw it onto the bed. Next, it was the notebook and my calculator.

“Hey!”

“I can’t believe you ditched Kaoru like that!” he snapped furiously.

“Well, I’m sorry,” I shot back, climbing to my feet, intending to pick up my books again. “I told them I did not need to go to the clinic.”

“You fainted!”

“Blacked out.”

“It’s not normal!” Sano caught my arm, yanking on it so that I looked at him. I complied, glaring at him irately.

“I don’t want to go to the doctor,” I said conclusively. My tone was meant to end the conversation, but Sano must not have understood that. He shoved me away, not so hard that I could not catch myself but with enough force to get his anger across.

“To hell with what you want, Kenshin!” Sano growled. “We’re worried!”

“Your concern is appreciated--”

“You don’t give a rat’s ass about anyone else’s opinion but your own, and you know it,” Sano interrupted. “While I can admire that sometimes, now is not one of those times. Call and set up a doctor’s appointment or I’ll do it for you.”

My jaw tightened, my body tensing in response to his words. Sano set his own jaw and crossed his arms. For a long time, we glared at each other, neither willing to budge. It felt like ages, but only a minute passed by the time I gave in.

“Fine!” I threw my hands up in frustration. “I’ll call the damned doctor.”

“Good!”

He did not leave then, as I had expected. No, he just fixed that determined glare on me and continued to stand there, waiting. I stared at him.

“What, now?”

“No, Kenshin. Next Easter,” he lifted his eyes heavenward. “Yes, now!”

“You’re going to stand over me while I call?” I was not overly surprised, but I was offended. At his nod, I lost my temper. “Who the hell do you think you are? What right do you have to push me around like this?”

Sano flinched, but I could not regret the words--not yet, anyway. After the anger faded... maybe then. But at the moment, I was too frustrated and insulted to consider it.

“I’m your friend, Kenshin,” he said softly.

“What kind of person forces his friends to do something they don’t want to do?” I pushed relentlessly.

“One who cares,” he replied, still that quiet, cautious tone.

“I have a hard time believing that,” I stared at him, angry and suddenly filled with a terrible cold. “You’re not exactly the most reliable person I’ve known.”

He tensed, his entire body going taut like a dog that felt threatened. I did not think twice about it.

“I don’t need you,” I said icily. “I was fine without you before, and I’ll be fine without you in the future. So don’t think you can get off with bullying me into submission!”

Stars flashed in my eyes as the back of his hand swiped across my cheek. I nearly fell, but I caught the edge of my bed and gasped noisily to keep that blackness from consuming me. My eyes were painfully wide as I stared at the stark sheets of my bed. Sano had hit me? While every part of my being refused this fact, my sore cheek attested to the truth behind it.

“Fuck you, Kenshin,” Sano growled. “I don’t need this shit either.”

Then, he was gone. My door slammed, the sound making me flinch, and I sighed. Whether I was relieved or saddened, I had yet to decide.

Since I was already there, I climbed onto my bed and fell limp on it. I fumbled off to the side for the phone, mounted to the wall, and yanked it down. It was a corded phone, as the school recommended. I grumbled to myself and pushed to my knees so I could see the cradle. After tapping in a number, I collapsed back onto the bed and closed my eyes with a heavy sigh. I listened to the ringing in my ear.

“Hello?”

“Uncle Hiko?”

“What do you want?”

I sighed again, wishing that he could be nice for once.

“I need to set up a doctor’s appointment,” I answered.

“What for?” he groused.

“I almost passed out in class today.”

“Then you should get more sleep, idiot,” he rebuked.

“I’m trying, Uncle Hiko,” I said testily. “Would you just set up the appointment?”

“Can’t do it yourself?”

“Not right now,” I mumbled.

“What’s wrong?” he demanded.

“Nothing... it’s fine,” I lied.

“I haven’t heard you like this since that Jonas character was your roommate,” Uncle Hiko pressed.

“It’ll be fine, Uncle Hiko,” I replied tiredly. “Let me deal with it, okay?”

“You going to your classes?”

“Yes--”

“You eating?”

“Yes--”

“Have those friends still?”

I did not respond. After all, what could I say? I had just destroyed two friendships--all in one day. That was impressive.

