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Kenshin Outtakes, Take 2!: Chapter 6 - No Need for Angst!

by The Narrator

Scene where Katsu reveals his plan to Sano:

Katsu: Look at this! *throws open a closet full of explosives…looooots of explosives*

Sano: Katsu! You…!

Katsu: These are bombs that I’ve made with my knowledge of gunpowder, learned as a member of the Sekihoutai!

Sano: …really need a hobby…

Katsu: Well, I kinda had to give up crocheting to single-handedly overthrow that government, you know. I mean, there just aren’t enough hours in the day to…

Sano: *twitch* TMI, Katsu…

Director: Cut! Kami-sama, give me strength.

Scene from above, take two:

Katsu: Look at this! *again, closet full of many explosives*

Sano: Katsu! You…!

Katsu: These are bombs that I’ve made with my knowledge of gunpowder, learned as a member of the Sekihoutai! Even if I did have to give up that lovely muffler I started on. *sigh*

Sano: *slaps forehead*…reeeeaaallly need to get off your knitting kick.

Katsu: It’s crochet! There’s a difference! *Grrrrrr!*

Sano: Um, yeah, difference…right…*scooting ever-so-carefully for the door…*

Director: Cut! Somebody go get Katsu’s craft basket from the break room, before he injures someone!

Scene from Sano’s party:

Megumi: But there’s something disturbing about Sano treating us. Maybe it’s money earned through evil means. I don’t want to be an accomplice of yours!

Sano: Oi, that’s not what you were saying last night!

Megumi: *blush*

Director: Cut! *slaps himself in the forehead and groans*

Kenshin: Let it be on the record that it was those two *points at Sano and Megumi* and not Kaoru and sessha who were being hentai!

Yahiko: For once.

Scene where Kaoru gets sloshed:

Kenshin: Kaoru-dono, you shouldn’t drink so recklessly de gozaru yo!

Kaoru: Leave me alone!

Megumi: She’s telling you to leave her alone, so why don’t you? Now, Ken-san, how about some fried tofu?

Kaoru: Hiccup! *turns very very red*

Kenshin: *I-have-a-bad-feeling-about-this* Kaoru-dono?

Kaoru: *major close-up* Oi, Kenshin!!

Kenshin: *please-don’t-hurt-me* Y-yes?!

Kaoru: I liiiiiike you! You’re so cute and cuddly and…and…and…*hiccup!* wonderful…

Kenshin: Oro?

Kaoru: And when we do stuff together, like…*hiccup* like…you know… (~.^)

Kenshin: *holy-crap-she’s-really-drunk!* Ix-nay on the etails-day!

Kaoru: You mean like how you…

Kenshin: O_Ox *grabs Kaoru and kisses her to shut her up*

RK Cast: OoO

Director: That was close! I’ve had about as much hentai as I can handle. All right you two, cut!

Kenshin + Kaoru: *not listening*

Yahiko: Ano, I think we’d better call a break…

Sano: …and send someone for a bucket of ice water…

Scene where Katsu uses his bombs on Kenshin:

Katsu: *chucks the bombs at Kenshin* Take that, Battousai!

Kenshin: *slices the wicks off the bombs…or something to that effect* Now…*looks down at the bombs* Hey, these aren’t bombs de gozaru yo!

Sano: They aren’t?

Kenshin: They’re coconuts! You just put some yarn on a couple of coconuts and threw them at sessha!

Katsu: *facefault* Ano…they’re supposed to be bombs, you know, you just…

Kenshin: Where’d you get coconuts?

Katsu: What?

Kenshin: *very patiently* Where did you get the coconuts de gozaru ka?

Katsu: Well, I kinda just found them, but that’s not the point…

Kenshin: Found them? In Tokyo? The coconut’s tropical de gozaru yo!

Director: Cut! Kenshin, I said no more Monty Python! You know what that means…

Kenshin: Nooooooo, sessha’s sorry! I won’t do it again, I promise!

Director: *shakes head* Uh-uh, the DVD player’s out of the break room, permanently.

Kenshin: Nooooooooo! *goes fetal* Must…have…randomness…

Saitou: And we don’t get enough of that with Narrator writing these?

Fight - Saitou vs. Sano!

Saitou: I see; the Battousai is not home. I will just have to leave him a gift, then. *draws his hidden katana*

Sano: For you to have been carrying such a thing, you came here with every intention of fighting!

Saitou: *grins and licks his sword* Ow!

Sano: What’s wrong?

Saitou: Ah thing ah uht eye uhn on eye ord… (I think I cut my tongue on my sword)

Sano: Sounds like a personal problem. *snicker*

Saitou: *glare*

Director: Cut! Someone go call the medics in here!

Scene from above, take two:

Saitou: I see; the Battousai is not home. I will just have to leave him a gift, then. *draws his hidden katana…only it’s a wiffle bat*

Sano: For you to have been carrying such a thing, you came here with every intention of playing tee-ball with the kiddies! Hahahahahahaha!

Saitou: *eye twitch*

Director: Cut!

Off-camera shot of Kenshin innocently hiding Saitou’s katana in a handy dumpster.

Scene where Kenshin is contemplating the reasons for Saitou’s attack:

Kenshin: If his target was me, why did he attack Sano? Or does he have another objective in mind? *stands up and charges an imaginary Saitou with his sword*

Saitou’s sword skills have not decreased at all. They are the same as when he was called the Wolf of Mibu. With my sakabatou and my oath not to kill, will I be able to fend him off? *glances at the wall, noticing the crack he cut in it* And will I be able to cover that up before Kaoru kills me?

Director: Cut! No adlibbing!