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Ni To Iu Hitokiri: Chapter 5 - Here Be Dragons

by wombat

[A battle is in progress. Hiko suddenly appears, cuts the bandits to shreds, and helps their lone adversary get up.]

"Are you all right, young lady?"

"Man!"

"Sorry-- young man, then."

"And I'm not that young! I'm twenty-eight!"

"Well, I can't just call you 'Man'."

"You could call me 'Kenshin'. Didn't bother to ask my name, did you?"

"I did say I was sorry about the 'young lady', but from behind, you looked like--"

*whap* "Why does everyone think this is a yaoi doujinshi? What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior."

"Well, I am a master of Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu."

"Of what?"

"The style of swordmanship you were using! You were doing the Sou Ryuu Sen Ikazuchi just now! That's Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu, and I am its sensei! You should acknowledge me as your rightful shishou!"

"Oh, that's very nice. I didn't vote for you."

"You don't vote for shishou!"

"How did you become one, then?"

[shimmery light and music] "My own shishou taught me the Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki at the cost of his life, and with his last breath, he bestowed upon me this mantle and the title of Hiko Seijurou."

[light and music scrape to a halt] "Listen, dead teachers distributing clothes is no basis for an educational system. A solid curriculum needs a mandate from the school board, not some sartorial deathbed ceremony."

"Be quiet!"

"You can't expect me to acknowledge you as shishou just because some moribund instructor swathed a garment around you."

"Shut up!"

"I mean, if I went around saying that I was Musashi because an expiring professor emeritus had clapped an overcloak onto me, they'd put me away!"

"Baka deshi!" *whap*

"Ow! What a giveaway. Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help, I'm being repressed!"