| Disclaimer |
Disclaimer: (chibi-Kanashimi appears and bows) Watsuki-sama owns Rurouni Kenshin. My insane older sister is only borrowing the characters to feed her delusional imagination (The Narrator: Hey!) without profit for the entertainment of the people who actually read this. *evil grin* Now, if I owned RK… Saitou: Why do I have this sudden premonition of impending doom? |
| Author Intro |
Kanashimi: For God’s sake people, stop encouraging her! Narrator: (singing in the background) I have reviews, I have reviews! People think I’m funny! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Kanashimi: See what I mean? If anyone else reviews this, I will hunt them down and bash them repeatedly over the head with a fluffy pillow! (snarls at reviewers and brandishes her fluffy pillow) Narrator: Aw, don’t say that! Reviewers are beautiful people! Kanashimi: NO, they’re not! Do you have any idea what it’s like living with you when you’re on an authoress ego trip? Insane, that’s what! I-N-S-A-N-E! Narrator: Stop it with the negative waves, Moriarty! Why can’t you say something beautiful and righteous for once? [A/N: Does anyone know what movie this is from?] Kanashimi: You are sooooo dead! (starts beating her over head with the pillow) Narrator: Aaaaahh, Mercy! Mercy, I pray thee! Tell you what, if I *whisper whisper* would you be happy? Kanashimi: REALLY?! (throws pillow aside) Dammit, get back on that computer and start typing, woman! Narrator: Che, I goin’, I’m goin’! |
| Warnings | None. |
| Previous chapter ::: Author's page ::: Post a review at FFnet ::: Main fan fic index ::: Next chapter | |
Genre::: Humor Rating::: PG-13 Spoiler Level::: Kyoto |
Rurouni Kenshin Outtakes: Chapter 3 - Here We Go Again...by NarratorThis isn’t actually an outtake; it’s just a cute little vignette that popped into my head that was too short to warrant a separate posting: Misao: (walks into the break room off the set) Whew, my throat’s getting dry from all the talking! Why do I always have to be so hyper? Aoshi: (sitting on the floor) Misao, that you? Misao: (jumps three feet in the air) GAH! Aoshi, don’t scare me like that! What the heck are you doing on the floor?! Aoshi: Meditating. Misao: (plops down next to him) Izzat so? Mind if I join you? Aoshi: (noncommittal shrug) Go ahead. (closes his eyes) Misao: (closes her eyes) Tick…tock…tick…tock…goes the clock (it’s a long break) Misao: *thinking* How long have I been sitting here? It feels like my legs aren’t even there…oh great, my butt just fell asleep…hellllloooooo Aoshi, pretty girl sitting right next to you! What are you going to do about it? I’m wearing my special perfume, just for you, why don’t you kiss me dammit! There’s no one here…we’re aaaaaaalllllllll alone, it’s the perfect time, the perfect place, hint, hint…! Damn, I guess he’s not receptive to telepathy… Aoshi: ZZzzzz… Misao: What the…?! AOSHI, DID YOU FALL ASLEEP?! Aoshi: *snort* Huh, wha…? Misao: KECHO GERI! Aoshi catches her before she can land the kick on his head, but of course, Misao’s not going to give up that easily… Misao: I can’t believe you! Aoshi: Ow! Misao…! Itai, Misao…! Quit it! (begins to fight back) Misao: My legs fell asleep half an hour ago and you were snoring! (smacks him in the head) Aoshi: (pins her to the floor) Look, I’m sorry…I kind of drifted… Misao: YA THINK?! At that precise moment, Yahiko opens the door and sees them. Both are panting quite heavily and their clothes are in disarray… Yahiko: Misao? AOSHI?! OH MY GOD, MY EYES, MY EYES! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! COULDN’T YOU HAVE GONE SOMEWHERE ELSE?!?! EW, ECCHI, ECCHI, AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (runs away screaming) Aoshi: You know, now that everyone thinks we’re… Misao: …we might as well, neh? Aoshi: ^_^
Scene where Kenshin says goodbye to Kaoru before going to Kyoto: Kenshin: (hugging Kaoru): Thank you for everything. Sessha wa rurouni…I must return to wandering. Kaoru: (begins crying) All Female Cast Members: (offstage) *sniffle* Kenshin: Sayonara... (begins walking away) Kaoru: Ken…shin… (falls to her knees, sobbing) Megumi: Argh! You SON-OF-A-BITCH! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE! Kenshin: Oro! Megumi-dono…?! Tae: HOW DARE YOU LEAVE HER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD LIKE THAT! Kaoru: (still a little misty-eyed) Guys, really, I’m okay… Misao: NO YOU’RE NOT! WHAT KIND OF A MAN LEAVES THE WOMAN HE LOVES CRYING HER HEART OUT?! (kunai appear in her hands) Tsubame: JERK! Director: Ladies, please calm down! It’s only…! All Female Cast Members: YOU SHUT UP! Director: Meep! (cowers behind his chair) All female cast members begin chasing Kenshin around the set, intent on beating the ever-living crap out of him. Kenshin: (running for dear life) Megumi-dono! Tae-dono! ITAI! Misao-DONO! Tsubame: SHINEI! [A/N: o_O] Yahiko: (watching from the sidelines) Women are weird. Sano: You said it. Megumi: In the name of Love, we will punish you! Soujiro: And scary. Saitou: *nod* Of course, this is just payback for Battousai laughing when Tokio was chasing me around. *smug smirk* Aoshi: Hey, Himura! They’re gaining on you! Kenshin: (Battousai Glare-of-Death as he runs past) Hiko: 3000 yen says they catch him before itachi musume runs out of kunai. (ducks one of Misao’s kunai) Misao: I heard that! Kaoru: (joining the men) You’re on. They’ll never catch him. Sano: You sound pretty sure of that, Jou-chan. Kaoru: That’s because I know all about Kenshin’s splendid endurance! (tanuki ears pop out on her head) OHOHOHOHOHOHO! Sano, Saitou + Hiko: *blink blink* o_O Yahiko: I did not need to hear that. Soujiro: Huh? What are you talking about? Did I miss something? Kaoru: -_- It’s scary how naïve you are sometimes. (whispers in his ear) Soujiro: O.O *massive nosebleed* I’m scarred for life!