“Should I call the counselor as well?” Uncle Hiko asked dryly.

“It’s your money,” I retorted.

“Shut the phone off,” he ordered. “I’ll leave a message with your appointment time and date. Get some sleep.”

“Sure, Uncle Hiko.”

I willed him to shut up.

“I don’t want lip service, boy,” he said sternly. “If I find you did not heed me--”

“I’ll sleep!” I snapped. “In fact, I want to do that now. Thanks for the doctor’s appointment, Uncle Hiko. Good night.”

I did not wait for a response, clunking the phone onto its cradle awkwardly. It was just as well. My eyes closed, and I was out.

^_^

Well, I never turned the ring off. It did not matter. If it went off, I did not hear it. In fact, I did not open my eyes again until three-twenty the following morning. Considering I had fallen asleep around six the previous evening, it was an impressive amount of time. Even so, I felt as if I had not slept a wink.

Hardly aware of myself, I rolled out of bed and wandered across the hall to the bathroom. Minutes later, I washed my hands and went back into the hall. The room I went to next was not my own. The late hour did not sway me as I knocked on the door. No one answered immediately, so I knocked again.

“Coming, coming!” a surly voice came from the other side.

The door swished opened, and I blinked up at Sano. His hair was all over the place, flopping in his eyes. It would have been humorous in another situation. He blinked at me owlishly.

“Kenshin?” he frowned. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Yeah, um... sorry about that,” I looked down at my fingers, hands wringing in my anxiety. I clasped them, locking my knuckles to keep from repeating the nervous gesture. “I’m sorry about this afternoon. I didn’t mean what I said.”

That must have been the first time I ever apologized to anyone. No, make it second. I apologized to Kaoru as well. But this felt more awkward than that. Plus I was not running a high fever, nor was I nearly delirious as I had been on that occasion.

Sano did not say anything at first. I shifted on my feet, staring at his feet, and just feeling like the biggest jerk on the planet.

“Uh... I called the doctor,” I offered hesitantly. Well, Uncle Hiko had called the doctor--supposedly. But close enough.

“Was it such a painful thing to do?” he asked, somewhat sleepily.

“I don’t like doctors,” I nodded.

“Why not?”

“A lot of reasons,” I hedged, not up to discussing this yet. “Anyway, you’re... you’re sleeping, and I woke you up. I’m sorry. I’ll just--”

“Come on in,” Sano suggested, stepping out of the way, and I walked in hesitantly. “Tom’s gone for the next two weeks on some special internship...”

I had known that.

“You can sleep in his bed,” Sano suggested.

“I can sleep in my own bed,” I replied uneasily, edging back again.

“It’d make me feel better,” Sano nudged me toward the bed opposite his. “Consider it your method of repaying me for that nasty shit you said earlier.”

“I’m sorry,” I said again.

“I know,” he smirked and nudged me toward the bed again. “Get some sleep.”

I smiled wearily and climbed into the bed.

^_^

The ceiling moved past me rapidly. One streak of light followed by another. There was a lot of noise. People shouting. Flashes of white. Someone talking to me, telling me not to worry, that everything was going to be okay. face="Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif">            What the hell is she talking about? Where’s my sister and her friend? Wasn’t I just with them? I don’t understand. face="Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif">            Blue eyes shined down at me over a strange-looking mask. Some red hair poked out beneath the cap on her head. face="Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif">            “Mom?” face="Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif">            But Mom died a long time ago. I reached up toward her, wanting to see if she was real. She caught my hand between her gloved palms, and her eyes were sad. I frowned at her. face="Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif">            Why won’t she say anything? face="Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif">            “Mom?” face="Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif">            I heard a mournful, wailing tone. I stared down at a face--ghostly white--framed by dark, tangled hair. Her dark brown eyes were open and unseeing. Calling her name softly, I touched her face, willing her to focus on something. face="Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif">            Someone had my arms and was shaking me. That tone continued to wail. I struggled against that force pulling me away from her. I called out. face="Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif">            Her eyes went startlingly clear, and she stared at me. Her mouth opened, and she spoke to me-- face="Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif">            “What the hell is wrong with you, Kenshin?!”

