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Rurouni Kenshin Outtakes: Chapter 5 - Technical Difficulties... Don't Read If You're Not Eastily Amused

by Narrator

Kanashimi here. Yeah, that’s right: it’s me, The Narrator’s little sister. Ummmm…we’re having some technical difficulties right now…

Narrator: (curled up in a ball on the floor) 0111000110101 base two does not make a persuasive speech a primary pollutant! You’re not listening to me! Why can’t you annuities understand the pathos that is in me?! Why? (begins sobbing)

Kanashimi: *sweatdrop*

Saitou: What’s wrong with the ahou?

Kanashimi: Finals. And this is only the second day, too.

Saitou: You mean…she’s going to get worse?

Kanashimi: Yup.

Narrator: (a la Escaflowne’s Dilandau) Chiku…chiku…chiku…must burn…must burn…hahahaha…moero…moero!...MOERO!!...MOECHAAAAAAAAAAA!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Saitou: O_O I can’t deal with another insane woman! Make her better, now!

Kanashimi: Calm down, Pookie. I’ve already tried the usual stuff: Escaflowne videos, Gundam Wing pics, Kenshin music, Sorcerer Hunters manga, but it just doesn’t seem to work!

Narrator: (twitching convulsively) Destroy…destroy…A = R[(1-(1+i)^-n)/i] and secondary pollutants inform photochemical arrays of 3x4! Hydrocarbons will take over the world! And squirrels will reign supreme! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! WE’RE ALL DOOMED! DOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!

Saitou: Try again! She’s starting to froth at the mouth! And stop calling me Pookie!

Kanashimi: There’s something I haven’t tried…

Saitou: What? What haven’t you tried?!

Kanashimi: I haven’t tried using Bob.

Saitou: Bob?

Kanashimi: Her laptop. Normally, if she ever finds out that I’m messing with it, she snaps out of whatever mood she’s in…

Saitou: Good enough! (takes out his katana)

Kanashimi: Pookie? What are you doing?

Saitou: Stop calling me Pookie, woman! And I’m going to snap her out of her insanity right now! (prepares to Gatotsu Bob) Aku, Soku,…

Kanashimi: Pookie, matte! Dame! You didn’t let me explain…!

Suddenly, The Narrator’s Authorspace becomes reeeaaalllyy quiet. Quiet, except for the sound of low, deep breathing…

Kanashimi: Ano…nee-chan?

Narrator: (think Hannibal Lector) Nee-chan? I’m sorry, nee-chan’s not here at this time…(gets up off the floor) No, she’s not here…

Kanashimi: (grabs onto Saitou) Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshiiiiit…!

Saitou: (a tad worried at this point)

Narrator: (glares at Kanashimi and Saitou with glowing pink eyes) Hello, Kanashimi.

Kanashimi: SHIIIIIITT! RUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!!! (sprints away as fast as she can, hauling Saitou behind her)

Narrator: You can run, but you’ll only die tired…hahahahahaha…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Saitou: What happened?!

Kanashimi: Pookie, I love you to death, but have I ever told you that you can be a real baka sometimes?

Saitou: Nani?

Kanashimi: My sister’s a fanfic authoress! Bob is what she writes her fics on! Give you a clue why we’re hauling ass?!

Saitou: …oh. KUSO! RUN FASTER, WOMAN!!!

Kanashimi: This is a call for help! Can anyone out there find a way to cure my sister? Preferrably before she kills us?!

Narrator: (singing) A huntsing we will go, a huntsing we will go, HI-LO A MERRY-O, A HUNTSING WE WILL GO!!

Disclaimer: DO YOU THINK WE HAVE TIME FOR THIS?!?! WE ARE CURRENTLY FLEEING FROM A PSYCHOTIC HOMICIDAL AUTHORESS!!

(we don’t own RK or associated characters. Happy?!)