Scene from above, take two: Kenshin: (hugging Kaoru): Thank you for everything. Sessha wa rurouni…I must return to wandering. Kaoru: (begins crying) All Female Cast Members: (offstage) *sniffle* Kenshin: Sayonara... (begins walking away) Kaoru: Ken…shin… (falls to her knees, sobbing) Director: (looks fearfully at the females; they don’t move) Thank goodness… Kenshin suddenly runs back and sweeps Kaoru up in his arms. Kaoru: Kenshin?! Kenshin: Misao-dono was right! I can’t leave you like this! I can’t stand to be apart from you! Please forgive sessha, de gozaru yo! (crushes her against his chest, sobbing) Kaoru: Ken…shin…can’t…breathe… Yahiko: Forget what I said earlier. Kenshin’s weird. Soujiro: (wiping away the blood still dribbling from his nose) And scary… Director: Is anybody there? Does anybody care? Female Cast Members: *smug grins*
Scene where Soujiro has just cut through Kenshin’s sakabatou: Soujiro: (sheathes sword) You’re right, this match doesn’t have a winner or a loser. (starts walking past Kenshin) I’ll excuse myself for today now, but I hope you’ll fight me again. And have a new sword ready by the time I see you again. (doesn’t realize Kenshin’s slapped a “Kick Me” sign on his back) Kenshin: (trying very hard to keep a straight face) Heh heh…^~^x Soujiro: (exits - still clueless) Saitou: (slaps forehead) I can’t believe you’re the one who’s supposed to save Japan in this series. Kenshin: ^_^x Kaoru: (offstage) Like you should talk, Mister Fun-with-Glue! Saitou: Thhhhhppppbbttttt! Kaoru: Thhhhhhpppppppbbbbbttttttt!! Director: Cut! All of all the immature…!
Scene where Soujiro has just rejoined Shishio and Yumi: Soujiro: I’m sorry, Shishio-san for making such a mess of the sword I borrowed. But it’s not my fault. If you’re going to be mad, be mad at Himura-san. Shishio: To break the Nagasone Kotetsu this badly with a sakabatou…I underestimated him a bit. Soujiro: Kotetsu? Soujiro: Well, excuuuuuuuuuuse me, lady! Just because I don’t know every detail about every frickin’ sword that’s been made in Japan doesn’t mean you can treat me like a frickin’ moron! Shishio + Yumi: o.O Soujiro: Aw, forget it! Nobody cares about me anyway! My cheeks are cramping from all this smiling, I’ve got a wedgie and I didn’t have my coffee this morning! On top of that, someone ate the last cheese Danish in the break room! I AM NOT A HAPPY SOUJIRO!! (stomps off, still ranting) Misao: (offstage) I didn’t know he was so possessive about those things… Shishio: He still has that “Kick Me” sign on his back, you know. Yumi: Uh-huh. Shishio: Maybe we should do something about it. Yumi: Uh-huh *evil grin* Director: Kowai…
Fun with Rurouni Kenshin Characters…
Kanashimi: Hee hee… Narrator: Dear God…
Scene where Saitou has just gatotsued Kenshin for the first time and is readying for his second attack: Kaoru: That stance! Another Gatotsu? Saitou: (begins charging) Out of nowhere, Saitou is tackled by a Goth-girl-type chibi. Chibi-Kanashimi: POOKIE! (glomp!) Saitou: *sweatdrop* Get off of me! Chibi-Kanashimi: NO! You’re my pookie! I’ll never let you go! Saitou: I said get off! (starts trying to pry her off of his body) Yahiko: Pookie?! Kenshin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…ow...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! [A/N: He was just gatotsued; it’s gotta hurt to laugh] Sano: I never knew Saitou was so attractive. Megumi: o_O Please don’t say things like that, Sano… Kaoru: It’s very wrong, coming from you. Sano: Huh? O.O Hey! NO, NO, I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!!! Yahiko: Suuuuuure… Chibi-Kanashimi: I’m gonna hug you and pet you and bring you home and call you Pookie! Saitou: Stop calling me Pookie! Chibi-Kanashimi: Um…no! (starts dragging him off the set) Saitou: Let go of me! No, I won’t go! Help! Somebody, anybody! HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPP! Kenshin: Should we help him, de gozaru ka? Kenshin-gumi exchanges glances. Kenshin-gumi: Naaaahh! This little side note of absolute randomness is a belated birthday present for my little sister, Kanashimi. Yes, she has said she’s wanted to do this… Kanashimi: Only you didn’t put in the part where I got to bite… Narrator: Ack! No, don’t say it! Kanashimi: But I only wanted to… Narrator: Noooooooooo! I don’t want to think about it ever again! (runs away screaming) Kanashimi: Che. Wonder what’s got her all worked up. (starts rummaging through her whip collection) Saitou: O.O |
| Endnotes | None. |
| Previous chapter ::: Author's page ::: Post a review at FFnet ::: Main fan fic index ::: Next chapter | |