My eyes snapped open, and I sat up automatically. I promptly cracked my forehead on something hard. That was followed by soft cursing and a sudden cessation of the shaking that had helped wake me.

“Ow!”

Holding a hand to my injured head, I squinted at the person who was cursing up a storm beside me.

“Sano?” I asked. Well, it came out more of a gasping breath. I was shivering and panting, shaken from the nightmare.

“Nnngh! GEEZ!” he burst out finally, rubbing his forehead tenderly. “What the hell was that, Kenshin?”

“Sorry,” I grumbled, glancing at the clock across the room. It was six-fifteen. “Do you have class so early?”

“No!” Sano groused, pulling away to go dig through his closet. “I don’t have a class until ten. But you were making so much noise, I couldn’t sleep.”

I opened my mouth to object his complaints, but he continued right on, oblivious to the fact that I was about to talk.

“Since I’m up, I thought I’d go eat,” he declared. “Go change. You’re coming with me.”

“I’m not--”

“If you even think of telling me you’re not hungry, I’ll smack you from here to the cafeteria and back,” he snapped. “You’re coming to breakfast with me.”

I sighed and pushed back the blankets. Sneaking around my cranky friend, I went back to my room.

Uncle Hiko had called sometime the afternoon before. My doctor’s appointment was set for eight o’clock that very morning.

“Damn it!” I glanced at the clock even though I already knew what time it was. I had to catch the bus by seven-fifteen if I was going to make it. Sano would just have to wait if he wanted a breakfast date. I scooped up my towel and pulled out a change of clothes. Sano met me in the hall.

“What are you doing?” he asked, glancing at the towel in my hands.

“I have a doctor’s appointment at eight-thirty,” I explained, hanging my clothes over a hook in the bathroom. “I’m going to have to skip breakfast.”

“I’ll bring you something,” he told me. “You have a ride?”

“I’ll take the bus--”

“I’ll drive you,” he offered.

“I can take the bus,” I shook my head. I did not want him coming with me. I got nervous at the doctor’s office, and I did not want him to see that. “Thank you for the offer.”

“Stubborn ass,” he grunted, moving down the hall. “You like bagels, right?”

“Just don’t get me those spicy ones,” I called back.

“Blueberry?”

“That’s fine.”

I shut the door.

^_^

So, I went to see the doctor. As always, I waited for a good twenty minutes before my name was called. Then, it was the usual. I weighed in, got my blood pressure taken, eyes, ears, mouth, and nose checked, and then another twenty minutes between the time when the nurse left and the doctor came.

Then, I had to go get some blood taken. I hated that part. It always made me feel ill. And so I had another rather embarrassing situation in the doctor’s office where they had to push my head between my knees because I was getting lightheaded. Stupid needles.

They were guessing some sort of chemical imbalance. Maybe something with the thyroid. Something like that. I kept hearing their ‘worst-case scenario’ words in my head.

Cancer... Diabetes...

Nope. Was not going to happen. That stuff always happened to someone else... right? It was times like this that I wished I had a roommate. Doing homework, alone in my room was not a good thing.

Picking up my books, I walked out into the TV lounge. There were always people out there, and now they were watching a rerun of Friends. I wouldn’t get much done with a television on, but that was okay. It’s not like I’d get much done in my room either. And Sano was out there, and he could always make me laugh.

“How was the doctor, Kenshin?”

“Same old thing. They said they’d call with blood test results,” I told him, smiling to show everything was okay. It was not all okay, but I didn’t like it when he worried. He got all mad and gruff, and I’d rather see him smirking at me like he usually did.

Sano just grinned at me. Slouching back into his chair, he looked back to the Gameboy in his hands. That was an old game he was playing--one of the Mario things. For some reason, I still felt kind of funny. It was not the same lonely as I had in my room. I wished Sano had not turned away like that. I felt more lonely, sitting in the corner behind him, unable to even see the TV over his head.

My math homework seemed like a good idea. Then I could ignore the lump in my throat and pretend I was just ignoring everyone else instead of the other way around.

^_^

I think I already mentioned that Kamatari had no respect for the privacy of others. Well, he proved that again in the morning. It was the morning after the day I had gone to the doctor, and I was getting ready for class. I was in the shower when the door opened.

