Kendo no Go
In the Language of Kendo:
A Fanfic in 100 Chapters
by Akai Kitsune
64: Fight
~*~
Kenshin was late.
Kaoru hated when he came home late; it brought
to mind far too many harsh memories, dark thoughts of the day he had come home,
bathed in twilight and fireflies, and then never returned at all.
The thought terrified her.
"Kenshin... isn't coming home."
It was less than three weeks before Kenji's
third birthday when a letter arrived at the dojo, addressed to Kenshin. It was,
Kaoru noticed, from the police department. She was not happy to see it.
"It's a brief mission to
Sendai," he told her later that night, a reluctant, almost stricken look on his
face. "Yamagata-san contacted me personally. They've had some trouble with one
of the government officials positioned there, and he thought... a familiar face
would give the situation an advantage."
Kaoru frowned tightly at his choice of words.
"You don't have the sakabatou," she said quietly, unable to meet his eyes.
"Aa." He gave her a weak
smile and a shrug. "But sometimes an extra presence alone is enough to solve a
problem."
She was silent for a long time, considering
this. It was true, she knew, and even without his sword he was certainly not
helpless. He had fought unarmed plenty of times before - probably countless
times in the past, when he was unlucky enough to lose his weapon.
"Kenji's birthday-" she
began, her voice breaking in mid-sentence.
His arms were around her instantly, squeezing
her shoulders in gentle comfort, his face pressed into her hair.
"I'll be home," he
whispered, pressing his lips against her cheek in silent apology. "It's only for
about a week, and I'll be taking the train home. We'll have the ticket booked
early. It's only a day away from Tokyo, love..."
"But..."
"I'll be home," he repeated,
his cheek nuzzled against her own, feeling her warmth and hoping he would not
feel her tears.
Kaoru pursed her lips, determined not to cry,
if only he could give her one thing. "You promise?"
"Aa," he smiled, his eyes
closing briefly. "And I'll bring something special for Kenji. All the way from
Sendai... he'll like that, won't he?"
'He'll love it because it's from you.
He'll love it if you're home...'
"I'll be home..."
He left the following day on
the train, courtesy of the man who had hired him, claiming that the sooner he
left, the sooner he could go home. She agreed, of course, and sent him off with
a wave and a smile, holding a dozing Kenji in her arms as they bid him farewell
on the early spring morning.
For two weeks, she heard nothing.
At first she was curious, checking for mail
every day after his departure, knowing he wouldn't send a letter for at least a
week - if at all, since it was such a brief absence - but wishing to be sure
nonetheless. Then as time passed, she grew annoyed, the date of Kenji's birthday
drawing closer with no father in sight. Not even a hint of where he might be or
when he might be back. Her anger was fueled by her desire to protect the child
from the inevitable disappointment of Kenshin's absence. It would be the first
birthday - indeed, the first real holiday in their family - that Kenshin missed,
and she was not pleased. As familiar companions to her anger, fear and worry
gnawed at her heart.
Finally, a scarce few days before Kenji turned
three, Yahiko arrived at the dojo, his face grim and more than a little worried.
The sakabatou at his waist gave her little comfort - even though it was months
after Kenshin had passed on the sword, she still saw it as odd, and sometimes
wished Kenshin had held onto it a little longer, if only to reassure her when he
left for any sort of mission.
"Yahiko?" she looked up from
her game with Kenji, surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?"
Yahiko smiled slightly as Kenji toddled over to
him, wrapping chubby arms around his striped hakama. "Hey there, kiddo," he
scuffed a hand through the boy's auburn hair. Kaoru felt a twinge of
apprehension at Yahiko's false cheer. Kenji was always able to make his "big
brother" relax, but nothing seemed to change the worry lurking behind Yahiko's
eyes.
He tugged a sheet of paper from his gi, holding
it out to her. "I ran into Katsu on my way here," he mumbled, grasping Kenji by
the waist and hoisting the boy onto his shoulders.
"Sanosuke's friend, right?
The writer?" Kaoru kept her eyes on Yahiko's expression, barely skimming over
the printed page in her hands.
"Yeah," he nodded briefly,
glancing notably at the paper she held. "He gave me that; his latest newspaper.
Said there'd be an article you might want to see."
Kaoru frowned doubtfully. "Well, I'm really not
sure..." Katsu normally published articles about the inherent evils of the Meiji
government - hardly something that spurred her interest.
"It was a government
official that Kenshin went to see, wasn't it?" Yahiko murmured quizzically, his
voice carrying an enigmatic tone she had heard before - in Kenshin, she
realized.