“‘Morning, sweetheart.”

I was not in the mood for conversation, so I did not respond to him. Instead, I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, feeling the harsh spray of the water in my hair, draining down my back. I could have stood like that forever.

“You in here?”

The distinct sound of a shower curtain being jerked to the side made me open my eyes. For a long moment, I just stared at the ceiling, willing myself to have patience. Then, I lowered my head to look at the man. He was looking at me curiously.

“Off in La-La Land, sweetheart?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I murmured, glancing at the half-open curtain. “Do you mind?”

“Oh!” he laughed and pushed the curtain closed again. “Just making sure you hadn’t fainted on us again.”

“I’m fine,” I replied automatically.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

The soap had long since been rinsed from my skin and hair. The fact that my fingers were pruning indicated I had been in the shower far too long. Sighing softly, I shut off the water.

Two minutes later, I was still standing there, shivering in the cool air.

“Kenshin?” Kamatari’s voice broke through my blissfully blank haze.

I blinked, focusing on the tile wall in front of me.

“I’m here,” I muttered, turning to reach for my towel, just as he opened the curtain again. I sighed. “Kamatari, that is very disconcerting.”

His dark eyes searched my face, and I glanced away uneasily. If I broke down then, I would never stop, and then I would miss class. Another towel dropped on my head.

“What--?”

I gasped and jerked back as Kamatari started rubbing at my hair vigorously. As I had discovered before, it was nearly impossible to get away from that man when he had a task on his mind. Considering I had one hand busy with the towel at my waist, I think it was fair to say I was not fit to put up much of a struggle.

“Kamatari!” I sputtered, disoriented from the movement. I yelped as my foot hit the slightly raised barrier of the shower, sending me sprawling backwards. Thank god Kamatari had quick reflexes. He caught me, saving me from what promised to be a painful fall. As he had caused the spill, I would not have forgiven him had he let me hit the tile floor.

In the end, he had one foot in the shower, one foot out, and both of his arms around my back. Forgoing the towel, I had grabbed onto the nearest solid object--namely, Kamatari--and held on tight. It would have been one of my more humiliating experiences had it been anyone but Kamatari. As it was, it was awkward. There he was, bent over precariously, keeping me from toppling to the floor, and the only reason my towel had yet to fall was because I was pressed up against his side.

“Kamatari...” I muttered as he struggled to right both of us. “I think the shower is not the best place for roughhousing.”

He just laughed and finally pulled us back. I reached with one hand and caught my towel before it could fall, my other arm still clinging tight around Kamatari’s neck. He chuckled again, amused by our plight.

“Sweetheart, you are too cute.”

“Well, thanks,” I drawled, stepping away and brushing the wild hair out of my face. Those tangles were going to take forever to comb out. “Next time you feel like drying my hair, tell me first.”

“You just looked like you needed some cheering up,” Kamatari picked up his own towel off the floor of the shower. “You were so dazed, sweetheart.”

“Are you my personal counselor?” I asked dryly.

“You don’t need a counselor, Kenshin,” Kamatari patted my cheek and smiled warmly. “You looked like you needed a friend.”

I found myself blinking back tears and cursed my sudden sensitivity. Kamatari tapped my nose, making me blink again, and turned to the mirror.

“You’re going to be late for class, sweetheart,” he informed me.

“...Right,” I had this sudden urge to hug him. Of course, I restrained myself. Shaking my head, I picked up my clothes and opened the door.

“Oh, and sweetheart?”

“Hmm?” I looked back to see Kamatari smiling at my reflection in the mirror.

“Perk up!” he chirped. “Your face was made for smiling.”

I chuckled wryly and left the bathroom.

^_^

Kamatari was right. I was late for class. My blood was pounding in my ears by the time I reached the classroom, my chest burning with exertion. I had gotten off on the first bus stop and run the rest of the way. It was faster that way, but I was out of shape. Not only that, I slipped several times on the icy sidewalks--fell once. I was in too much of a hurry to be embarrassed.

Despite all my efforts, it was five after eight by the time I reached the room. I pulled open the door, then quickly backed out again when I saw that someone was giving a presentation. I had forgotten about that. It left my mind the instant my own presentation was complete.

Closing the door quietly, I leaned against the wall and took the time to catch my breath. Sliding down the wall, I sat on the floor. Someone would come get me when it was okay to enter.

So I was surprised when the door opened a few seconds later. Blinking uncertainly, I looked up to see Kaoru gazing down at me solemnly. She closed the door, and I knew the person was still presenting. I recalled the last time I had seen her--I had ditched her and ignored her words as she tried to call me back. Ouch.

“Did you ever go to a doctor?” she demanded immediately.

What could I say? I nodded, looking down at my knees, pulled up almost to my chest. It was too difficult to look at her.

“What did they say?” she asked as she sat down next to me. Feeling immensely guilty, I just shrugged. “Do they know what caused the black out?”

“Just guesses,” I muttered. I did not want to think about what the doctor had said just yet. Honestly, it scared me, and I hated being afraid.

“What kind of guesses?”

I stared down the hall. It was boring, with tiled flooring and painted concrete walls. It was so much easier to focus on the dusty overhead lights rather than what I might have felt about everything just then.

“Maybe a chemical imbalance,” I told her quietly. “Maybe something else...”

“Like what?” Did that girl never give up? I sighed.

“Diabetes is a big one,” I looked down at the floor between my feet. “Cancer.”

She was quiet for awhile then. I could feel the weight of her gaze on me. It was not a comfortable thing. Normally, it would not have upset me like it did, but my emotions were on the blitz that morning. I brought my hands to my face, covering my mouth and nose but not my eyes. I was not going to cry in front of Kaoru.

Then, she was hugging me. She started out hesitantly, as if afraid of rejection. The fear was probably warranted, but I did not pull away. I was not sure how to react to it, actually. As a general rule, I did not hug people. That was why I was a bit surprised at my own impulsive reaction to Kamatari that morning. Again, I blamed it on some chemicals misfiring in my brain, causing these unwanted emotions.

I sniffed.

Damn it! I am not going to cry!

“Kenshin, I’m sorry,” Kaoru whispered into my hair.

“No--” I cleared my throat when my voice cracked. I was getting frustrated by that. “Damn it.”

“Are you scared?” she asked.

“Shitless,” I laughed breathlessly.

She hugged me tighter after that, and I leaned against her gratefully.

“But it could be nothing, right?” she insisted. “So until they say otherwise--”

“It’s not so easy to make yourself believe that,” I murmured.

“I know,” she sighed. “I’m glad you went to the doctor, though.”

I snorted.

“I nearly passed out when they took my blood,” I told her, then wished I had not. Way to tell her something embarrassing about yourself! I chastised myself silently. Now she’ll think you’re a wimp.

But Kaoru just giggled softly and put her head on my shoulder. I rested my cheek against her hair, not at all displeased with the light contact.

“Poor baby,” she teased quietly. “Was that why you didn’t want to go to the doctor?”

“No,” I shook my head slightly. “But I really don’t want to discuss that in the hallway outside of English class.”

“A personal matter?”

“Kind of.”

“Does it have anything to do--”

“Kaoru, please,” I interrupted, knowing exactly where she was taking that. “Not now.”

“Sorry. Geez, Kenshin. You’re so secretive!”

I did not respond to that. After all, what could I tell her? She was right, of course. I was a bit tight-lipped when it came to those things. But who wants to talk about how his parents died? Or his sister? Or all the rotten things I did following that? How I broke out of that vicious cycle? None of it was pleasant, and I was certain Kaoru did not want to know all the gory details.

The door opened, and we both looked up to see Kristen looking down at us, concern bright in her eyes.

“Kenshin, how are you?” she asked immediately.

“Okay,” I smiled weakly. “I don’t know yet.”

“Well enough to attend class?” she wondered skeptically.

“Yes.”

“Erik is going to start his presentation,” Kristen told us. “You can join the class. Just... take it easy, okay?”

“I’ll be okay,” I stood, picking up my bag as I went. I blinked a few times as my head informed me I had risen too suddenly. Kaoru took my hand and gave me a total of one second to react before she pulled me into the room.

^_^