Kenshin.
'The government... of course.'
Her nervousness increasing, she searched the paper fearfully for whatever news
Yahiko was referring too.
She must have looked terribly frantic, for he
reached out and pointed to the article, supplying the information she needed
even as her eyes met the kanji it contained.
"There was a storm," he said
simply, his tone dull for fear of betraying his emotions. "An earthquake caused
it. It hit Sendai pretty badly."
Kaoru's fingers shook, devouring every word of
the article. Negotiations with a government official accused of theft and
illegal associations... police intervention... even an attempted assassination.
Was the deadly storm, the article seemed
to growl at her, simply an act of divine justice against the corrupt
government of our fair country?
The official's seaside housing had been utterly
consumed, torn to pieces by the colossal wave that struck a good portion of the
town. Fires had spread throughout the city, and many casualties had been
reported. Much of the communication was affected - mail, telegraphs - as well as
travel. A good number of stables were flooded and useless for the moment, and
even a portion of the railroad was damaged.
The paper warned all those who had associates
in Sendai to expect little - if any - contact for several days. Death reports
were still coming in.
Kaoru wondered, briefly, if she would faint.
"Kaoru?" Yahiko called
questioningly, as her expression grew even more stricken. She looked up, her
eyes glittering, and he gave her a broad smile. "Oi, don't be worried. It's
Kenshin, isn't it? He'll be fine."
'Then why are you so frightened?'
she wanted to ask him, but felt too afraid of the implications. The thought of
Kenshin - her Kenshin - somewhere in Sendai, alone, stranded, maybe sick,
or wounded, or -
- dead -
But Kenji was watching her, and she couldn't
think such things; not with the child as observant as he was. So she took him
inside, tucked him in for his daily nap, and returned to her chores as if
nothing had gone amiss.
Later that night, when all was calm in the
dojo, she attacked Kenshin's headrest with the warm, wet onslaught of her tears,
helpless against the terrifying thought of living without him.
Despite her fears, Kenshin
arrived home at the dojo seven days later, in the midst of a miserable
thunderstorm. He slogged inside the yard, wet and weary, a strained look in his
eyes as he headed for the house.
Kenji was asleep already, thankfully; he would
not have wished his ghastly appearance on any child, least of all his own whose
birthday he had missed. That fact still stung.
His wife was drinking tea in the dining area
when he slid open the shoji, gazing at her with an expression of extreme relief
on his face.
"Tadaima," he whispered,
breathless.
She was silent, staring up at him in alarm - or
surprise - or... disbelief?
He barely had a moment to consider what he saw
when she suddenly flung herself at him, her fists stamping fiercely against his
chest, tears coursing down her cheeks.
"Dammit," she chanted in a
despairing tone, fingers clutching at his dripping gi with the desperation of a
lost child. "Dammit, dammit, dammit."
"Kaoru...?" he uttered her
name in a lost, baffled voice, straining to figure out what she was so vehement
about.
"Dammit," she repeated,
clenching her eyes shut, "Where were you?! You said you'd be home - you
promised, Kenshin, you promised-"
A pang of grief pierced its way into Kenshin's
heart, and he nodded, submitting himself to her punishment.
"You didn't even send a
letter," she sobbed, continuing her tirade. "You didn't even try!"
He didn't answer her, standing in the silence
and the cold, his hands very still at his sides. He had tried, actually; had
tried several times, but was met by the same firm refusal, by the same answer.
You'll get there before it does, Himura-san. Don't bother, just wait for the
next train. A few more days, now.
"Why didn't you come?" she
wailed, her head shaking in denial of whatever excuse he might give. "We heard
about the storm - how it destroyed the official's home - we didn't know what to
think, and you didn't come home, Kenshin..."
His arms finally rose, curving around her body
and hugging her close. She tightened her grip on him, ignoring the wetness which
seeped through her kimono.
"Dammit..." she whispered,
her voice muffled in his gi. "Dammit, Kenshin..."
Kenshin brushed his fingers through her loose
hair, breathing in the scent he had missed for three long weeks.
"What would you have me do,
Kaoru?" he said softly, hesitant. "Not come home at all?"
'Yes,' she wanted to say, in her
anger, in the lingering thoughts of her despair and fear. 'Yes.' The word
stuck in her throat, sharp and biting.
'Come home.'
Instead, she curved closer to his body, burying
her face in his shoulder and letting the tears of helpless anger - and joy -
mingle with the rain.
~*~
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